T      A
1 day ago

this is a small mercy.
to sit in darkened rooms,
plugged into a sad song
clutching at concerns midst a haze of distraction


for You to pierce it.

tear right through the walls
the pillows
the headphones
straight to the skull.

this is a small mercy.
the only one left.
so I wait.

#love   #relief   #release  
Kevin M Ryan
Kevin M Ryan
2 days ago

And if I make it til tomorrow, I'll let you knock me down to size. I'll stop this ugly petty show. I won't ask you to empathize.

And if tomorrow comes for me, I won't be so self absorbed, I'll do more for you and them, I won't leave you so ignored.

And if I make it til tomorrow, I'll tell my Dad it's not his fault. I'll take the blame for my side of things, I'll be more grateful for what he brought.

And if tomorrow comes for me, I'll fight the urge to rediscover what that needle's all about, I'll leave that up to another.

(and I won't have to write that note apologizing to my mother.)

And if I make it til tomorrow, I'll take the time to treat you right. I'll back off when you are tired, I'll back you up in the fight.

But today is no good, there's nothing left, I'm all alone. I burned each bridge back to life, I've blocked the route to hope and love. So, so long, goodbye tomorrow, I wont be there if you come. Tonight, I'm here, freeing you, as I become a setting sun. Just like that stupid song that was sang by Neil Young.

Sienna Luna
Sienna Luna
4 days ago

You make me so giddy inside
nervous like
a warm runny egg.
You are so respectful
of boundaries
which has left me
wanting so much more.
You are a conundrum
always looking, looking, looking
at me causing blood to
flush my round cheeks.
I want to bone your firm ass
and make you cum
till kingdom come.
Cream your pants
and come undone.
You make me so churlish
all writhing inside with
a heavy licentious
attitude equating to
the silent space
between us where
nothing is said
and our eyes meet
but words seem to
stick in my
tarnished throat
choking up
on all those internal
sultry soliloquies
trapped tight
in my esophagus
wanting desperately
to venture forth
through tantalizing
whispers of the heart.
And somehow
I break through
that anxiety
and pour my soul
into your open arms
and you release me
making my fears dribble
out all over my pants and
all over my cheeks
in tears of joy.
You make me anxious
when I'm butt naked
and antsy like string beans
peeling their skins off
to reveal tiny round
little green seeds
not unlike peas.
You make my plant stems
and flowers engorge.
You make the sunlight
within me adored.
You are so kind and careful
by the way you carry
yourself full of warmth
and confidence and balance
and I feel an inability to express these physical desires seeming
endless in their tidings.
I always seem to keep my
sexual secrets to myself
because they are bottomless
and embarrassing beyond belief.
But your words seem to
release me and so finally
I can speak.
You are so open and sensual
by the way you observe me
and I find myself burning
alive inside
my guts all squirming
in loose knots  
trying to unravel
these trivial thoughts.
Still wanting to leap
the distance and smother
you with wet kisses
my body is burdened
by natural urges.
These animal instincts
that venture on purges.
You make me so lascivious
by nothing of your
own accord
by the way you look and gaze
deeply into my eyes
for moments at a time
never ending
this joy is never ending
but secretly
I wish I could open you up
enough to hear your
orgasmic screaming.
I wish I could satisfy
your insatiable need
and be able to pleasure you
instead of you pleasuring me.
This relief is somehow firm
and I've done a lot of freeing.
I ache to see your face
aroused and flushed
by something I'm not seeing.

#love   #heart   #lust   #flower   #soul   #joy   #sex   #nerves   #fears   #release  
Mar 21

i want to take a vacuum to my soul to rid myself of you
you're in my nooks and crannies
hiding from my efforts
no matter how hard i work you'll still be there
constantly driving my compulsive mind to the edge
maybe i don't want to vacuum you all the way gone but i want to rid myself of the pain i feel when you are not here
i can't decide whats worse
the pain when you're gone or the pain i feel when you are here
i'm so needy
i'm so clingy
cut me off so i can heal myself in pity and self loathing
release me from your grip that you didn't even know you had on me

#love   #pain   #hurt   #pity   #missing   #release  

You took away all the tools
to allow me to fix us

I'm sitting here with my hands tied behind my back
waiting for you to release them
So I can reach you.
So I can hold you.

