Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
  Apr 2019 xtine
Serena Jo Hanke
every time i laugh
i quickly look over at you
hoping you’d fall for my laugh
as fast as i fell for yours
xtine Apr 2019
I tried to hide how much it hurts.
The Disappointments.
The Insecurities.
The Failures.
But the pain crept up my throat.

I tried to hide how much it hurts,
tried to hide it from the world;
but the instant I turned the **** to my own chamber,
I couldn’t hold back the pain any longer.
xtine Apr 2019
You are the book I hold in one hand,
And on the other, a highlighter.
I remember how we were told to
only mark down the important parts with the neon colours;
but darling,
I need more than this one pen of neon pigment to highlight these pages,
Because your entire being is the most important thing in my life.
xtine Apr 2019
maybe you once asked me:
"how are you?"
but
did you really mean it?
was it ever a genuine curiosity
or
was it just a meaningless question to avoid the oddity
of inane awkward silences?
maybe
it was just an appropriate thing for you to say at the moment
and it led me on to think
that you'll be there for me when i need it.
but at the end,
you were never
there.

SO

the next time you ask me:
"how are you?"
and i say:
"i'm okay"
and if you genuinely cared at all,
would you have noticed the silent screams in my eyes
that hold back the tears saying
i need you?
This is dedicated to a friend who once told me that she questions if her friends are genuine enough to be there for her when she needs them. Because honestly, I can relate.
xtine Apr 2019
my chest is a black hole that takes the air I breath from my lungs,
quickly imploding in on itself.
the molecules of my cells wanted to get out of this black pit of anxiousness, but the gravity was too strong to escape
the overwhelming matter

my heart is a jackhammer that palpitates adrenaline-filled blood through the highways of my vessels,
as if one wrong turn would cause the vehicles of blood cells to collide with the walls of my arteries and veins 'til it ruptures.

my mind is a tornado formed by the hot and cold air of
worst-case-scenarios that ***** in whatever is left from the village of my sanity, leaving behind destruction and remnants of mental strain.

my muscles are ropes in a game of tug-of-war between opposing teams of stress and anxiety that tenses up the fibers of my being, causing burns across the length of back and leaving me unable to move,
until the only thing left it can do
is reach a breaking point that creates tassels of exhaustion

Oh, God. Please give me rest.
Self-expectations and pressures are exhausting my strength. Also, it’s exam season so the overwhelming amount information leaves me frozen and not knowing what to do.
xtine Apr 2019
how sad is it that
false promises and false expectations
are what i expect to come
This isn't necessarily for a dating scenario. This also applies to all the friends who I wish would consider my feelings too.
xtine Apr 2019
why do i keep longing for your presence
when you've only been gone for a day?
please hurry back
.
.
.
.
i miss you
He's gone for a few weeks, but I really miss him here.
Next page