I saw you in the hallway,
With all of your friends,
And everything around me moved in slow motion,
The girls think I'm crazy,
I kinda agree,
But it's hard to be cool enough whenever you look at me,

And I can be immature when I'm lying on the floor,
Photoshopping us together like I'm all yours.
But you just learned my name,
And I think that's kinda wack,
Have you seen my sweet shoes and my new backpack yet?

Somebody tell you why this hurts so bad,
Why can't I find someone like my dad, (I love you dad)

Why can't you just see what I see,
When you say I'm just a friend, you tell me I'm just friend,
I think I could make you happy,
But you say I'm just a friend,
So I'll be that
But I don't wanna be just that,

You probably think I'm too young to feel this way,
To you I'm a crush that just won't go away,
So even if you move on and have a happy life,
I promise I will pray for you, 'cause I'll be doing fine,

See I can try to be mature like nothing's really wrong,
But you probably know I'm faking by the time you see this
And I don't mind saying how I feel, as long as I stay true and keep it real,

Somebody tell you why love takes so long,
I think I'll just watch Reba with my mom (yeah)

Why can't you just see what I see,
When you say I'm just a friend, you tell me I'm just friend,
I think I could make you happy,
But you say I'm just a friend..

I have 100% been through hell. I have been through so much my whole life. I've been judged and bullied for 10 years. I've been hurt physically, emotionally, and mentally. I've been threatened over and over again. I've been Abandoned and alone a lot for long amounts of time. I've felt love toward someone for 10 years (almost 11), that person hurt me 3 times and put through heart shattering pain.

Do you know what it feels like to be hurt by someone you love so much that you don't know what to do with yourself? Do you know what it's like to love someone for 10 years, then get rejected and your heart broken by that same person and still love and wanna be with them? Do you know what it's like to hate yourself so much that your too ashamed to go or do anything, because your too fat, too ugly, or you just don't fit in?

Well all of that, It's me. Every last bit. I know I am a crazy mess. I know I am a pathetic, ugly, fat, loser, that has a loving caring family, but a really messed up life. That is the person I am in my eyes. So if you really think I am "all that", a "showoff", someone who's "perfect". Yeah, well, Guess what... There is no such thing as "perfect" and I know that very well.

I do not do or go through all this ******* to get attention.
I do not tell you who I am or "show the real me" because I will scare you away like everyone else.

So.. I guess this is goodbye because I know you'll run like everyone else.

Tears rolling down my face.
The emptiness is too much to handle.
I am alone in this terrible hurtful world.
No one cares about me as I once thought they did.
I am nothing to anyone, even to myself.
I have never despised myself so much.
I have never wanted everything to end so much.

An emotionless pit of skin and bones
Sunken eyes and pupils made of stones
She can't hear the judgement or grief
silently she sits with stares of
Disbelief
she can't understand what she feels or
say what she thinks
Illiterate emotionally, unstable and drained of dignity
Sleeps so sound she can't even hear her
dreams
life continuously surrounds her;
yet she can't seem to slow down
she can't remember where the last place
her sanity was found
dug herself into the ground just struggling to breathe
too lost in her mind to find the time to grieve
An empty shell of the soul the she used to be.
And no one will be on the other side
*WAITING