I'm anxious to feel the hugs you promise me
I'm craving all the kisses you'll give me
But most of all, I want your company
The warm, caring, and full company of your personality
No matter how annoying you think you'll be, I'm still looking forward for us to live together
There may be some fighting, and there will be
And there may be some incidents, again, there will be
But what does that matter?
I'll still be looking forward to you even when I have you
*And the Sun will have kissed your face

Let go
Don't worry
Fix what you can **now.

I can't just lay here like you did not break my heart to pieces
I can't let these tears stream down my face like they mean nothing
I can't let these tears be the reward you get for breaking me
I can't let you know you ever had my heart to break or that you haunt my soul with the ghost you left behind of yourself
I can't let these tears fall
Can't let the reason this blood is falling be you
I will just act like I never loved you to keep the tears in and banish your ghost away every single day

If not at my worst, you can't get my best.

I haven't forgotten the words you have said to me
They rotate around my mind everyday
And they will never leave
They burned themselves deep in my subconscious always reminding me, doubting me, hitting and beating me down to the point when I don't know anymore
I don't know if I'll ever be enough for the world
And sometimes I ring those words as true, all the words you said to me ring true inside
*Never giving me piece of mind

I pray,
I find you.
Someday,
You'll be happy to meet me.

After taking her soul for granted you broke her completely
That is why her eyes look like that
That is why she never feels guilt, or love, or fear, or regret anymore
That is why she can't be fixed
That is why she feels pain in her heart every time it beats
And that is why she cries at night without knowing why
Her sorrow is almost too much for her to bear
But she never shows it
and at the same time she does
It's her eyes that shows it
And nothing else does
Because of you she is like this
That. Is. Why.

Three girls jumping rope
“One, two, someone's coming for you"
I couldn't help but listen to the old song I used to sing
“Three, four, never open up your door"
I never noticed it had an erriness to it
“Five, six, grab your-"
A piercing sound drums in my ear
Waking up the first thing my eyes see is an old horror movie on TV
“Opps, must have fell asleep."
Click

People don't like the smell of ****, so they get the hell away from it.

I should never trust you again
You wear two faces
And you wear two masks
I can't tell neither from the other
I don't know when you're real or when you're fake
But most of the time you're a faker
A bluffer
And a drama maker
And I don't want those things around me
But unfortunately I'm related to that thing for the rest of my life

The present is what keeps me here
The past doesn't have me anymore
And the future doesn't have me yet
Stop moping, moping over past regret
Just don't make those mistakes again
History is history for two reasons
To learn from it
And keep undisturbed seasons

Because of me
Your heart is broken
I'm your world
And the skies have taken a token

I'm a world of pain
I'm tattered all over
With poverty and rain

I wish a rainbow would come through
If only this thing could conclude

Because of me
I cannot love
I cannot relax
And I cannot be loved

I'm not willing
My heart is locked
And time will tell
As it ticks on that clock

Today's my birthday
Finally eighteen
I should be out having fun
Instead I'm here sulking
Over my ex who's dating a baby
But honestly,
That baby can have her
My ex isn't built to keep anything
That's her demise in her little game
But I know I don't love her, too many things about her I knew I couldn't take if the need was before me
She reminds me of my sisters exs excessively
Yeah she was different, but she was also too much the same

And to make this fair
I'll admit I know my own demise
I have slow ears and slow eyes
*****, I unknowingly sabotage
I ain't even gonna lie
I only see it later, after payment's due
Glad I don't **** with you
Cause payment has long been overdue

When will I ever be enough?
Do I have to starve and purge myself of everything?
Does my waist have to fit into your inches of perfection?
Does my hair have to fit into your length of shine?
Does my anything have to fit into your definition of perfect?
No. None of it does
In fact, if you don't like it it's not my fault or problem
*You don't have to look at me
And no one is making you

Blond hair and blue eyes
Smiling beautifully, and wonder, I
Love you like no other
Like another brother of mine
In heart
In soul
Both of ours seemed to crack
Causing an almost incurable pain
One of us got better
The other not
And we'll meet one day
And hug it out
We will both be happy I dream
We will both have the families that we've always dreamed
You'll marry a husband
And I'll be happy with the friends that became my new family
We'll both be happy living this life of love

You don't know how hard I've tried
Sorry to tell you this is my time to die
I apologize, that this is my last goodbye
Please understand I need to release what's inside
My funeral isn't the time to cry
Just let your past wishes and regrets fly
I may be in a better place,
And if I am there when you one day arrive
Don't be too shy
*To just say hi

You can only give people the power to betray you.

Family
A word that's supposed to mean everything
But it also means nothing
To me, the definition is
Broken promises, and held back tears of disappointment
Fake tugs around the waist and meaningless I love you's with kisses on both sides of the surface
Silently getting kicked in the face with the “harmless" words they had to say
Softly getting praise, only to be back handed harshly after time and place
Family is my biggest disgrace
They have lied to my face
Disrespected me and my name

I can never again fall from grace
Because of all the scarring they left on my face

In times like these I am sure of few things
And one is,
I don't even know what to say.
Every word is a price to pay.

