I keep trying,
Trying so hard only to fail.

I failed academics
I failed love
I failed life.

I keep trying,
Trying so hard only to break.

Breaking promises
Breaking hearts
Breaking us.

I keep trying,
Trying so hard to hold on.

Hold on to reality
Hold on to love
Hold on to life.

I keep Failing, Breaking, Falling
Holding onto broken pieces,
Cutting myself again and again.

Catchy phrases
Sketchy places
People passing through
The same tunnel
I sit in my bubble

Coursing through my veins
Not blood but sadness
An unknown substance
So bleak and strong
It cannot be tamed

I become less
Smoke in an empty shell
Down lower than sorrow
Embracing the pain
Weeping for tomorrow

I'm losing sight of the time,
Of the difference in life and fiction.
Losing days at my prime,
Nowhere near my prediction.
Confusing what I think
With the things I've been.
I can no longer see the shore,
No lights, a thick current, no oar.
I'm being swept away
Floating along with the forgotten.
You can feed me with food,
Smother me with love and attention.
But you can never find a teardrop
That has been lost in the ocean.

When I see your brooding face
A faint tint of sweat under your shirt
The hint of sleep lingering
Faking that I didn't remember you

Swearing I don't know you
Fingers crossed wishing it was true
Memories packed into forgotten boxes
Too dusty to unfold their rotting edges

Constant thoughts and dreams
Hidden truths of the past
Leaving a massacre in it's wake
A hurricane of forgotten things

For all that we have thrown away
A untended wound weeping pus
A river of red rubies
Coating the shiny linoleum floor

You can try to fix me,

I Dare you!

But there is nothing from the past
That you can undo,
There is nothing I can re-live
Or redo.

There is Nothing we can forget.

There are only the Flashbacks
Residual memories,
Fighting to get out despite
The torment.

Pain  ...   ...
                            
                            [fea­r]

  ||  A  ||  X  ||  I  ||  E  ||  T  ||  Y  ||



           ­                                     Loneliness...





¶¶¶ Depression

Replaying like a broken track
A warped Melody.

Once upon a time
When you were out drinking away,
Minutes of your life;
I was up in the horizon
In the skies where all hate disperses,
Dreaming of paradise
In the soft glow of candles,
Blown on a birthday.
Celebrated by one
When everyone is gone,
The cake half it's size
While I am too full and half gone.
I watched a girl
In the mirror,
Singing a birthday song for me.