I think I want.

I think I want sunlight.
I do want sunlight.

I think I want sunlight more than you.
I need it.

I fight for light every day.
It's in my nature.
I can't explain it.
I need all of it or I will die.

I do not have words
to explain.
I don't want to explain.
All I want is light.
And when it comes to light, I will fight.
Stay out of my light.
The fight for light gives and takes life.

Yet, I am alive because I fight.
I hate my neighbor
because she wants my light,
but I cannot move to another spot.
So, I climb, here, towards the light above
not knowing why or how.

I will die in the fight for light
because light is all that I live for.

Poison put in a sacred chamber
seeps into its pores.

There is a dark storm on the horizon -
Let's have fun.
The storm will never come.

Swift, numbing winds blow
across the arid plain
with a hushed belligerence.
They are bringing the storm this way.
Familiar foes fill the empty space.
The storm is back.
First, the wind blows me back
And I am numb.
And I am gone.

After the winds, the storm hits.
Days go by.
Then, the storm is gone,
and I can see the sun.
I can see the sun,
but I cannot feel it on my face.
The storm is inside me
where the sun cannot reach.
Forever, I will carry the storm.
I will wait for the next wind to blow
So at least I can feel numb.

This poison.

One thought, alone,
Floats around
In your brain.
It's not lonely, though
Maybe you are.
Give your thought
Another thought
And now you have two.
They are not lonely, though
Maybe you are.
Give these thoughts a thought
And to those
Give more
Until a collection of thoughts
Float around in your brain.
Something profound is now astir.
The collection of thoughts
Births a thought of its own
And you suddenly no longer
Ever, ever, ever feel alone.

Learn me the warrior's way
by being the warrior.
Learn me the lover's way
by being the lover.
Learn me the father's way
by being the father.
Learn me my life
by being my life.
So you see
you cannot be me
by reading books about me.
You will never be me.
So be you
by being you

A new place
With new faces -
Everyone is new,
I feel safe.

But in a place
Where I'm the only new face
Everyone is looking at me -
I feel out of place!

My voice is gone,
My talent erased.
Everyone is looking
But they don't see me.

I'm under a spell
That only I can break.

I have to see them,
Speak my truth,
And let them see
How very beautiful, talented, and grateful I am
To be there with all of them
Turning new faces
Into faces I love.

Vibrations
in stillness
magnify
the minutia.

I move towards stillness.
Here, projected on my eyelid,
a ball of fire dances in a belly of shadows -
Calm outer shell mixed with
boiling inner peace.
Suddenly,
joy erupts.
I am held by it
until the bell rings;
the vibrations change
- always changing -
and my eyes open.

The dancing flame dies out.
It stays out.
I have not discovered the secret of stillness today.