Dear Brain, what the **** were you thinking?!

Sincerely, Heart

I look, but I don't see...
I don't see my reflection.
A stranger stands before me,
staring back deeply into my eyes.

I only see a woman...
a woman who isn't me.
Her skin is so tight to her face,
she is tiny like a child.

Lines are imprinted,
around her dry lips.
Dark circles encompass,
each end of her eyes.

Her cheekbones protrude-
the light hangs on the edge.
Her smile is weak and faded;
who is this person I see?

I don't want to look,
she saddens my heart.
I don't want to see reality,
staring into the mirror.

If I tell you that I want to die
Will you listen then?
What if I say that I'm just sad
And could really use a friend
Must I self-depreciate
To get your ****** attention
Pretend that it's myself I hate
To spark your intervention
I am mostly happy
But still, I'm sometimes sad
Apparently not good enough
At dwelling on the bad

when did everything
get so serious?

seems like half a breath ago
we played and smoked
we talked and fought
untouchable.

but the expositions over,
now the conflict begins
as we're heading up
our arc of suspense.

as our self worth starts dropping
through constant comparison
of our backstage
with their performance,

we start getting beaten
and we start thinking that
we deserve to get beaten.

as our cheating and lying
turns from harmful mistakes
to just another part in a
cyclic self destructive
downward spiral,

we begin making the
unthinkably miserable
happen impossibly frequently.

so witness live:
the loss of another generation
to self violence
mental health
and despair.