I want to be forgiven;
I don't even know for what
and I don't really care
by who
I just want to be
forgiven

'...it soaked by the lake,
of mind's whispering willow,
as Silence,
I hear its core,
whipping the current of tears.'  
~

I'll never know which way her head turns first when she hears my voice, or what stupid jokes make her start laughing all embarrassed, idk what it feels like to hug her, idk what kinds of foods she likes to snack on, idk what she looks like when she's tired, idk what random moments can make her smile, idk what she shakes her head at when she overhears a conversation, idk if she leans on a desk before she gets up or if she scoots out her chair first, idk if she picks her nails, idk if she lips when she gets an injury from basketball, idk what her hands feel like in mine, idk what shampoo she uses and what her hair smells like and how short she is compared to me so i can kiss her head and- i could go on. But it's the little things, you know? You two have that and I don't and it makes me sad

When obscurity disguises itself in distinct knowledge,
And ignorance claims to be adequate intelligence,
Confusion conveniently establishing as the norm,
Excluding any possibility of contradiction, ...

she watches me
she has a tight grip on my throat
she?
mother.