And now I must dissect the past
And seperate every part
Every wrong decision
And every broken heart
Regrets I'll place off to the left
Unheard "I love you's" have their place
Useless dreams..they go on the right
By the memories of your face
Wasted years and loneliness
They will all go in a stack
Right beside all my love for you
Love that you never gave me back.

A boy with spring lurking at every footstep he walked
Met a girl humming to the wind of fall
The scent of fresh beginnings marked his approach
In the intense fragility of life she remained involved.
On an ordinary day, their paths crossed
He had never seen beauty
In such raw form
She raised her eyebrows,
What trouble has she now herself sought
The ******* whose palm the leaves gladly dropped
Never knew where she herself would fall.
He was overwhelmed, so he probed
How could tragedies
Be so intricately connected with hope
In bright hues
He had always walked
Now a pair of black eyes
Had him ******
Black magic, it must be, he told.
She cried for autumn's loss
He smiled for what spring brought
Spring and autumn
With their eye's locked
In complete stillness, in this contrast they felt they belonged
The world unaware of
Who was it who loved first and more?
Maybe that is why in autumns
With such grace leaves fall
And every turn, springs do a makeover
For its beloved
No touch and no promised words
Maybe we should all stop
And give their love an applause.
Spring, autumn
And their eternal love.

You have got to wake up every morning at the crack of dawn,
Brew yourself a coffee,
Sit on your lawn chair,
And watch the first orange hued rays of sunrise kiss the dust-laden rubble

You’ve got to stop crying
Stop keeping yourself awake every night thinking about the same **** thing that wont matter 2 years from now,
You’ve got to stop depending on him to make you smile,
Talk to your friends and make yourself smile,

You’ve got to stop pitying yourself
And think, breathe and then go upstairs and get some sleep.
And kid you’ve got to love yourself
Because you’re beautiful
Because you’re worth it
Because no one else really will.

because sadness keeps me awake
when i should be asleep
i couldnt close my eyes
to see a crystal clear picture of what it would be like
when i held on to that burning heap

didnt know that burning heap was hotter
than the coals my feet would touch when something was slaughtered
over something that i didnt quite understand
which melted my heart to keep sobbing
into porcelain glasses that were precious
like my heart that kept throbbing

tears fall down like the window pane sound
when someone would come home
dreaming and thinking if i was ever gonna be
with someone or will i be left all alone?

chasing dreams was the reality of life
didnt know it would tire you so much
until it eats you up
like you were the last carrot on the table
which no one else wanted

but it didnt look like that
it was more than sounding flat,
or looking super fat,
more than how long you sat,
or if you looked like a rat.
but what was inside
that distinguished
who you are
and no one else would dictate that.

so much things may slap you in the face real hard
like a giants nest hitting the illegal settlers cage
until it crashes down to pieces
never gonna be put back together in its original place
but it had its chance to reinvent itself

go back up
go back up
stand on both feet up
and up up up
you are bound for something greater than the road's bump

What's the right way to say I'm emotionally unavailable.
You can't have them because they only swim in my ink.
Like a flurry of scribbled words on the back of my napkin.
All the love and pain right there.
"I need you back".

There is a realization to be had when you come to miss the feeling more than the person. When it was never about the person to begin with.

If it wasn't the person... How do I find it again?

I always fell in love too hard too fast.
I guess I let it flood out and now I've got no reserves.

I can't even force it long enough to imagine you next to me. "I don't love you."

Will I even recognize it when Its at my doorstep again.

You always hear of those people who say they are broken and think, how could you be? It's not until you find the shattered peieces hiding behind the door that you see how it really is.

I wish there was a human handbook to repair a heart. DIY heart repair.

I seem to win hearts.. But all I end up doing is resending the prize.

Don't stop tying right? I wonder how many battle fields I'll wander today...

I think about you. All the time. Every second of a minute, every minute of an hour, every hour of a day, every day of a month.

Even right now in utter silence, with just the purr of the fan and the clicking of keyboard keys as I type are heard, you are in my mind. You are in my mind, and I wish - if it's only possible - that you'd fall from my head, just as how you are in my vision - angelic - to my arms so I can embrace you, place my head on your chest, and just drown all other noise as I eavesdrop to the thumps of your heart.

But I looked at my arms and what I saw is my pillow. My favorite pillow. The one I talk to when I very much miss you. The one I cry to when all I wanted is for your shoulders to catch my tears. The one that put me to sleep many a night as the idea of you float in my head. I close my eyes and think of you. And in my dreams you are smiling. In my dreams you said you do miss me too. In my dreams you never let me go until I stopped crying. In my dreams I am sleeping soundly beside you with your breath as my lullaby.

Then I'd awake. Open my eyes. And think of you again, almost involuntarily. 'Cause I cannot stop, and I think I never will.

I love you.

*I really do.