I forgot flowers, so I laid down my guns
as a peace offering.
I walked to your side
shrouded in black
Dismal
Destitute
Dismantled
Disheveled

I shoveled the dirt to the side myself
After all,
I was the murderer
I was the maniacal mastermind
Always pacing
Mind always racing
Thumbs always flitting

Some of mine is mine to keep
but I'm really bad at that
so I decided to keep it all
inside myself

Beside myself with loneliness
for quite some time
I decided to dig you up again
Nothing changed
Your opinions still flared
Your pictures still dared
my eyes to glimpse

I found myself void of expression
with the exception of a curled upper lip
Suspended in disbelief
Saturated in thoughtlessness again
Not again
Never again I promised

So I scratched and clawed the surface
Handful
after
handful of earth flung feverishly
behind me until I needed a ladder to climb out

I pushed you back into your hole
The whole of you lie there together
The hole in me didn't close
but your body would rot soon
and all I had to do was keep walking
and leave the corpse behind
as I spent the next few weeks
Clearing my mind
Alone
Secret
Broken
Woken by reality

I never stopped thinking though
I can't
I won't
But I will bury you forever,
and I will grow
and maybe you'll all grow with me.

"I'm fine."
"And you?"
It's my standard answer

The truth lies inside
Hidden away

No need for you to look
For the answers
I never find

Let's have tea
Or dinner
And pretend
All is well

Because sometimes forgetting
(Just for a while)
Reminds me of a normal
I seldom remember

The remains of a smile in the heart of mine,
Like a strand of poignancy drifting into the abyss of my memories.
The wound gone the scar remains,
The scar of the imprinted smile.
The secret of my sorrow is a fading smile,
Which fades each moment.
A smile so loved, betrayed.
A smile so bleak, yet so precious.
Such a worthy possession, with an inflicted mortality.
That smile whispers into my mind each moment.
That warm smile has stricken me so coldly, leaving me numb.
Her last smile,
I embraced in my arms wondering what it meant.
Too naive to understand that the smile was her Goodbye .

let not your hope ever fall down
nor wear a frown
keep it growing
strong in showing

uplifting the spirits very well
with a cheery bell
it is sanguine
saying all's fine

so employ my upbeat message
for your usage
stay bright of tone
a buoyant zone