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Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2021
I thought I mattered to you
That there still was something left to save
Scared of life without your presence
Have no choice but be brave

You've made pretty evident
I am no longer what you desire
Wish I knew how you did it
So I also extinguish my fire

You do seem happier
What I want the most
Even if meaning you can only exist
In world as a translucent ghost

Bleeding out until heart's out of blood
Hoping you see
How I care and love you so
Everything you once loved about me

What we had was messy
The one thing I know is that it was true
When I look into your eyes today
Glimpse a sliver of the person I knew

But know things have changed since then
I have made a lot of mistakes
Wish I could take some of it back
No such thing as double takes

Starting to realize our time
Finally has drawn to an end
A portion of me would rather say no
Instead just play pretend

We only get so many chances
Never sure which one is last
Until it is too late and everything you need
Becomes part of the past

The scars left on my feelings
Cause me pain to this day
No matter how long spent apart
Damage determined to stay

We blame ourselves for struggles
Maybe that isn't fair
It is destiny's fault
Creating this nightmare

It seems real this time
You never are coming back
Try to hide my sorrow
I am always wearing black
I call the shade my heart is currently wearing "mourning black"
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2021
I open my eyes
But can't open my heart
It's a door tightly shut
So new love can't start

Looking for an antidote
To take the pain away
Heal my brokenness
I want to feel okay

Find myself between two walls
One is hope
The other fear
I can't climb over either
Frozen in place here

I know I'm not the easiest
Soul to love and adore
I try my best most days I live
But still should be doing more

I push away caring arms
Force myself to be alone
It's safer to suffer solitude
Than risk venturing into unknown

The past haunts my every move
Reminding me of my mistakes
So foolish though I never learn
How much more regret will it take?
Open the eyes of my heart
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2021
I should have seen heartache coming
The moment we said hello
Let you deep inside my heart
In return
You let go
Not fair
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2021
I wonder what you are up to
Do I ever cross your mind?
Know you are with somebody new
You are on mine all the time
If you asked me how many times you've crossed my mind I'd say once because you never left
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2021
I wish you cared for me the way I do you
Hurts to hear you say you love me too
Because if words were true I would already know
When feelings real in actions they show
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2021
So much pain weighing down heavy heart
Wish I would let sadness go
Clinging to my skin like static
Stalking like own shadow
Sighs..
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2021
We are perfectly imperfect
Delightfully wrong
Dysfunctional relationship
Yet it is where I belong

I am the angel on your shoulder
You are the demon on mine
Taste sweeter than ambrosia
Burn stomach like strychnine

You affect my vision
Around you I can't see clear
In your absence aware of illusions
But rendered blind the moment you're near

Your charming wickedness
And my naivete
Balance out our scales
With equal harmony

Love me in shades of grey and black
And I'll bring color to your universe
This cloak of loyalty I wear
Is both a blessing and a curse

You tell me what I want to hear
I say what is true
Sometimes I long to be free of the worry
But too much is at stake to lose
Couldn't. Come up with a better ending so there you have it rotfl
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