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Jun 2019 · 223
My Compass
Autumn Joy Jun 2019
In my parents home
dark figures moved about
in empty hurt and pain
however
bodies of Light surround me now
replacing shadow with bright
they brought me change
Aug 2018 · 205
Untitled
Autumn Joy Aug 2018
The music that those hands can make..
Mar 2018 · 143
What the hell do I do
Autumn Joy Mar 2018
in the wake of me
trying to be free
i set my own trap
and now i have to deal with my own crap

in the stirring of my soul
i pushed my limits to far
because now i don’t feel beautiful
but much more like a beat up car
i really need to take my own advice sometimes because i keep going way too far
Mar 2018 · 155
Burning out
Autumn Joy Mar 2018
our love is like a rope burning at both ends
it is short
it is dangerous
it is bound to disappear
Jan 2018 · 232
Artists
Autumn Joy Jan 2018
i want to create a picture
not with my words
but how one normally
paints a ******* picture

it would be so cool
to be able to use a brush
or a pen or any tool actually
but i cannot ******* do it

so i will create a scene
with my writing to show
what i feel and how i see
because i may not be an artist

but i am poet
i feel so limited with what i can actually accomplish in the fine arts and that’s okay i guess i just have to keep going
Jan 2018 · 149
in waiting.
Autumn Joy Jan 2018
he hurt her.
he hurt her deeply.
she can grow past this
she can repair nearly completely

but he hurt her too
the small one who
does not understand and still hurts
he will never be forgiven
Aug 2017 · 537
Stormy night
Autumn Joy Aug 2017
we both know
that we both get anxious
so I text you
right when you text me

neither of us can sleep
worry is all we do
lack of sleep makes us delirious
but thoughts of you in my mind glow
y'all i'm really in love with my boyfriend we are dorks
Aug 2017 · 404
A long List of Ifs
Autumn Joy Aug 2017
If you understood
all the feelings someone had
when someone passed
or when someone left

If you understood
someone's reason to keep going
when pain and doubt
crushed their every waking thought

If you understood
that you would never understand
maybe they'd have more comfort
maybe you would have been a better man

If you had kept trying
I'm sure you would have gotten there
to where you would understand
not every thing is for you to understand

If you understood
If you understood
If you understood
If you had kept trying
If you hadn't given up
If you were still here
If you knew what you would never know


If you understood
Aug 2017 · 277
Day vs Night
Autumn Joy Aug 2017
Today
today I struggled with old feelings
I saw what I use to want
although with me,
was want I want now

so

Tonight
tonight I struggle with mixed emotion
between the then and the now
I will choose the now
but I can never forget the then
Jun 2017 · 180
always:never
Autumn Joy Jun 2017
you will never complete me
but you will always be part of me
::then:now
Jun 2017 · 173
dam k.n.
Autumn Joy Jun 2017
I've finally felt
what it's like to not be alone

i've felt what it is
to have someone to hold

to feel someone's breaths
resonate with my own

a feeling like this
i'd never let go
Jun 2017 · 353
Graduate
Autumn Joy Jun 2017
i'm scared
i'm scared because i just graduated
i'm worried
i'm worried because i don't know anything

i'm excited
i'm excited because i can be my own me
i'm happy
i'm happy because soon i'll be moving away

and i'm scared again
i'm really scared
no one told me how to be an adult
i guess no one gets told
but
what do i do with myself now

work is unfulfilling
school too expensive
career unlikely
money too low
depression creeping in
anxiety levels rising
breaths shortening
that brings us up to where i am right now. i still can't manage to be calm longer than one second. everything's cool
Jun 2017 · 853
new
Autumn Joy Jun 2017
new
It's okay you don't like me
it's okay because
I like someone else now
it's not a different boy
it's me.
Autumn Joy May 2017
tonight I got to see him
oh, he was beautiful
his hair curved to shape his face
his smile perfectly placed

we laughed and smiled
we giggled and danced
all i wanted was to give a kiss
but his heart was a target I've already missed

the night was young and peaceful
happiness floating away into the darkness
he was happy there with me
but with another was where he wanted to be
a lot of my poems are about this boy lately and i'm sorry for that but i've just been so infatuated and i adore most everything about him
May 2017 · 213
Should Sadness be a Sport
Autumn Joy May 2017
If sadness were a sport
an athlete I would be.
If running marathons
compared to running water
I might even be winning

If sadness were a sport
my parents might take pride in me
If instead of feet we counted yawns
my intense fatigue would be no bother
an olympian of depression I seem to be
May 2017 · 292
Don't touch her
Autumn Joy May 2017
You.
You should not have
touched
my
best friend

Hope.
Hope that you can
outrun
the
karma coming your way
******* for ever touching her
May 2017 · 250
I'm tired
Autumn Joy May 2017
why am i depressed
it is not like i'm unfortunate

why do i cause my own suffering
it is not like i have it bad

why am i like this
it is not easy to want to stick around
May 2017 · 191
Someone Else's Poem
Autumn Joy May 2017
i was told
to write poems that rhyme
so i sit here trying to mold
myself to what they want to find

and as you may
notice i am not very good
at that, leaving me in dismay
i still try to do what i should

sorry I am not what you
want
i really try to do
it but i will never get it right
i wish my art was only for me but i want others to enjoy it
May 2017 · 370
What to do
Autumn Joy May 2017
all i can do
is offer my help
though it's often rejected

i'm a friend
even if
i want to be more
May 2017 · 191
Crush-ed
Autumn Joy May 2017
I know the girl he likes and
she knows me,
I think.
She can paint and draw and sing
but i'm really only me

She's got a nice home
a nice family
a lot of nice things
but most importantly
she has him

at her beck and call,
he goes
I want to warn him
let him know
she's not the niceness she posses

she says she loves him
he believes her
she says she wants to be with him
he thinks it's true
who am i to intervene

he wants to be with her
she doesn't want to be alone
there's a difference there
he wants to love her
she wants company

one day
I'll have the courage
to say the things I want him to know
but until then, he'll wait
and she'll take
May 2017 · 204
He's a Song
Autumn Joy May 2017
there's music in every breath he takes,
he's steps in-time with his heartbeat.
soft yet excited
his eyes, shimmering somewhat like a star

I reach out to him
but so does she
and her heart matches
the small skipped beats in his laugh

in music theory I learned most things
they come in thirds
well I'm on my second chance at life
this is his second at love

does this mean that
just once more
we both have to break
to possibly look at each other

the way they see each other
but instead of her
I could be the one looking into
the shinning night skies with him

— The End —