The feelings I have for you
Are unlike any other I have had
We are two different people
Just wandering through

We live seperate lives
But I know we could make it work
Somewhere, somehow
I know we could be great

I do not know if you feel it
But I am hoping you do
I have never wanted to help someone
As much as I do with you

I can see you breaking
And I am in no place to help
I can only offer my time
And someone to talk too

I hope we meet again
Maybe next time it will be easy
It can be the right time
Whenever we choose

There are no more cute early morning texts
Or late nights over coffee
There is no more cuddling for hours
Or kissing as the sun rises

For the first time in a long time
You grabbed me and held me tight
You showered me with kisses
It is like you finally paid attention to me

Maybe you just know how I am feeling
That could of been it too
But I think you already lost me
It is time for something new

As one doorway in life opens
It seems that another door has to be closed,
I tried for a while to balance it out
But I know all too well how this part goes.

I will spend more time at work
Less and less time at home,
Days without talking to you
I am now all on my own.

The hardest part is leaving you
But I have to do this alone,
I need to do something good for myself
No more talks on the phone.

But they say home is where your heart is
And I can not picture you anywhere else,
But here next to me
Helping me out.

I love you to pieces
You were where my mind went,
Until my promotion
Now my time is spent.

I am so lost on what to do
To stay or to leave,
All I know is one thing
I need to focus on me.

I repeat myself over
To read your expression
Not to hear you say it back.

I watch as your eyes
Never fully meet mine
And I repeat until they do.

Sometimes it takes 10 times
Others it takes 2.

You whisper it in my ear
As we make sweet love
You send shivers down my spine.

Sometimes I question
Not if you don't mean it
But how you mean it.

Sometimes I leave in a rush
I fly down the highway
Always in a hurry to go somewhere
Do something, Be something
I stay out all night
Don't ever go home
No time for sleep
Always have to keep going

Sometimes I wake up and cry
I struggle to leave
I drive slowly
Tears down my face
Afraid that I'll return to nothing

How could I be so stupid
How could I not see
I've been too busy
Caught up in lifes' endeavours that
I forgot about who matters most to me

I'll write you a letter
Full of beautifully twisted words
You'll think it's with love
But really it's just hurt

I'll leave no word unspoken
Not a single pain to spare
Because really I'm quite broken
Not like you'd care

I hope my words hurt you
Like tiny sharp knives
Leaving you empty
Consuming you live

Maybe then you'll see
All the pain you've caused
I'll write you a letter
And **** you with words

As the days go by
And the year comes to a close
I look back and realize
Just how much has changed.
A year ago I stood with you
Shattered and ruined
Here I am finally ready
To leave you in this year.
Not only did I lose you
But I lost a dear friend
She'll also stay behind
Keep each other company.
I've been through different jobs
Emergency room twice
Permanent scars
To remind me of this year.

But lets talk about the positives
I figured myself out
I took the year to change
And it's finally working out.
I finally feel happy
At peace with myself
I met someone new
I learned what love really is.
I got closer to a friend
Who showed me what friendship is
Stopped drinking my feelings
Stopped eating them too.

The things that I lost
Don't bother me much
Because the things that I gained
Are much better, trust.