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dreams long lost
swirl around me

in the shade of Arjuna
winds sing a lullaby.

they never die
bide their time
in the cave of eye
neath layer of rhyme

don't the rustles fall silent
yet canopy of new leaves
grow above

crave the same firmament
and away from old griefs
seek new love?


in the winds' murmur
i would never touch them
the seemingly lost dreams

but quietly in the hopes' harbor
rekindle their flickering flame

and let flow in endless streams.
i'm struggling to come back, falling in love more with the drift.
Arjuna, a tree found in rural Bengal.
My fingers curl around the pen
A silent plead
The only thing I need
Is to know where you've been

Tapping it against my temple
Hour after hour
Don't cower
I've only just begun to lose my mental

Let the silent flow know
Behind this pain
My strength speaks volumes
Waves can manipulate a crowd
To follow you

Gentle vengeance against a series
of unfortunate events
The suspense is what gets you
Not the multiple texts
Nor the 'I don't care' pretense
I've sent

If you'd just spent hours
Waiting on me
you'd be angry
But you see
I'd rather be
pain free

The beginning of a phone call
is the end to all
we've been through
The sweet relief of a phone line
click
without an "I love you"
Full of rage and hopeful. Weird combo.
the soft lisp in my speech
it bothered me
the not quite there
length of my hair
and the gap between my two front teeth

the fear that shook my bones at an adult's vicious tone
the tightness of the chest when I didn't fit among the rest
The smitten talk of boys to which I couldn't quite relate
Longing looks in the mirror in lost hopes of losing weight

Long hours spent at night writing fiction far away
The hooded eyes come morning when I wasn't quite awake
The look in classmates eyes when teachers pulled me aside
Questions of home and finding help and the reason I was so **** quiet

Not knowing just why
I kept hidden my poisoned life
It ripped me up inside

But given time
I have realised

All these little things
It is true -
They do bother me
They do, they do.

Yet without every piece
Every burning memory

No less than you are you
I simply would not be

Me
coming to terms with a lot of nasty stuff and realising that all of my experiences be they incredible or toxic still make me a fabulous as **** person  and stronger if anything :)
Staring corpselike at the ceiling,
See his harsh, unrazored features,
Ghastly brown against the pillow,
And his throat--so strangely bandaged!

Lack of work and lack of victuals,
A debauch of smuggled whisky,
And his children in the workhouse
Made the world so black a riddle

That he plunged for a solution;
And, although his knife was edgeless,
He was sinking fast towards one,
When they came, and found, and saved him.

Stupid now with shame and sorrow,
In the night I hear him sobbing.
But sometimes he talks a little.
He has told me all his troubles.

In his broad face, tanned and bloodless,
White and wild his eyeballs glisten;
And his smile, occult and tragic,
Yet so slavish, makes you shudder!
Of all the ways you've laid waist
to the Fortressess of Love I ***** in the realm of my emotions...

Of all the brittle limbs you send back crumbling on which once grew life I sent to you like pawns before me in this dry territory where the dust disturbs the view of the silvry illuminations in the sky...

Of all these things I've said, and the things I've not said...

At least, they let me know that you know I'm alive.
I could not sleep, nor think.
So I wrote a poem.
***** and forgotten,
Abandoned and afraid,

time goes on,

Listless and lifeless,
Crippled and silenced,

time goes on,

Steady and patient
Hopeful, with faith,

time goes on,

Gloriously elated,
Majestic and grand,

time goes on,

Loved and accepted,
Joyous and free,

time goes on,

Quiet and contemplative,
Peaceful and still,

time goes on,




time goes on,
Life has loveliness to sell,
All beautiful and splendid things;
Blue waves whitened on a cliff,
Soaring fire that sways and sings,
And children’s faces looking up,
Holding wonder like a cup.

Life has loveliness to sell;
Music like a curve of gold,
Scent of pine trees in the rain,
Eyes that love you, arms that hold,
And, for the Spirit’s still delight,
Holy thoughts that star the night.

Give all you have for loveliness;
Buy it, and never count the cost!
For one white, singing hour of peace
Count many a year of strife well lost;
And for a breath of ecstasy,
Give all you have been, or could be.
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