your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

now i know
you wear all that
black
to absorb
all of the
light
and warmth
and color

that no one
ever gave
to you

my life line moves across
your chest
your love line inches towards
my lower back
reading your palms
under the thin covers
summer air blows into our hair
permeating the smell
of grass and warm flowers

we embrace
the unknowable future crushed
between our palms.

Cheating on you-
With myself.
Nothing to do.
Not with you.

you made words and phrases
arrange themselves fluently into
a constellation of words

but it scares me, really
it scares me because
that means
you also have the energy
to describe myself
with
my
own
poems