Upon release -- without a proper arrow -- unleashed, stored potential-energy
will quake about either limb of the bow. This kind of transference is known as a dry fire, & can sometimes rage ..till the arrow-less bow shatters.
This is what can occur when there is no place to send bottled-force.
..It needs room to escape, matching inch for inch the distance
covered had an arrow been shot into the sky, fired at the ground,
or sent down range.
That can sometimes be a lot ....of distance to ..make up.
Just an expression right now.
The tightest grip on a loose tether string
I want to lose control
Be in control
How can they happen twice - at once?
I feel you, I see you, and its pounding.
And I can't lose myself, I can't lose control.
Oh You - and how I stand alone again.
And when I do, lose control, I lose you.
But I need to lose control to get you.
Do I know what to say, do?
How to act....
How to feel...
I want to stay away.
I want you to stay away.
Or I may lose control, and I mean control over my senses
Yet, I need to stop worrying about controlling you or me.
Controlling how I want everything to happen.
You to happen,
Me to feel
So let it flow, free fall, tumble and take its wave.
Tumble on the shore, and pull back into the current - once more, it splashes down on the wet sand
And each curvature in the wave is so different, pushed by wind, and shaped by geography
And each push and pull towards you, should flow
As I realize this, I may lose my grip
I've written a thousand words that have trailed behind me for decades.
If I attempted to turn around and pick them all up as if I'm collecting shells from a beachside, it would be wheelbarrows full.
Just write Natasha.
Quit attempting to perfect this gift and just let it unravel.
Don't criticize, judge or feel
Guilt over your need to shut away and bleed the thoughts that you're unable to speak onto paper.
Release the fear that captivates you. It's that uneasiness in knowing the pain that spills once I form these words into being readable and they sink into my heart and become truth.
Truth equals pain for me.
It's the fear that this truth might just kill me.
Is it possible to die of a broken heart, I often ask myself.
Battling this fear to write this novel is the one thing holding me back from healing.
Allowing my entire being to sink into it, and rage against the words as if I'm the flat of the ocean being ravished by the never ending waves.
Tossed and turned by the emotions that come with the process that forces you to heal.
It's the still, that resides between each word written, that quiet space that leaves me restless.
Calm the infuriation, unclench your teeth and let the words be written into reality.
My need to burst into a blood pumping release that lightens my heart from this heaviness is enough to shake the floor of the ocean.
Bother me no more
guilty conscience set against me
wish my soul should I abhor.
But slowly running
having just begun in
this locking out of joy.
Tether not my soul
Who comes redeeming
the past that I so buried
with quiet scheming
and pain rendered briskly
leaving even tepid sorrow teeming.
Take but one more glance
of what will be no more.
Forever smitten by desires
and ever growing climbing spires
that scream ascending over
what crushed, shall not return
to bother me once more.
It can bother me no more.
We spew out our pent up feelings.
As the world revolves they gush out.
Splashing onto the paper like so much vomit.
Our minds disgorging our ideas like an unwanted virus.
Hands busily scribbling it down before it fades away.
Like a tiny bubble, rising through the primordial ooze.
Precious to us, coming from that dark place within.
In the light they shrivel becoming mere words.
A single note in the symphony of life.
Swirling into the cacophony, it adds itself to the whole.
Our harmonious thoughts and alluring words.
Brave the coming storm.
What's that sound, that lovely ring?
It calls my name and I slip away.
Don't miss my name, or anything..
It is just not my day.
Another slip from this world,
A dimensional gap in my mind.
I'm pulled away, and storms curl
On the outer and inside.
You call my name, I do not hear
I'm gone now, too late
Just like that, I disappear
And fully dissipate.
Her honey'd hole a wet, wet dream,
her liquid gold a silky stream where
sliding thrusts were mounted, hot,
and arching bodies dared not stop;
where moments flowed into the next
and both were drowned in comfort sex
and eyes were riding each one's soul:
his quest for freedom her only goal
And rather than come up for air
this fiery passion sank them there,
(as both an anchor, 'twined like rope,
and locked in pelvic gyroscope)
her swollen thighs around his waist,
her nails embedded, tongues embraced
and fishing for that final taste
with every touch, in every place
Fused as one with melting cores,
(her curling toes demanding more)
his urgent need to plunge her rightly
sealed them closed with hearts bound tight, and
all around them
walls of water washed their sins
in quickening waves that locked them in
with swats and spanks
and gentle yanks and saucy stares
while skin to skin and hand to soaking hair
Like rolling tide to rocky shore,
(her legs thrown wide, his pelvis sore)
the crash and grind of karmic ties
were deep explored and fast revived
- with whispered greed they came alive -
awash with dirty un-restraint and
thrived, un-reined, with fate to blame,
their pulsing needs through every vein,
infused as one and charged by same:
her wild release on which he came
an ocean, calling out her name
Written 10 January, 2017
Today was a hard day
I could not live with the choices I've made
Felt my Spirit screaming "I want to break away", wanting to emerge
But I built such thick skin even I can't disperse
Often I catch myself gazing into the Sky
Contemplating starry nights
"Wish I could be among the stars", I say
Wanting to feel surrounded and warm in space
But with my two feet on the ground, my mind again gets pulled away
And for that wish to come true
The only solution I come to