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  Mar 2018 Benji James
KL Ostrowski
At least it lasted a while.
The love, the trust, or lust...
Head high, chin up, for once...
Seems like I'm living among disappointment these days.
Actually, it was here.
before you came...
Yes, way before you came.
What a shame.
How can I trust a man...
When my own father ran?
(Slightly Laughing)
When in every situation,
**** seems to hit the fan?

Went from his excuse to physical abuse...
Seeking a mans love at any expense
Just to amuse... you.

(Yelling)
Because I don't see nobody else applauding!
You're appalling.
Slightly more than an alcoholic at mind
Who's to blame for the lack of communication
The stalling...

Now I have 3 daughters
2 crawling
1 calling...
To a man that's never consistent.
There is distance.
Then they turn to me for relief,
Because it is me... yeah me.
That picks them up from falling.
Consistently.
"The key is consistency."
Wise words from the woman
That didn't birth me,
But didn't desert me...
Never turned her back,
Never hurt me...

(Crying)
& Now I am hurting...
Because anybody I've ever loved
Is either dead or they hurt me.

(Breaking down)
Why is it me that's so deserving?
  Mar 2018 Benji James
AJ Simmons
This cloudy morn of murk,
Where on my tongue I taste dirt,
I should wallow in grey plumes, sir,
But I glide by this dank flirt,

On lady nature lay cobbled stone,
Without shoes we’d feel at home,
But this spring one looks to be known,
In diamond vestments is how we ‘grow’,

As my glide comes to a stop,
And I lay rest in this earthy shop,
Sipping elixirs of generations crops,
I breath I taste tip top,

Chakra advocate with stature,
I see you too truth catcher,
Without shoes, tongue out plan hatcher,
The dew fills your pallet, oh catch her.
Coffee does funny things.
  Mar 2018 Benji James
Star BG
Captured in a lucid dream I am,
moving in a place where
reality tickles senses.

Am I awake? Am I asleep?
Senses say, I am in full awaken state.
Say, I’m moving in graceful style,
inside the gentle breeze.

Captured in visions grand I am
where there are no prisoners
but just souls interacting with grace.

Am I awake? Am I in subconscious state?
Energies of light center to give me serenity.
They echo,
"I am awake."
Inspired by Benji James Thanks
Benji James Mar 2018
The secrets you shared
Opened my eyes real wide
Had to take the burdens
That you bared
Couldn’t let them lead you to death
I ****** out the poisons
Plaguing your mind
I wasn’t about to sit on the sidelines
I’m a fighter
Takes a lot to knock me down
It’s gonna take a lot more to take me out

Demons
Hunt me down
All of the darkness
I took that from you
Now I’m wanted
Demons
Hunt me down
I’m not one to be outgunned
in a fight
This time around hells wrath
may have me bested
In its fury
Demons
Hunt me down
I’ll do what I have to, to stand my ground

Once purified
Now drowning in darkness
Opened eyes
Fill these abandoned woods
Everywhere I turn spirits haunt me
I’m not scared, I’m not afraid
It was in this place
My life was made
There’s comfort here
And I’m alright
I don’t second guess
The decision I made
Alone with the ghosts
You gave to me
I told you I’d take them from you baby

Demons
Hunt me down
All of the darkness
I took that from you
Now I’m wanted
Demons
Hunt me down
I’m not one to be outgunned
in a fight
This time around hells wrath
may have me bested
In its fury
Demons
Hunt me down
I’ll do what I have to, to stand my ground

Heaven shut me out
Long ago
I’m just another abandoned soul
I’ll walk these deserts for the rest of time
Taunted by the nightmares that kept you awake all night
I hope you sleep peacefully in dreams
You deserve the best baby
I’m the one who took your pain
Made it my own
Cuz I could not watch it hurt you, no more
I’ll fight for you forever
Your angel in the darkness
I’ll fight until the end
Until my wings are ripped from my back
Until my eyes run black

Demons
Hunt me down
All of the darkness
I took that from you
Now I’m wanted
Demons
Hunt me down
I’m not one to be outgunned
in a fight
This time around hells wrath
may have me bested
In its fury
Demons
Hunt me down
I’ll do what I have to, to stand my ground

©2018 Written By Benji James
Benji James Mar 2018
You told me somewhere out there
Is my other half
Even though you were the one I loved
Yeah you lied, left me in despair
Now my heart is beyond repair
Not a day goes by I don’t think about how
I should have made more moves with you
Regretting all these things,
that is what I’m used to
All I wanted was for you to be mine
But that’s not what life had in mind

You told me that I’d find the one
Yeah you lied, you were wrong
I’m never gonna find anyone
You told me I’d find love
You told me one day a girl
Would give me her all
Should have known better
Fell for those lines before
Yeah you lied
Left me shattered across the floor
I don’t even care about feeling anymore

I’m sick and sore
Bodies aching
Suppressed my cravings
Every time I gazed upon you
You were ****** desire
Deep within the flames burn higher
Extinguished my lust
With your words
Left me feeling broken and hurt
Rejection left me depressed
And I couldn’t find a vibe
To breathe in new life
My wires were cut
Left for dead
A rusting tin man

You told me that I’d find the one
Yeah you lied, you were wrong
I’m never gonna find anyone
You told me I’d find love
You told me one day a girl
Would give me her all
Should have known better
Fell for those lines before
Yeah you lied
Left me shattered across the floor
I don’t even care about feeling anymore

All I wanted was to find a future with us
It seems you had other ideas and gave up
All I got left was a box of empty promises
A whole lot of lessons
I wish I didn’t have to learn
I’m laying in the dark
Images play upon the roof
In all the ways that I remember you
The taste of your kiss
The feel of your lips
Tracing the lines in your hands
Playing with every strand of your hair
Every touch placed upon your body
I remember every breath you took
I remember all the ways
You left me shook

You told me that I’d find the one
Yeah you lied, you were wrong
I’m never gonna find anyone
You told me I’d find love
You told me one day a girl
Would give me her all
Should have known better
Fell for those lines before
Yeah you lied
Left me shattered across the floor
I don’t even care about feeling anymore

©2018 Written By Benji James
Benji James Mar 2018
Back on my high horse
Preaching, teaching
information, education
How to be a better creation
Of your own making
If I fall off my pedestal
I'll surely die
because I'm up so high
Stop trying to knock my know-nothings
Filling the air with empty words
They only fall on deaf ears
Inspirational quotes
Shared on virtual screens
You get lost somewhere in between

©2018 Written By Benji James
Benji James Mar 2018
Can't keep up with these kids
Outrun, outclassed
Left flat on my ***
Trying to reach a new level
Making bargains with a devil
Got left in the dirt
Feelings hurt
That's why I sold my soul
Soulless, No emotions
Now try to read my cards
Opinions inflicted wounds
Labels covered me
Until I washed them clean
Now I won't let anybody place me in a box
I'm cunning, You can call me Mr Fox
Cuz I'm unique, Individuality, Totally me
May never be on top
But I am everything else that you're not.

©2018 Written By Benji James
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