i would say, i have a reason to get out of bed
but you won't allow yourself to be my reason
so, i don't say that.

I make my way to the window
It is this place where we meet
Full of excitement, light on my feet
I come here quite often
Waiting for her to arrive

My waiting ends when I see
Her walking, coming up to me
Separated by a window
We speak as we usually do
As inevitably as the sun sets
She turns to leave with the light

I make my way to the window
Summer ends, time doesn’t stop
But our meetings, I’d never swap
We still meet here separated
A window still stands between
All I want is to open the window
To rid what I am bounded by

I make my way to the window
Our meetings now, less frequent
I miss that heavenly sequence
I stand here hoping she’ll come around
I should’ve said how I truly feel
I should’ve yelled it from the window sill

I make my way to the window
She’s not coming anymore
With that thought I’m sure
With one last look I see her once more
I’ve longed for this moment
We are now as we were before
Nothing less nothing more
My feelings haven’t changed
But I think I’m content
Keeping the window shut for now
As inevitably as the moon rises
She leaves with the light

I still want to tell her
All I want is for her to know
But I’m happy here, for now
Morning comes again
I make my way to the window

please
get out of my head.
get
out
of
my
head!

it's so painful to have you here
yet i'm always fighting for you to stay
so do me a favor
just get out
i know you don't care
you don't act like it
you ignore me
you neglect me
you reject me
and yet you said you loved me?

how could you?
to be honest..
how could i?
to fall for your lies...
i'm such a **** fool
why do i love you? it makes no sense
i have to block you for some peace, until i come crawling back in hopes of gaining your attention

it hurts so much
all of this,
caring about you.
i'm crying so much
i took my glasses off
i can barely see the screen on which i'm typing
almost like i can barely see my feelings as something important to you

sigh
i have so much to do
homework
studying
meditation
i even have a potential relationship
and yet i can't do any of it
none of it keeps my focus
why?
because of you!
why can't you listen to my plead?
i don't know

Please,
Just!
Get!
Out!
Of!
My!
Head!

before i blow you out with a bullet.

It's the blend of black and white
The collapsing of good and evil
Like parallel universes becoming one
Like the pull of an angel to the dark side
Or of a devil redeemed
Or like two children at play
rolling down opposite sided hills
Until they meet in the middle of a valley
But gray is not just two colors combined
It is a feeling too
Like an uninvited dark cloud
Looming over head
Crowding you in an empty room
Gray can even be a sensation
A feeling of breathlessness
Despite knowing that your lungs work perfectly
It is the color of numbness
Of no personality and "I don't care"
Its the color of not having an appetite
And a lack of social interaction
Gray is the black and white feeling of a panic attack
When the lights start to blend together
But that slowly turn black as you start to disassociate from the world around you
And you only hear your ears ringing and your heart beat

Heart beat...

The one thing that makes us real
The one thing that we all have in common.

BUT we have more than just hearts
We have minds

Minds that make the human race diverse

Gray is the color of diversity
It represents the complete blend of black and white

To think of the world in black and white would be a crime
Not because there is never a right or a wrong
But because when you see the world in gray,
You witness a world of beauty, pain, error
Emotions that don't exist in clean margins

I love the world that I see in gray.

Can you see it too?

FOR loving ME
FOR BEING SO ABOVE ME
EVEN THROUGH YOUR INFERIORITY-
FOR DOING SO MUCH FOR ME
BUT ACTUALLY DOING SO LITTLE.
DON’T LOOK AT ME, BUT
PLEASE DON’T LOOK AWAY.

I FIND MYSELF TANGLED IN YOUR SATIN BEDSHEETS.
AS OFTEN AS I FIND MYSELF TANGLED IN WORDS AT YOUR THROAT.
I CAN'T STRESS IT ENOUGH.
I NO LONGER FEEL love. I FEEL ALL OF THE WEIGHT, THOUGH YOUR TOUCH MAKES THE LOAD OF CONDITION WEIGHTLESS.
THE LIFT OF THIS BURDEN IS MOMENTARY.
WE GRAVITATE, WE CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT.
I HATE YOU
FOR loving ME.

how are you supposed to make me see your reality,
when the one thing that comes from it,
is god awful?

you want me to see things your way,
you want me to see things in the "light of day"
but right now, from where i'm standing,
seeing you, a glimpse in your reality,
it's a hell of oblivion i wish not to live in.

i say, i'm in the "light of day"
because, judging by where you want to take things,
i see no color.

The only flowers that don't die are fake ones,
People are flawed,
It's just the truth.

But you still expect perfection,

Even though it always rains where you live,
And there's a leak from your roof.

Now I know it would be hypocritical of me to point out your wrongs.

When where I live the boilers broken,
And I know you hate one of my favourite songs,
But it screams the words that cannot be spoken.

The only flowers that don't die are fake ones,
people are flawed,
It's just the truth,

But you still expect perfection.

You must have been ruined in your youth.