Truth is still absolute.
Believe that.
Even when that truth is hard and cold, and more painful than you've ever imagined.
And even when truth is more cruel than any lie.

What happened to us?
I don't know who I am anymore...
Or how I got here...
I miss who I use to be...
I wanna have a home again...
You know?
With..
Real friends...
The kind of friends you use to believe in...
I miss that...
And I miss you...

I guess I just miss all of it...

Why are some days harder than others.
Why is it that today of all days it got a little harder?
Why of all days did I think about you and cry a little harder?

Maybe it's because I finally see you for who you really are.
Maybe its because I finally realize everything you said, did and felt was an out right absolute lie.
Maybe its because I finally realized no matter what moments we had shared together and no matter how special I thought they were...they actually weren't...

If you asked me what killed me more... I wouldn't have an answer.

How the **** do you tell yourself it wasen't real?
How do you tell your heart..
It was all a lie?
The love was all just onesided?
How do you tell yourself you have to forget?
You have to move on?
That even though your heart might be breaking....
His isn't...


Love has cursed me...
And so have you.

I'm glad you can walk this earth without feeling anything.
Never loving anyone.
Never feeling the excruciating pain of a broken heart.
The kind that  paralyzes you.
The kind that leaves a permanent mark on your heart.

I ******* hate it.

How I hate the word passion.
Everything it is...
It's awful sting...

It is the source of our finest moments.
The joy.
The love.
The clarity of hatred.
The ecstacy of grief.

Sometimes it hurts more than you can bear.
If I,
If we,
Could live without passion,
Maybe then we'd know some kind of peace...

But then again..
Without passion
I'd be..
We'd be..
Hollow empty shells..
Vacant empty rooms..
Locked away with nothingness.
Dark and dank...


Without passion...
I'd be...
We'd be..
Truly dead....


But then again..
Maybe I already am..

All you ever wanted was a free ride.
I see that now...
All I ever wanted was your love.
You gave it all away to start a new life.
I guess what I could give wasn't enough.


You left me cold....

When I think of you.

That song about mercy comes to mind.

I wish you had given me some.

Albert Camus once wrote, “Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken.”
But I wonder if there’s no breaking then there’s no healing, and if there’s no healing then there’s no learning. And if there’s no learning then there’s no struggle. But the struggle is a part of life. So must all hearts be broken?
Could I avoid it.. At all costs?