Bummer

Bummer May 2019

ouch

One of the most unbearable pains is needing to cry but never being able to.

#sad #cry #hate #fear

Bummer May 2019

Sometimes,
i think i need a therapist
i think i need to stop taking Adderall
i think i don't deserve my friends
i think i'll never make it
i think i need to relax
i think everyone around me just wants me to smile
i think i just want people to want me to cry
i think my parents don't want anything i want
i dunno
it's wack
that's life i guess

i'm probably just havin a weird day

#idunno

Bummer May 2019

The Saint of the Sinners

When a bullet isn't between my lips, words of hatred often are.
I beg for love and steal from God and set bridges up in flames.

I hide knifes in drawers and backs and I keep secrets safe from harm.
Without a purpose I loathe so beautifully, without a love I'm so alone.

I keep a razor in my wallet, next to the photograph of you and me.
I sing songs of wanting to change, but I've been living in my hell for years.

I paint words of fear so easily but I can't seem to grip onto bravery,
I wish so badly to feel others pain, but I can't ******* cope with my own.

I am the King of the Cowards.
I am the Leader of the Loners.
I an the Prophet of the Pained.
I am the Saint of the Sinners.

#sin #sinner #saint #hate #love #fear #sadness #pain

Bummer May 2019

Said the Failure to his love

There are ghosts in the walls of this place so you should keep your distance.
There are pains that never leave the heart and I fear that you may catch some.
There is beauty deep within my bones, and I fear that nobody will ever see it.
There is a part of me that wants to never get up after falling over my failures.

#failure #love #pain #fear #ghosts #beauty

Bummer May 2019

A broken jar

Does it ever bother you that pictures can be lies,
how a smile can be faked and nobody will ever realize.
The photos of you that I hang on my walls are starting to feel distant,
I hear a pain in your voice, as if you could break in an instant.

And it's a whole lot easier to burn a picture than it is to burn a memory,
And I was kinda hoping that we would never reach this treachery,
And you're falling under quickly and I can't do a ******* thing,
And I'm writing songs to cope but I don't have the guts to sing.

I think you're better off away from me.
I think you're better off alone.

#broken #jar #pictures #lies #alone #burn #fear #love #hate #sad

May 2019

Lost in my Head

Imagination

I sit and wonder
Why you acted like you cared at all
I guess i discovered
You can't accept it when I fall

I don't know what I did to you

But it's done
And we're done

I imagine you thinking of me
but then it just corrupts
I was hoping that you'd rid my misery
and your pain just interrupts

#done #memories #cared #pain #hurt #why #betrayal

Bummer May 2019

I want you to smile

I want to feel the pain I see in your eyes.
I want to know what bullets feel like.
I want to memorize every little thing that breaks you.
I want to see the monsters in your head.
I want to rip your pain out from your chest.
I want to hide you in my arms.
I want to strangle your demons and make you whole.
I want to be your reason for smiling.

#want #smile #sad #love