i started writing when i was 15 years old. every word that came from me stemmed from a dark place that i was trying my best to come out from. every poem i wrote was a desperate plea for help. it's been 5 years since then and i'm in a completely different place now, mentally and physically. i'm far from home, doing my degree in psychology, hoping that one day i'll get to help people who felt the same way i did years ago. it took me a while but i found myself, and i found love. i found love for myself, and i found love for others. and most importantly, i found love for a specific him, and i know that even if we don't ever make it to the end together, he will always be someone very precious to me. as such, this is "the end". but this is also "the beginning". the beginning of my 20s, the beginning of my university life, and the beginning of my life.

thank you for walking with me through the toughest moments/days of my life. when things were bad all i had were my words and hellopoetry to release them to. you kept me afloat when i couldn't do so myself. so thank you, so so so much.

you made me laugh,
you made me smile,
while you were hurting inside
all this while.

i just wish i knew more
when you were still breathing
now all that's left
are our grieving

wherever you are now,
i hope you're happier,
i hope you achieve optimum
i hope your smile is brighter

it will always hurt,
knowing you chose this path
and knowing i couldn't help
nor could anyone do 'nough

kim jong-hyun,
there will not be a day
the world doesn't mourn
there will not be a day
your sacrifice go unseen
there will not be a day
i won't miss you.

rest in peace,
my dear childhood idol,
you did well,
you did well.