all we do is wait.
wait for the world to change.
wait for the world to end.
well i never was very patient.

I only cry for my heart
I always make it about how badly my heart hurts

But for you?
It's like I no longer have one...a heart.
I just steal yours and hook it up to my body

I love to feel your pain

It's scary how your mind
can play tricks on you.
It's not until 1 am,
after the day has passed
and I have showered
and slipped into my pjs
and snuggled up into my bed,
that I start to feel alone.
I toss and turn and
imagine your arms around me
stroking my back
and you whispering
in my ear how you'd
rather be nowhere but here.
This is what keeps me up
at night but I know you sleep
sound without a single
thought of me.
It's scary how your mind
can play tricks on you.
Just when I think
I'm finally moving on,
the stillness of my
room at night reminds me
just how alone I am.

Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I like having an organized room and arrive 15 minutes early to everything because it's the only thing I can control in my life?  I can't control falling in love.  I can't control you when you leave.  I can't control the malignant thoughts that spur up once I'm alone.  I can't control myself when I text you asking if you miss me even a little bit and I can't control crying myself to sleep when you don't text back.  I can't control these things and it scares me so I take it out on everything else.

for even the good guy


who's no good

I keep writing suicide notes in my head

never actually put them on paper, no, too real

I went for a drive and stopped on the railroad tracks...a train never came

Why? Why when I offer so willingly to be one of the 500 a year to be taken by railroad, nobody's there to listen

If I were in a book I'd be a perfect candidate to be taken out by heart disease, but instead my circulatory system couldn't be less flawed, and I'm not in a book.
This scene doesn't have background music
There's just a dog making noise in his kennel

This moment doesn't matter. Nobody's here to see it.

This moment, that is the utter choice in existence of myself, does not matter.

Because nobody cares to see it.

"I know how to stop taking care of myself until I'm overgrown with weeds just to watch you grow"

I might just keep ya around for a while
So you fall in love and out of style

You'll love her because she'll destroy you, call you king, and steal your crown. Build you a castle to tear it down.
Little by little. Until you've become a puzzle
And she's swallowed a missing piece