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JasFow Aug 2020
Pockets of Summer rain
Drift me away from all this pain
Clouding my eyes then I can't see right
Please take my hearing and sight
Everything that's thrown at me
Causes me more tears
I used to fear being alone
That went away this year
Comfortable in discomfort
I tore my own skin
Sewed myself together again
This time I won't let it scar
I'm going to heal my heart
I'm ready to keep this pain to help me grow again.
JasFow Aug 2020
The laugh catches me, low and high
Lips that aren't meant to be mine, carrying me away
Eyes tunneling through me, while I try to see past the surface  
Pupils dilating, heart picking up speed
A laugh brings me a smile
Her scent sends me to a place I didn't know existed
I feel a warmth cross my cheeks as I pull her closer
Her hand brushes the side of my face
She knows I blush when she does this to me
One more touch of the lips on my forehead
I melt completely in her arms
Just an inch taller, I lean into her
She laughs again, this time softly
Finding the center of my back
A light back and forth eases me
I no longer fear what I'm feeling
I've dreamt of this longer than I was aware
I hope I find her one day
JasFow Aug 2020
Blocking out so many memories
Is the only thing that keeps me moving
It’s too hard to know what’s real
Memories seem fake or forced
But I know they were real
No one wants to think back to their past
And only feel fear and sorrow
The feeling that the lone thoughts of joy
Are fabricated
Dreams I created to make it seem better
To make it as if it wasn’t that bad
Like the pain my sister and I endured
Wasn’t all just make believe
Nightmares that curated my reality of the past
System fails as I try to catch my breath
Heat racing a beat faster each tick
Pitch black walls with curtains on top
I wish sometimes it was all a bad dream
Maybe then when I woke in a sweat
I wouldn't have to suppress the screams
JasFow Aug 2020
Coming through a fogged over window
A slight chilled mist on the air when you open it
It's those old memories echoing from before
The fall of yellow orange turned leaves
Not just yet crunchy
I feel the breeze coming through
You handing me a hot mug of honey sweetened tea
A brief kiss landing upon my head
Leaning back to look at you
I take in the steam now coming from my hands
This is all I dreamt of since we met
Yet then you were consumed in another's heart
Never seeing this far in the future
Your warmed hand placed softly on my shoulder
I let the light reflect off the glass into my eyes
Its early and breathtaking
JasFow Jul 2020
So much time has passed
Yet so little life has been lived
Oh how life's changed to now
JasFow Jul 2020
Change of Season and Change of Myself
I lost the family I had
Move in with a boy, treat life like a toy
Something to just have fun with
Get drunk to forget, it happens everytime
Hope that one day I'll find a love to be mine
JasFow Jul 2020
There’s so much
I’d never change
Including the parts
That drive me insane
How you smile
Your laugh
The silly noises you make
The jokes you tell
How you give
When you cook
Your judgmental glances
The way you love men
How you'd never love me the same
But you love me none the less
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