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Di Oct 2020
Can you try to keep these daily reminders
I know it's hard but I know you can do it
You are beautiful even if you don't realize it
You are alive for a reason
No matter what they say to you
You are valid and loved
What you have to say matters
Don't let anyone take your happiness away
Don't stress yourself over the little things
You are only human don't overwork yourself
Always remember to take care of yourself
Drink lots of water & eat properly
Sleep as much as possible
Stay strong no matter what
Don't be ashamed to cry
Take time for yourself
Don't let anyone push you around
Try to stay calm no matter what
You don't have to bottle everything up
Other people are there for you
<3
Di Oct 2020
All I feel is pain
My head is spinning
I scream out for you
Do you hear me
Do you need me like I need you
Pain all I feel is pain
Keep me in this cage
Don't let me out
Best to throw away the key
Because if you let me out
My demons will surround you
Help me help me I call out
But no one will listen
All that they hear is my demons screaming
Look away before I hypnotize you
Go away she doesnt need anyone
Look away before you get lost in my eyes
Don't look away see the pain in my eyes
Look away before you try to save me
Don't look away i need you to stay
Don't go away help me
Go away she doesn't need you
Pls stay
Go away
No don't go
Yes go away
Pls help me let me out
Go away no need for some help
As you walk away
My demons take over
I feel pain I ache
I scream out
You look at me
And you see evil
I spit at you
Your too late
She's mine now
No one can take her away
My demons grab me by the throat
You grab onto the cage and shake it
You scream now you try to reach for me
It's too late I say and look away
But you stay you pull the key out
and you let me out you grab my hand
You bring me close and whisper
Your mine and  I love you
My demoms hide and I look into your eyes
Take me away from her I say
My demoms shriek and grabs a hold of my neck
Think you can run from us
We will be back my demon whispers in my ear
I feel pain as she runs her nails down my throat
I look at you and you draw back
No don't go don't be afraid of me
You pull at my hand and we walk out
But I hear the demons whisper
Your life will never be full of happiness
And then they disappear back into my mind
This poem was inspired by a dream I had about fighting my inner demons.
Di Oct 2020
I feel fear creeping on me
When the lights go out
And my eyes close
My thoughts go buzzing
The kind I don’t wanna think
It’s tough when I close my eyes
I just want to rest and be at peace
But the fear and doubt comes back again
I use the blade and pour out my pain
I feel the tears come again
Curse myself for not controlling myself
I tell my depression to leave me
But I hear the voices in my head and I hear laughter
They say I’ll never be anything
Should just listen and **** myself
But I won't listen I refuse to listen
This poem could be triggering to some people who read it so if you are triggered by reading about self harm then please skip this poem.
Di Oct 2020
Everyone may see me and think I'm fine  
But in reality I'm not
What is fine?
All I feel is numb inside
I hide behind a fake smile to hide how I feel
People think I'm doing just fine
But behind my fake smile
I am far from fine
I feel lost in my mind
Searching for answers
But get none
Why can't I be fine
Why am I never going to be fine
Di Nov 2020
If I tell you I'm ok then take the time to see what's wrong
Ok?
Di Oct 2020
Trying to hide what I am from you
Trying to hide the dark part of me
But you know me to well
I can’t hide the fear
My worries from you
I’m alone
I stumble through the dark
Wondering who am I?
Want am I supposed to do?
When it’s dark
I want to scream
and hide from all the nightmares
Fear is crawling into my skin
I remember all the times you made me uncomfortable when you touched me and I tried to push you away
You haunt me I try to scream but nothing comes out
The tears coming down my face as I am terrified of it all
I am haunted by the dreams over and over
I just wish the rain would pour down on me and drowned me
Your heart is cold like the words you keep telling me
You keep haunting and coming back for me
I need to wake up from this continuing dream
My hands wrapped tightly in my blankets
Trapping me down
As I close my eyes I keep seeing you
I scream out but no one is here to listen
Your causing me pain
Will you go away
Leave me alone
When I try to sleep you’re there
So get the hell out of my head
Why can’t I hide from this
Let me escape this please
Baby please will you hold me
Will you take me away
Di Oct 2020
Here I am suffering in silence
Thoughts are attacking me in my head
People ask me how I am and I lie and say I’m fine
They call us antisocial
But they don’t see our struggles
They don’t see our thoughts
They don’t see the pain inside
It’s been years and we are still depressed
They say we’re just antisocial teenagers
That we only care for ourselves
But we’re ******* up
Anxiety got us in chains
Doubts got us in a trap
Fear has us in a cage
Depression got us by the throat
But there is still hope we just got to take our life’s back
Fear takes a hold of the steering wheel and drives me places
Takes me places I don’t want go to places that make me want to just give up
Sometimes I let doubt take over me and drives me places
Oh God help me
I can't take all this
on my own
I know you can save me
Di Nov 2020
I'm not crazy for talking to myself
Sometimes I'm the only person I have
When loneliness sinks in where is everyone?
Nowhere
Who do I have to talk to?
Myself
Di Aug 2021
You're the kind of person who will be on the phone with me in the silence and not feel like we need to talk.

You're the kind of person who will be there for me no matter what.

You're the kind of person I could see myself being with forever.
Di Jan 2021
Everyday I  battle against depression it whispers to me that I don't matter to anyone.

Anxiety tells me I'm just a burden to everyone.

My doubt  tells me to give up & that's I'm worthless.

My insecurity tells me I'm not beautiful.

My doubt tells me I will never be loved because I'm unlovable.

Depression makes me doubt & question if I should even be alive anymore.
My mind tells me I deserve to feel numb
Di Oct 2020
I lie and say I'm fine
But that's just a line
I make up reasons why I'm not alright
I wish I was ok tell me what does it feel to be ok
Tell me what does it feel to be happy
To really smile because all I know is fake smiles
Dead is all I feel if dead is a feeling
I have no feelings I've turned heartless at times
Tell me what's it like not feeling numb
Tell me what's it like to be normal
Tell me what's it like to control your own mind
Tell me what's it's like to fall asleep at peace

— The End —