Silly boy
Broke my heart

Hes a toy
Been from the start

But we got this way
And its all jumbled

Seems my hearts to pay
For this fumble

What is the meaning to walk, to wail the way
I hold dear to me what’s not and shame what’s what
No meaning, for meaning is meaningless, just as meaningless is meaningless
But what if purpose?
Is meaning purpose?
Most do not think this; though I do
Those words are similar, but not same
I walk, cry, think, live suffer for you

For you are purpose.

The marks and bruises on my body
daddy says don't show
His voice in my head
screaming  "don't tell"
Daddy says it's okay to be a *****
He says it's okay to earn what you eat
But then why do I feel filthy everynight after he is done?
Why can't I wash the filth away?
Is daddy doing something wrong
or is it just me?
Forget me
iam just being paranoid
Daddy is never wrong.

"I'm fine"
I say
    "Im okay"
    I say
         " Its not important"
          I say
               " I'm not special"
                  I say
"Are you sure?"
They say
     "Do you wanna talk?"
     They say
           "It matters"
            They say
                " You matter"
                    They say...
Please don't don't try and read between lines
Please ignore the cries that slip from my lips
I always say that im fine but really I'm fighting a war inside my mind.
Not Just with myself
But with my friends
My past
       Oh those midnight cries.
"Your over reacting" they start to say
       "People go through worse, your just having a bad day."
How much do i have to try and say its constant?
That I'm not happy just existing.
     And even then i sometimes wish life wasnt a real thing.
               You all built me up
                You all made me happy
               But when it got hard
               They left and my world
Went.    C.    
                    R.    
                            A.  
                                   S.            
                                           H.
                                                  I.
                                                         N.
                                                                 G
Down.
They complain how you never ask for help
But not when your help decides not to help
           Is it too much to ask you to save me?
          Not from people but my brain, its the enemy.
       Please
            Help me
                  Before its
                         Too late
I dont know how much i can cope
With all the false hope
Hanging on to the rope
Sometimes its easier to just let go
My brain is starting to crack me
And when i let go i know no one will catch me
No, they'd rather sit back or stand
Than get depressed teenage blood on their hands.
   My fingers are slipping
     Dont know how much longer I'll last
Just waking up is even a task
I want to sleep
A deep sleep.
Never wake up. Lots of dreams
Im stuck in the grey, and its not what they say.
Help me escape.
Its almost too late.

You told me today,
That you wanted to die.
I could tell in your voice,
That it wasn’t a lie.

I never noticed till now,
Of how you fidgeted more.
I never noticed till now,
Of the sweaters you now wore.

But I did noticed now,
How your skin seemed pailer,
How your eyes darker.
Have you been eating?
Have you even been sleeping?

But when you told me,
I finally saw.
The darkness that surrounds you.
When did you start to fall?

Why didn’t I noticed,
That your smile missed your eyes.
Why didn’t I noticed,
That your voice told such lies.

If I had noticed sooner,
Would this had ever happened.
If I had noticed sooner,
Would you had never saddened.

I screamed for you,
Wanting it to not be true,
I cried for you,
Though I didn’t have a clue.

I waited for you,
For you to react,
But the mirror stayed still,
My image intact.

i can see you in the stains on my glasses.