my fingers never warm up
and you joked about how
cold my heart is,
it must be so cold in there
so I asked if that's the way
you deflect--because every
time I tried to care for you,
you'd mock me.

I felt like your world
wasn't all inclusive
i wasn't a shiny stone
in your rough, just a
***** in a fenced
garden, a breeze in
your wild storm--
but I found what
usually is at the
heart of a tornado--
eery silence--and you.
stripped down and
angry, a self-made victim
shouting you made me do it.

But was I there, Peter Pan?
Did I make you do it?
did I weasel into your
head and take you
hostage? Did I rip
you away from
Neverland, shed
light on what
was never
magic?

Thanks for bringing back
the smile on my face
the music in my laughter
the sun in my world
the stars in my sky
the love in my heart
Thanks for bringing me back to life.

Keep your distance,
Don’t get too close.
Enjoy the pure unfiltered happiness.

Soak it in from around the bend,
And imagine once more to begin again.
With someone new…

So many eyes, so few to see,
The future as it unfolds before you.
The want, the yearning,
The most basic human need.

Close your eyes, but do not blink.
Imagine yourself already there,
Yourself within in which you think.  

This scene you see,
Couldn’t possibly be,
Someone else’s life passing before your eyes?
Or potentially your life just passing you by?

Calmly, slowly, most beautifully.
Are you to be sight within this scene?
  
Eventually your eyelids blink,
Though rare enough for anyone.
A wink and smile just might be seen.

When I saw you I knew,
I belonged in your scene.

I catch you sitting at the diner counter again at 2am, the fourth day in a row. The waitress comes over and hands you a black coffee. I stare, but you don’t turn around and catch me looking. You’re glaring into the mug, like somehow you’ll drown in the warm murky mix. Like somehow if you keep looking your problems will dissipate into the rising steam. Like somehow it’s the answer you’ve been searching for since you were born. You wanted an answer. Something that would make everything come full circle. It’s been years of you driving down an endless highway, passing every exit because you don’t know how to stay in one place. Even ghost towns won’t harbor something so deeply damaged. A person who can only pull the emergency break when they’re afraid they might crash. Crash into what? Not everything walking by you is a catastrophe.  Accidents only occur when you forget to pay attention. Just like how you forgot that your side door mirrors were broken. Those objects are not closer than they appear. You tried to slow down but they only seemed further away. Everything you’re trying to hold on to is slipping through your hands the way sand falls through the hourglass. Tick tock. Did you forget that people need affection if you want them to stay? They are not dolls you can glass-case until you feel like playing with them again. Not everybody enjoys being a toy. How long has it been since someone sat in the passenger seat? The car rides must be lonely when there’s no one around to fill the silence. You can blast the radio as loud as you want to but that won’t block out the hollow feeling in your chest. The one that sits where your heart is supposed to be. Something that music can’t fill. Your mother once told you that history repeats itself but did she mention that only happens when you refuse to change the scenery? If you always stay on the same road you’re never going to snap out of it. Break the curse. Realize that love is sitting at the base of every exit if you weren’t so scared of swerving into oncoming traffic. The only head-on collision that’s going to happen is when you grow too tired of driving alone that you forget to keep your eyes on the road. When you realize you placed yourself in your own hell and your breaks finally give out. When you fall asleep at the wheel and never wake up because you were terrified of letting somebody else steer.