So I can tell you how sorry I am.

Please release me.

I first saw you on the white sands
Nude boy on the beach
Arms wrapped around your legs, helpless elastic bands
Eyes closed, head resting on your knees
Nude boy on the beach
I first saw you on the white sands

I didn’t know what to do
I couldn’t take my eyes off you
To just indifferently walk away
Or to tiptoe into this mystery new
I couldn’t take my eyes off you
I didn’t know what to do.

The day sighed and doused its fire
The moon all dressed-up strolled up the pier
Were you deep in thoughts or were you sad
Were you hiding your face, because it hurt so bad.
The moon all dressed-up strolled up the pier
The day sighed and doused its fire

And then, you picked up your reed flute,
Suddenly, you started to bleed
Red-dark poetry running over the white sands, the waves and the sea weed
That was when you raised your unblemished face to the moon
I remember seeing your broken spirit mend on a dark lagoon
This memory of you remains etched on the palms of my hands
Nude boy on the beach
That was when I last saw you on the white sands

The light dims.
The fire dies.
Darkness fills in the blanks.
Sweet release.
Tears against my cheek.
Now met with the dissatisfying drought.
Left alone in desolate cold.
Fear overwhelms.
Not fear of monsters or the simple unknown.
Fear that when my eyes grow heavy I will never lift them again.
I will become a stone.
Unmoved and cold.
To survive these nights alone.

#fear   #death   #sleep   #cold   #stone   #release   #austin   #wrestling   #steve   #stunner  

On archery:

Upon release -- without a proper arrow -- unleashed, stored potential-energy
will quake about either limb of the bow.  This kind of transference is known as a dry fire, & can sometimes rage ..till the arrow-less bow shatters.

This is what can occur when there is no place to send bottled-force.
..It needs room to escape, matching inch for inch the distance
covered had an arrow been shot into the sky, fired at the ground,
or sent down range.  ...That can sometimes be a lot ....of distance....
..to make up.

The tightest grip on a loose tether string

I want to lose control
Be in control
How can they happen twice - at once?

I feel you, I see you, and its pounding.
I'm pounding.
And I can't lose myself, I can't lose control.
Oh You -  and how I stand alone again.

And when I do, lose control, I lose you.
But I need to lose control to get you.

Do I know what to say, do?
How to act....
How to feel...
I want to stay away.
I want you to stay away.
Or I may lose control, and I mean control over my senses

Yet, I need to stop worrying about controlling you or me.
Controlling how I want everything to happen.
You to happen,
Me to feel

So let it flow, free fall, tumble and take its wave.
Tumble on the shore, and pull back into the current - once more, it splashes down on the wet sand
And each curvature in the wave is so different, pushed by wind, and shaped by geography
And each push and pull towards you, should flow
As I realize this, I may lose my grip

And release

When you feel so vulnerable around someone you have strong feelings for and you want to not feel this way because you hate the feelings of losing control of yourself and your emotions.
#go   #feelings   #lost   #much   #control   #let   #vulnerable   #lose   #release   #tight  

I've written a thousand words that have trailed behind me for decades.
If I attempted to turn around and pick them all up as if I'm collecting shells from a beachside, it would be wheelbarrows full.

Just write Natasha.
Quit attempting to perfect this gift and just let it unravel.
Don't criticize, judge or feel
Guilt over your need to shut away and bleed the thoughts that you're unable to speak onto paper.

Release the fear that captivates you. It's that uneasiness in knowing the pain that spills once I form these words into being readable and they sink into my heart and become truth.
Truth equals pain for me.

It's the fear that this truth might just kill me.
Is it possible to die of a broken heart, I often ask myself.

Battling this fear to write this novel is the one thing holding me back from healing.

Allowing my entire being to sink into it, and rage against the words as if I'm the flat of the ocean being ravished by the never ending waves.

Tossed and turned by the emotions that come with the process that forces you to heal.

It's the still, that resides between each word written, that quiet space that leaves me restless.

Calm the infuriation, unclench your teeth and let the words be written into reality.

My need to burst into a blood pumping release that lightens my heart from this heaviness is enough to shake the floor of the ocean.

Copyright © Natasha Ivory Evans 2016
#writer   #fury   #release   #unleash  
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