And the blackberries would arrive
With the close of summer
Then a change in good things
That flutter behind wide eyes would begin

And the pungent fresh morning mint leaves would shrivel and die
Replaced with heaps of golden and brown coffins
Like broken limbs from a basket case heart
Littering the garden path with those memories
Which I would stamp on hard with my feet for bringing me here at all

And the doors would be locked
So tight that not a word of grief could escape them  
And then the sun would begin to  drop
Eventually leaving us apart in the dark where I would not hear a word of anything said
But would train my ear to pick up the small whine from the grandfather in the lower hall

And I would press my face so close against the thin glass door that I would go numb
And then for that second I would not think about anything
and I would live in bliss for that small moment
Savouring the lack of feeling

Let us listen to love songs
And pretend they are about us.
Let us have nothing to do
And not make a fuss.

Let us confuse each other
With an advance and retreat,
And at the end of the night
Let us not be complete.

Let us talk lovingly,
One on one.
Let us not in large groups,
As I am no fun.

Let us never know
How the other one feels;
But perhaps one day,
Over wine and take-away meals.

Could you be a fence to me?
a cold stone wall?
A kissing gate?
Anything to keep my tears hidden

Lately it's been less than that

now that my defences are low
And the rest of them far away
There's nothing left for me to do
But continue to lurk behind old barriers

And you could be a fence to me
Protect me from harm
But my brain
Being The way it is
Makes Self destruction something of a hobby

I stand by the fence I've built
And from the corner of my eye
I can see your gaze
Piercing me