i was born
with a heart too big to fit
inside my chest
and a soul bigger than my body
so i have chosen
to leave pieces of my heart
in the places my feet have known
in the people i have loved
in the words i have read
in the beauty my eyes have seen
and my soul-
i have scattered it like seeds
and i have left parts of it
in songs,
in poetry,
in the laughter of children,
in the arms that have held me
and the hearts that have loved me

naked,

underneath snow that falls,

like a dead waltzer,

like you and your shaking self.



naked ,

where snow melts around bones that break,

knees that shake.

and a voice that refuses to speak.



naked,

laid out to rest,

cede to the crackling frost;

frost like a galaxy,

the same galaxy, crafted and stitched into your ice-born skin,

into your glacier eyes.



naked,

starved,

a suicidal dreamer,

trying to touch the stars,

the begging, arctic moon -

trying to touch anything

but her anorexic, marbled form.

i dreamt of you
standing on top of a building
so far up, staring down at me

i dreamt of you
standing on top of a building
so far up, a hero in the sky

i dreamt of you
standing on top of a building
and i wonder if this means
that no matter how many
crimes you commit
somewhere deep inside
you are still my savior
standing so tall, so far
always untouchable
i wonder if this means
that in my heart
you still hold a position
stories higher than anyone else
i keep looking for a savior
but that place remains unreplaced
because the safety after the fear
that you gave me is irreplaceable
and i wonder if that means
no matter how far i run
i'll still search for you
in my skies and sun

i dreamt of you
laying on top of my body
your skin buzzing with electricity

i dreamt of you
laying on top of my body
your touch caressing my skin

i dreamt of you
laying on top of my body
and i wonder if that means
no matter how many times
i try to escape
your weight is still somewhere
on my chest
holding me down like a brand
claiming me as yours
your skin is heavy
with hunger and mine
craves you in ways i never
craved anyone else
and after all these months
i wonder if this means
you are still somewhere
on my body
in my body
i wonder if you still
live somewhere in my heart
and under my layers
and i wonder
if this means no matter how many
times i try to wash you away
you are still
always there.

It’s my only chance to see her
I’m not afraid to die, then go to heaven
I was with her for 56 years
She’s been gone a dozen years
I miss my wife, dear Nell
She was my best friend
She still is, I know she
Watches over me, understand
We had a bond so strong
We didn’t need to talk
We sure got along
If only she hadn’t smoked
We both lost to that
If only, it left me lonely
We had such a blast
Just living day to day
One fun family
Me and her, just me and her
That’s all we did need
So, no, I’m not afraid to die
For when that someday comes
I’ll rejoin her in a peaceful place
And be with my darling one

I shouldn't be scared,
Or should I?
I have been through this a hundred times.

But each time
Your words cut deep
And before the wound can heal
You cut some more.

But it's not just the words.
I know I have caused you to become someone you would rather not be.
But I cannot help it
And the guilt kills me more than you can imagine.

But I am not finished
And never will

Because every time we hurt together,
We get stronger.
Together.

This is our storybook.
Longer than any dictionary
Or encyclopedia
You can imagine.

It is the story of our love.

What is true happiness?
I think I have found it.

Is it that feeling that you get
When you cannot wait to face another day,
Or when you cannot wipe your smile away?

Is it when you know
You have found people
That understand you
And actually listen to what you have to say?

Is it when you know your passion,
And when you can finally reach out and grab it
Out of the air?

Is it when you have hardships,
But though you know your life is tough
You don't even care?

It's when you feel as though you are finally big enough for the world
And that you can stand on your own two feet,
That a weight has been lifted
Off of your shoulders,
And then thrown in your problem's face.

The demons inside are terrible
They tell you how to feel and what to say
All they seem to do is make life unbearable
They come out when you least expect it just to play

They poke fun and make you cry
The bad thoughts sometimes come and stay
You get pushed to the edge ready to leave the world with no goodbye
Wile the demons inside laugh and don't go away

Your ears ring with their laughs
While your screams comfort them inside
They whispered the bad things in what seemed like paragraphs
Until you fell apart in your mind

There are no rules for them
They lie and break and bruise
They cause mayhem
The demons fight and play until you lose