Flicking through old photos
Since forever stashed under my bed
Mum points at one of me
Little, laughing
And my brothers
In colourful winter hats,
Climbing white trees,
A one of a kind cold day
The brown leaves sing
"Weren't you so cute?"
To think Christmas is wasted on me now
And I lie lamenting the happiness of someone long past
My throat hurts at the effort of not just bursting out
Crying
Like a baby as I lose control
In front of my own mother
That wasn't me on that fence
The little face swinging upside-down
That was someone pure
Locked inside me
That was light on a piece of card
I don't feel
Like a person
Anymore
I'm a mish-mash
Of random
Things
I am a split second
That's almost gone
I am traits, emotions, chemicals, hormones, electricity, fear, love, friendships
Fading into a maelstrom of humanness
Mounds of recycled carbon
Made-up meaning
Lost in fog
Where I begin and end fades
Into everything and nothing
I'm the dirt in the ground
The stars in the sky
Something words can't describe

Not even the black out
Could blind me
From the pain, shame and regret
The next morning

j.

By Arcassin Burnham


Two crossed lovers with one common goal,
To find their way to each other and bind their souls in gold,
I was told , to find a woman with a peaceful heart,
Must've told myself that , cause nobody would enroll,
The facts of life to be a man and understand all of the urges,
Now stuck in a time where I gotta give myself more courage,
My family always had a hand in all of my contingencies,
I hope these ignorant complacent people stop trying me,
When I have a child of my own, he or she will have the advantage to
Learn things on their own , he or she will know the meaning of respect when
It condones,
He or she will know there won't be any favorites on this throne,
They don't have to know about their grandmother,
Does it bother me in any way to never let my kids see the woman
That should've gave me more love,
Or the woman that locked me away when I needed someone to
Go to , but I had no one,
Thats why I'm leaving everyone,
Bye.

Last night I cried myself to sleep...
But tonight I'm filled with warmth
and hope to dream of you once more.

Kiss it make it better,
Hike your skirt up a little higher.
No one ever looked at you the way friends do.
This is what you call fooling around,
And you do it with him and You do it with a frown.

And he won't remember your name,
You can't get dressed without a flash back these days

Think I'll trade my old guitar in for a gun,
I'll just pull that trigger instead of strum,
Should be a whole lot easier to play,
And then finally I might get to have my say.

Think I'll trade my old guitar in for a gun,
The crowd will move and then they'll run,
Bullets for notes and screams for cheers - what a joy,
Get a load of my new shiny musical toy.

Think I'll trade my old guitar in for a gun,
Your ears will be ringing when I'm done,
I'll point that thing coldly at your head,
Cheer quietly as you're going to be dead.

Think I'll trade my old guitar in for a gun,
Then I might start to have some fun,
I'll play it loud and turn it up to eleven,
I'll send you all on your way to Heaven.