Sometimes the rain doesn't just roll off my skin.
Instead of water,
sheets of razors pour from the sky,
slicing my soul into something unrecognizable.

And it makes me feel more
than I have let myself in weeks.
Sharp and cold and harsh
juxtaposing itself from my warm naivety
and shut eyes.

So much damage to the inside
that my skin prickles from underneath
and I shutter at the downpour of metal.

And I beg it to stop,
beg it to let me sleep again,
and curse the sky for making me breathe through stripped lungs.

Nothing so violent has ever been so quiet.
Nothing so dark has ever felt so familiar.

Standing on the ledge once again
Nothing and no one else around
Nothing to stop me from taking the plunge
Nothing but thoughts of you
Keep me on this side
So once again you saved my live
From the edge of the razors knife

There was a certain cadence when he talked.
His head would bop to its own rhythm as he enthusiastically recounted, waxed poetic, or ranted.

Rant or rave,
There was no real in between
As is often the case with passionate people and sharp tongues.

His words cut like razors.
He was more than willing to draw blood and I was more than willing to shed it.

****** ILLOGICAL. bite to break skin, I'm rampant chaos; burning Hellfyre within.
sharpened edges, razor kiss, a dance on the edge of this galaxy.
tilt at the axis and ill crash,
supernova blinding flash
but i wont ****** burn out.
no,
ill just burn your retinas and scar you,
leave you wandering the bleak dark night you stranded me to.
all of the doctors pills and all of the kings men couldnt put cassie back together again.
DOA.
ill hitch a ride on the tail of the next comet straight outta this galaxy because everything here means nothing to me,
least of all, you.

You told me you
Couldn't trust anymore
So you locked your heart
And you shut the door
I would knock and
Knock everyday
I waited for a response
Then I walked away
Soon I grew tired
Of trying to earn your trust
Your teardrops on
doorknobs begin to rust
It was pointless to knock
So I just walked in
Your trust in me
Growing more thin

"No more doors
We can have a new start
Now I only have
To unlock your heart"

"But why should I trust
The one that didn't knock?"

*"Because I am the only one
That cares about your lock

Everyone else left
For the same reason I stayed
Because I couldn't bare
To watch you use that blade"

Your eyes mean bees in my
throat, but the first time I
saw you it only felt like fire.
I don't think I realized that
is the only element I could
let myself go to, because
the beauty of it looks like
the burning of things better
left forgotten. Like lying
mirrors. Like blind trust.

The first time I thought you
would hold my hand, I was
wrong.  It was by my wrist
instead. I have never felt fear
like that, like razors. Sweet,
slippery red. I never thought
I'd be one to let myself fall
like that, but your skin looks
like a promise I can't keep.

I f l e w too close to the sun
And fell too close to the stars
I cried the tears of the moon
As I felt the loneliness of asteroids.


I hugged the never touching trees
And kissed the lonely roses
And b r e a t h e d the air for the dying grass
And sat in the laps of the evergreen vines of ivy.

I ran with the wolves
To forget the malice feeling of the cougars
And s a n g the song of freedom with the hawks
As I let the rabbits comfort me.

I walked with the preoccupied humans
As I stared at the nervous buildings
And hugged the crying street light
Then let the cold air b i t e me

I sat a l o n e in my empty room
With the joyfully stained razor blade
And with the vain and well woven noose
Jumping off the chair as I choose.

Before I was happy
I was sad
Before I was angry
I was glad

Then I started to walk across the grass
And I felt each blade of grass rub gently against my feet
Then I felt a cut
And it stung

And I never walked through that meadow again
Until I learned
That there's always going to be something that's going to hurt you
But there's also
Going to be someone
Who's going to love you even more than they did

But after that first cut
It never feels the same
After your first love
You reach for this blade
Because

You're gonna get cut again anyway
Might as well
Do it yourself

Until after all those cuts
Just like the blades of grass against your feet
You reach that blade that cut you

But this time
It heals you

So long as these blades don't **** you
Before you get there

Puddle of blood appears...draining from your corpse

Living
Dead
Girl?

I want to turn my self-hatred into something physical,
I want to keep feeling like death because
I'm so used to these feelings of guilt and regret-
in an ever-changing world, it's my constant.
You say you despise change-
then how on earth will you be able to stay by my side
as my eyes change with the seasons?
This nicotine tastes like (self) destruction
and I can't get enough of it,
because without it I could put the devil to shame
with the way my mind bends
and seems to snap away from reality,
leaving me shaking and seemingly broken.
The razor caressing my skin
takes my blood and breath but it gives me life.
This old journal I found reads about how
the voices in my head were trying to **** me,
the epitome of my anxiety
tears drip down my face,
I'm getting more light-headed with every passing moment
and I can't help but smile
despite the fact that I'd given up on life
a while back.
Up, down, my moods change with the hour
and these thoughts devoured my sanity
a long time ago.
You say you despise change-
how on earth will you be able to stay by my side
as I change with the seasons?