My husband won’t have *** with me
Although he’s fine sending pics to his friends.
He cherishes their reactions.
Always at my expense.

I’m stuck hiding in the shower
To get myself alone.
The only time I can scream in pleasure
Is whenever he isn’t home.

I’m starting to feel like I’m not pretty.
So I sext strangers online.

My husband won’t have *** with me.
I don’t know why this is.
So all I have are fantasies.
Of me and all his friends.

All I ever wanted was that hour glass.
To be pretty and normal like them.
To be the cheerleader
To not be the freak.

All I ever wanted was that hour glass.
A figure like my mom and sisters
To be long tall and desirable.
To not be like me.

all I ever wanted was that hour glass
But nature wasn’t kind to me.
A cups, a skinny waste and a round fat behind.
Are what I got instead.

All I wanted was an hour glass.
Not just 90 pound of low self esteem
And a round fat ***.

I feel so *****
Each time I shut my eyes.
While my love makes love
I imagine someone else every time.

Someone to call me names.
Someone to play games.
Someone who talks *****
And finishes without aim.

I feel so trapped and alone.
Each time I touch myself,
I close my eyes
And I’m no longer stuck at home.

Me and you can never be what was
All has been lost and forgotten.
I moved on since and found a new cause.
While your insides burn and heart- rotted.

I thought you could love
I’d Be everything you’d need.
Me and you were never enough
All you held was greed.

I gave you my body and all my soul.
Like a thief in the night you came and stole.

You see me and you are like 4 walls of mirror.
Staring through your blurred reflection,
I’ve never seen clearer.

Letting you spank me, share me, use me as you please.
But me and you was nothing but the wind blowing leaves.

Being with you is all I thought I’d need,
Until me and you just became “me”.

I wanted you home for Christmas.
I wanted you hear with me.
I could forgive the last month of sleeping alone but not this night you left me.

I’m your wife, your helper
You could stuff my stocking
Instead you’re working
And I’m alone.

These last months have been the loneliest I’ve ever known.
No love you’ve shown.

It couldn’t been for us to finally be together.
Skin on skin against the wall
Or tease me with a feather.

But I’m stuck watching people live my life online.
And touching myself wishing I felt
good enough to call you mine.

Is it all hopeless?
I feel so ******.
So *******.
is this who I am?

This is far from the first time
My eyes have felt
or my tongue as tasted
the salt of tears.

This is far from the first time
my heart has shaken
it's been breaking.
but it's so new.

My breaks knowing I cause you pain
My eyes form tears when each day is the same.
I'm still the same.

I've been seeing you grow.
I watch you flourish.
Your are strong,
I feel so alone.

How is it when I feel your skin
you couldn't feel further away.
I'm slipping babe, I'm slipping.
Will you ever forgive me?

Will I ever feel whole?
Will I ever end this feeling of being hollow?
I can't see your load to follow.
A pill I'll never swallow.

Please forgive me.

Ignored again before he leaves for work.
It’s time to close my eyes and picture better days.

I’ll enter into myself
And talk to myself as if I’m the master.
“Hello old friend” I’ll say
As I spread my legs and take myself again.

Bored at home.
Super alone.
Someone message me and let’s ***** talk.