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  Oct 2015 Cody Al
Skypath
She
Extra lessons after school
Explaining how you are not yourself
Such small words used so simply
Cut like knives through your chest
'She'

Paraphrasing arguments
Summarizing discipline
Faceless family with too much on their own plate to understand
Why you don't like what's on yours
'She'

Tightness in your chest not because your binding is too small
But because it isn't
The name of a state has never hurt so much
'She'

You look in the mirror and grimace
Shower so fast you don't have to see yourself
Roll their words in your mind until you're leaning over the toilet
'She'

Humming summer days fade into early autumn nights
Long days enforce what they have already told you
Dress code laws repeated by tongue
And hasty dressing in changing rooms
Hoping they won't notice you
'She'

But you are an active volcano
There are wolves in your chest and lions in your brain
And they can't change you
You get home and look in the mirror and sign into skype
A simple word that only drops one letter
Has never had so much power

He.
  Oct 2015 Cody Al
Leo-chan
Day by day I wonder what it would have been like if I came out more girly and more of what my family expected and how life would be so much easier that way. But yet I wasn't, I grieve everyday because in my mind I know what I want to be and I know who I want to be but reality has won the war so far by making my appearance say other wise. Its not easy. I try to tell myself "Do it. They'll still love you" or "if they can except me as gay they can except me as transgender" but deep down I feel so bad for my family.  I know they're just waiting for me to say " just kidding" but I'm not. I want to leave and never come back so I won't hurt my family, but its so hard knowing they need you. But its not the real me.
Cody Al Oct 2015
This isn't fair!
Don't you try to blame this on me!
my love for you was bulletproof but your the one who shot me!
and ******* it!
i can barely breath
this fricking binder is possibly killing me
but it really helps me look even more like a man
and don't you even know
my name is Cody
and I won't respond to anything else
I'll keep saying that I am male
no matter what you say
I'll scream it at the top of my lungs
this is going by the song bulletproof by pierce the veil
  Oct 2015 Cody Al
Athena
Build.
I was told that woman are made to build.
But wait...
What if I told you that my gender identity was as messy as raindrops as they hit the ground?
What if the only thing I can build are stanzas in some wanna be poem.

Yes, I do have a ****** but I bind my ******* so tightly I cannot tell the difference between breathing,
And a panic attack.

I am not a woman.
I am not the type.
I am your type.

When I am asked what I would like to be when I grow up,
Isn't it sad that that the first thought that occupies my mind is,
"I want to be a man.."

My mother pushed out her precious baby girl and keep in mind I had a brother.
Have a brother.
*** and gender are two completely different things, darling.

When someone asks what I want to be when I get older,
I will say a carpenter.
Because at least then I can build myself to be a man.
From the ground up.

But for now I will have to settle for pecks made out of metaphors,
And the thought of a ***** as long as my lyrics.
Would you still love me if I was a man?
If not,
Then have fun choking on my poetry.
  Oct 2015 Cody Al
LjMark
At first you feel you're really free
Showing off the real you for all to see
Step back world because here you come
Head held high, let's have some fun.

Then slowly those friends who wished you well
Didn't notice or see you when you fell
You search for others but no such luck
You start feeling alone and things begin to ****

It gets harder to go out and face the world
Your life slows down from that initial swirl
All those places you longed to roam
Are lost in the reality that it's easier to stay home

Your world gets smaller each time you stay home
Smaller............
........smaller.....
.............smalle­r
Until it and you are all but gone
Poem about being Transgender.
  Oct 2015 Cody Al
Graff1980
You will never know
The peace of acceptance
Once you are finished
Put to earth
Life was harsher than the dirt
Parents made you feel worthless
Cause you wanted to wear a short dress
Because you felt different
Cut off
Disowned
Disavowed
One friend after another disappears
And no one hears
The sobs
No one feels the salty tears
No one holds your hands
Or offers you a hug

You were ******
By the those who demand
You conform
Where there was no  warmth
The clock cuts you bitterly
Condemning you to be lonely
And I cry all the more
Knowing you won’t be the only one
Not the only daughter wanting to be a son
Not the only male that wants to be female
Not the only soft face harden
Or hard face softened till the sorrow overflows
Till everyone you know closes the door
And you disappear forever more
I wrote this in December.
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