They say your first love is something you’ll never forget

The person you first loved under the summer sun of your junior year who held you close and swore the stars were in your eyes and they would never leave 

The intense, young love.

Innocent, pure, unpredictable. 

It’s true that you’ll never forget that love, but the love is not what you don’t forget 
You remember the first time someone literally took your heart out of your chest and drained every ounce of fluid from it as you watched another person hold onto his 

You remember how he swore he loved you and when those words came out of his mouth you felt like you understood the rest of the world, 

And when he said he didn’t feel it anymore you understood why in the first month with him your mother told you to slow down

You don’t remember how you remember, but you remember how you never actually forgot

Girl, it really is sad
That he left you standing in the cold
He often treated you as if you were nothing
He sadly did not realize that you have a heart of gold
It is a shame
That he treated you that way
Just pick yourself up
There is nothing left to say

missing you was
like living your dream
come true
then finding out
that was all
it ever was -
just a dream.

missing you was
like making two cups of coffee
in the morning
before reality punches you
in the stomach
or worse yet -
in the chest.

missing you was
sleeping on the left side of the bed
afraid to touch the right side
leaving it unmade,
the way it was -
the day you left.

missing you was
above all, i think
just a game of waiting
for you
to return.

And so she wrote about
the most exquisite pain
he caused;
the way he said 'i love you'
the way he kissed her
and then a bit later on,
the way he left with a simple 'sorry'

She wrote about every tears
that has been shed
and yet she wondered,
was it all that easy
was it worth it
was he worth it?

She told the world about him
She turned him into a poetry
And she wrote wholeheartedly
Hoping someone could understand
How cruel he was to break her

But deep inside, she wanted him
to read it out loudly
and finally find his way back to her
and she wanted to hear the phrase
'i love you', once again
but this time-
she wanted him to not tell her a lie

a.r

To love and be loved,  is equal to holding the keys to Heaven on Earth

I could see in your eyes
That something was calling you
Pulling you away
Making you question everything
You were wanting more

Although it wasn't on purpose
I was tying you down
You were young and inexperienced
You needed to learn things the hard way
I just couldn't protect you from that anymore

What we had wasn't false
But it wasn't made to last
The best thing I ever did for you
Was to let you go