A tiny breeze
Cleans the stagnant air
Around my bedroom.
I thank the gods
Nobody comes closer to me,
So they cannot smell
The stench of *****,
Unwashed masses of hair.
A breeze that brings
The smell of tear gas,
I sense the protesters
Didn’t want to leave.
Now the smell
Of live death
Fades away
Mixed with scents
Of freedom and dignity.
I wish I was there
I used to be clean,
I used to move around,
When routines kept me going
Instead of being petrified
By the following day;
I used to be useful
Or so I’ve heard.

Why am I rooted to this place?
Invisible strings
Don’t let me get up
Until I *******,
Just a tiny amount of dopamine
To escape from bed,
From death.
I make plans
Everyday
To avoid being stuck.
Yet my mind
Holds the reigns
So I will not
Get out of bed
Ever again.

How can I sleep?
When there’s a railroad
Inside my window
Near my amygdala,
When music plays
On television.
How can I sleep?
When she keeps saying
She misses me,
Yet I don’t know
What this means.
How can I sleep?
If there are blue screens
Denying
Melatonin,
In the morning it kicks in.
How can I sleep?
If the song
Has not ended
Nor will it stop
In the near future
Since I paid
For no commercial breaks.

When the wind blows
Through the drapes,
Half open.
A breeze
Comes from somewhere
To play with the smoke.
On the table
There is incense
Going up in essence.
The radio keeps talking,
And screaming
At me,
Laughing
With me?
My imaginary friends
Would call me paranoid
If I had any.

I was born in Summer
Almost at the end of it,
I have forgotten the warmth
Of the Sun.
Autumn has been my life,
Most of it
With fallen leaves
Clogging the sewers,
Flooding
The streets of my story.
I’m in Winter now,
Ice and snow
Cover the doorway,
I  would say this may be the reason
Nobody visits,
Yet it is impossible for me to go out either,
It seems.
I wish I could see Spring,
I have heard marvelous things of it.
I imagine what it is like
To enjoy a cold breeze
While the Sun is warm.

Your silence
Drives me crazy,
Yet everything drives me crazy,
You are just one
Of everyday things.
Like the song that is in my head
Since this morning,
Over and over
Again.
I hate it, I hate you.
Your silence deafening my ideas
Making despair seem real.
I’ve learned to live with madness
In and out,
Love and hate,
Cats and dogs.
Madness of silence,
It doesn’t let me sleep;
The loud noise
Of my mind
Burning in flames of oblivion,
Indifference.
If you go quiet, I can’t hear myself
I don’t perceive,
Nor do I breathe,
I only hope hopelessly
For the silence
Of your voice
To end.

With ink and skin
We write thank you notes.
We are thankful
And blessed.
We are destroyed
And built again
At the end of a long flight
While our flags look remarkably similar.
Same colors;
Stars that start
To fade away.
Like the scent
On my lips
Of your neck.
Absence makes the heart grow bitter,
Fonder of hatefulness
Scared by the scars of our love.
Machines translate our emotions,
Into data
Yet life goes on
As it should
Not for me though
Thank you
Spelled backwards is goodbye.