I'm a matchstick
With a sulfur head
Dying out quick as I'm lit
How bright I burn
For those few seconds in
A darkened mine
How I shine
Reflections in dirty eyes
And lantern light
How I singe the fingers
Of black lung victims
Lying underground like
i just need to sleep on this head
full of forgotten strengths and ever-present sorrows
and hope that the stale morning will come
within the blink of an eye
like thick steam
my thoughts will dissipate into the cold, dry air
and become nothing but a homogeneous mixture
of nitrogen and oxygen
into my waiting lungs
too damaged by smoke
to know the difference between clean air
or anything else
So many times that I've been disappointed
I'm not alone, I know
but these circumstances drown me
in the feeling
I wish, and hope for things
I cry and plead with your logical self
but you never do
I try to care about your life, and I
just want you to care
someday I hope you can
for his sake
for your sake
I just want better for us,
how did I become the enemy
Please! could you explain it to me?
I'm paranoid with good reason
and when finally you seem to acknowledge
It's never lasted
you just fall back down
without good reason
Hold your breath
Count to ten,
Don't let go
Keep it in.
Lift a brick
Dig a hole,
Keep holding on.
Shut your eyes
And don't breathe,
Stay in there
Don't be free.
Now climb out,
Run a mile.
Swim a lap
Don't breathe, but smile.
Greet some people,
Hug a few
But even then
Don't you dare spew.
Do you feel at ease?
Is it a wonderful feel?
That's the strength I have
To walk past you like a breeze.
Releasing from my breath
Burnt out oxygen
And the residue
Of what's killing you
As it sweats out my pores
Being part of my being
Toxicity in lucid masses
Rushing every part
Cheating the courses
Flowing by vein
particles mixing in my brain
Bleeding tissue like a rat
On a war path
Smoking the plague
Smiling pearly gates
That gaped into hell
As I scream your name
Gaged on the tears
Just a choking phrase
Get it joking
But in reality
As I lay my
Lungs on the line
Staining the yellow belly
Only fingers sin
every breath you took.
Originating from your lungs.
But yet the one thing I cherished the most
Is what made you die.
The cancer disintegrated your lungs,
the organs that I used to thank everyday.
Yet, they were the ones who took you away.
They made it harder and harder to breathe
until God told you it was time to leave.
I know you had a heart of the sun
shining and beating until the day was done.
And when you left my sight,
you left your reflection on the moon so bright
Just to let us know that you're not gone,
you're just waiting to meet us after our dawn.
The broken bone branches hang heavy off knuckled tree. As cold and uninviting as wrapped meat in cellophane prison cells and those sweating milk bottles left on doorsteps. Women cry with the blackbirds as day breaks, rousing their reluctant nests.
As the shadows trawl in from chicken farms and slaughterhouses, across the squalid estates and past a debt collectors party. A tramp drinks his soot like coffee and waits for another years tide to retreat. Holding pith less ambitions and unmentionable qualifications, stewardess pass, uniformed thoughts and averting faces..
The rusty playgrounds sink into the fermenting wood chips, and a plastic bag runs through the scene; only to commit suicide in the oil ribbon canal. The chemical clouds thicken into a duvet of sky whilst arrows of a natural sun run home with tears of fear on their hot faces.
Down here the street lights flicker, and the patched uniforms drape off children sick with the flu that hit the school like a plague. Herding like cattle into the classrooms, to learn about the natural world
that is most unearthly to there reason.
Lunch bells ring from factories and the sky has drained to a sick -off white. The chip shop sells butties with no sauce nor bun, which machine like men guzzle and slurp.
The car parks lay stagnant in the distance and pigeons too fat to fly lay droppings on the bronze statue of a crying hero. As the roaring stops from the factories and high visibility coats are hung, the sky bruises and the men fill the pubs, until wives with children hung on washing lines drag there sweat soaked frames to the table, only to indulge them in a row.
Night creeps in, bringing with it the hooded figures that flutter along the streets. Music plays from a vacant building and seems to brighten the night.
A silhouette is seen standing on the edge, watching the busses bellow run like migrating snails, filled with the elderly and too young.
Cigarettes infest the streets creating a carpet of ash and litter. The city survives, remaining grey, never blinking, never heard.
i went for a run today and i couldn't catch my breath
and for some reason that's been happening often now.
it's like you only get so many breaths
and maybe i just don't have that many left.
i'm writing this poem right now and i'm using the font
that reminds me of your name. it's not a pretty font,
but if you were a font, you wouldn't be pretty either.
i've been having trouble waking up in the morning.
my bedroom is too cold for me to jump out of bed.
i put socks on my feet to keep in the hear,
but when i wake up, the socks are lost in my sheets.
i get kind of nervous when i hear your name,
because this time last year, i didn't even know your name,
or who you were.
i have this weird bruise on my knee and i don't know where it came from.
it's dark purple and red and i'm worried.
i don't think i'd be able to handle losing my health,
but i kind of wonder how much i ever had it.
after june, i'll probably never see you again,
and you'll never think of me again.
i just wish you'd think of me, once.
sometimes during class i take my pulse
just to make sure it's still there.
it always is, and the i feel disgusted at myself
for wishing it wasn't.