Not only is it a disease that destroys your body
*It destroys your heart and soul as well

You know,
I lose things fast.
So I'll enjoy it,
Enjoy it while it lasts.

You're so mesmerizing
I couldn't ever believe that you were ever lying

I find happiness in need
I find want in greed
On your last limb, you leaned
Sorry for the mistakes you didn't mean
This blood never washes away clean
Cause each month there comes more, with a force so keen
It's volcanic,
I can only stare and panic
People running like they're manic
Scene's in front of me, galvanic
It'll be bigger than the sinking of the Titanic
It's too much to brace, too gigantic
Think about matters that don't matter
*Earth is on a fiery platter

“Fire doesn't purify, it blackens."*

-Silent Hill

The sky is blue
But the concrete is black
I'm conditioned to look down
And think of all that I lack
The sky is purple
The sidewalk is grey
Everyday,
Everyday I'm okay
The stars are bright
They have fuel to shine in darkness
Can't I just experience a time of rightness

The biggest, yet shortest question
And most difficult to explain
Unless you plain old don't give a **** and that's your answer.

I met a guy by the riverside and I was in Denile
He made me laugh he even kept my smile
He made my heart thump when he touched me twice
He stole my love when he read me his favorite book
He stole my heart when he made his first real poem deticated to me, and he confessed all his feelings
Our souls slowly became attached to each other as we got to know each other
And I realized,
His soft gentleness is slowly conquering my insides
By turning my ******* into marshmellos and daisies
I'm not even sure if I agreed to this
If I even wanted this
It's confusing to know what I want, I want him, and I don't feel the same with him
He changed me
Forever he
No, forever we
Are bound together in time

I'm only a human being looking for some meaning
And I'm only empty to be filled.

Diamonds, emeralds, silver, and gold
Are only valuable because it's shiny and what humanity was told
If those things were dull and light
People wouldn't want them, *right?

Sometimes I wonder why it took you so long
But then I remembered you said you were slow
And the things you've been saying lately, oh they're humorlessly funny, but so **** confusing
You say one thing, then turn around and say you mean the other

But,
         I'm the fake one?

I'll mull that thought over over afternoon tea
***** will lose everything
Breath,
Breath,
*Heartbeat.

Push me down till my knees bleed
Bend me over till my back breaks
Crush me till my bones turn to dust
Wait till dawn to release me over the mountain's breath of anguish
You got your wish, you tortured me to death
Are you happy now with your decision?
Of course you aren't
You're already onto your next victim

Don't promise the world before you know whether or not they are your world
Otherwise you'll be out there breaking hearts

On the street
And on the corner
You'll be like a ******,
*...only ******* with people's hearts

People have storms that come and go
But I'm not everyone
My storm is it's own person
It promised to never leave me
And it's raining, thundering, blowing hard in my chest
Maybe even snowing too
We'll see it in the whether forcast tonight in my dreams
It always seems to hurt more at the worst time

You have very strong points
They even sliced me
But then again
There's still two sides of a story

When the ice is thick
And when the ice is thin
I will be walking that ocean again

"Everyone wants to attach labels. Heaven forbid we actually love and live as we please."

I've been abused by poverty
And a mother whose lips have a velvet tongue of lies and unfulfilled promises.

My mind keeps winding me down with a million thoughts
And shutting me down with Hulk-like emotions
              How do you give away a million things that wants to stay?
They've been trying me everyday,
    that's if you wanted the truth
But,
There's something about water that now makes me more serene than anything

*I gotta thank the fire for water.

Kinks and coils
I love my curls
I even love my gurls
My blood stays on boil

My bones ain't noodles
So I need to cool down
And slowly take away this frown
I'm going to distract myself with words and doodles

Sometimes I loath you
But then I still care about you
I still trace the remembrance of clues
Sometimes you get in the way of you

I am not the imperfections of my skin
I am not the imperfections of my mind
I'm clueless about mankind
Won't let anyone back in

People say the hateful and ungrateful don't deserve anything.
That the too insecure deserves no love.
And, yes,
They make strong points on why they don't deserve anything.

But in the end, even though I know they're right
I still get the still human feeling.

I'm complicated
That's why I like things plain and simple.

I just can't blame and go
I have to look at me and finally know

No one wants to see the bad, and yet that's the only thing that's shown

I like to keep my words exact
Don't mouth off lousy "facts"
Thought you had my back
But you were only behind me for advantage
My mind has been so hard to manage
I don't wish to be like the others on this planet
The thing is I hate the past, the present, the future
The aspects of time puts my mind through infinite torture
My poor choices changes my architecture structure

Struck a nerve, pinned the needle
Imagination needs treatment, for his illness is mental
But I could not send him to the hospital
His *** is running at the speed of light
He should've skipped that and took off in flight
But, I don't need to be at those heights
If I was that high I'd probably hurl
Can't blame a girl for saving her curls
But in this water I will swirl
To the bottom to enjoy being so close to this world

Wonder why I'm here
Am I here again?
Why can't I leave,
Just like the wind?