I'm too despressed to notice I'm stressed out
Suppressed emotions inside, shouldn't let out
Seeing is believing but what I see isn't real
I am forced to accept these "realities" and ignore the way I feel

I don't mean to sadden, entertain, bore, or aggravate,
For a decade I find that this is how I communicate
The only way I can precisely speak out on the unhealthy pleasures
As the chemicals of my brain, they fornicate

These levels of relationships aren't supposed to be
It'll **** me sometime later, look at how it has ruined my personality
Seeing is believing, but you won't believe what I see
How can I act 'normal' when you won't acknowledge I can't do 'human being'

My animalistic compulsions are fuelled by my failing brain functions
Don't get too close cause I'll try to bite, I sympathise for your flesh when I malfuntion
Don't be scared, I'm not canibalistic, I just like to use my teeth
Humans scare me, I must defend myself, uh, I mean, to smile and eat

I'm not afraid to say it, but I'm scared when I'm saying it, I have to say
I have been observing your mundane human actions, I really don't want to be put away
I always feel foreign, alienated, out-of-place
But because I'm "considerate," I have to bite my tongue to save me some face

I'm too stressed out to notice that I'm depressed
Wanting mental soundessnes, yes, peace, my hallucinations don't give me rest
My taughts speed down their highway, my delusions are always a-fest
They inflict beneath my exterior, but for the public eye, I wear a crest

"I wear my skin well, don't you think?" I lie, becuase it ill-fits
I am totally normal, "I'm fine." Can't change the fact I'm a misfit.
The beams that bear my bag of meat rust and thus begin to weaken
The lethal sagging's caused by the mental luggage, I'm not heard, even though I'm speaking

Many persons think that I'm overly paranoid, I must admit, that I am
You would be the same way too, if about your health, no one ever gives a ****
Help doesn't come, because their 'laters' always becomes 'nevers'
I am not that superhuman, can't keep myself together, forever

They claim that they would help me, some way, somehow, but their actions never initiate
Someday, sometime, it would all be over, through a thorough death physical or mental
Oh yes, I'm still believing, you can't accuse me of not having faith.
I look forward to my healing, but all the while, my brain chemicals fornicate.

Lost lives, lost in living hells
reminders everyday of the scars that tell
more than words could speak
just tips of icebergs, oh.. if only they could talk...

i, - salute the wounded healers-
only taughts to heals, because they began
by helaing themsleves.
and moving on - being bitter, wordless spits of grain in lips
and being an aching hearts so wide one would think they would die at any moment

and yet - there -  


there is solace

in the slowly ebbing  pain....day by day the cracks begin to tear...
and brightness burst forth - and hey , that may, take years moments , heartbeats stretching on
for the fallen undone,

and the breathless in San Diago
and the countless in New Delhi ,

and the scores and cores in the Congo

i salute all those still in the fight -
no matter how.

the haunting"

standing out here
in this silent night
a glare of the star gleams
to my silhoutte
like magnetic sparks on
an electric circuit
and i dream how we used to be

a sound of your voice
with that crooked smile
reappear in my taughts
like i'm being hypnotised

and i hear you calling my name
with gentle and sappy lips

i miss the aroma of your
pleasant fragrance
that smells like spring roses
of kabuye

i dream nestled in your hands
on that curly lines sliding me side to side

i miss your softest skin
with tiny pores
brilliant like wedding flowers

i hate the day you left,
a shadow that brought me sorrow
one of the things i regret
but it lavitates in my veins

you are my confinement
i want to break the rules
and beg for one more chance

there is no chance to stop
the immersing you,
because i've failed to defeat the haunting you.

You look familiar, lying down the ground
Taughts of you years back
Flows through my mind
Words to describe your journey, I can't define
For infinitely you move around
Change from one objectif to another
Bravely you accept your faith
Speechless you endure the trend

Suiside upon instruction
Through institution
By relation to another
And being bared upon
By your own misfiring soul

A shaky exit ;
Lonely
Or lonely, with company
Approach The Pig Empty
With a mind and not a rattle
; a pressure of Taughts

  in loving nothing
  glove oblivion
  a pardon from suffering ?
  a finite mime

       Signed   - a guest

Taken way too soon,
I'm not at all who I used to be,

Shifting in glass box,
My past is nothing more than just a dream?

Now I feel the taughts of Disease growing once again.

I'm powerless to change my fate,
But in the end, I'll be shelthered,
Once again.

With judgements torn,
If you listen really close,
You can hear me sing my songs...

No, they can't give me back the mind I had,
But I don't have to suffer on my own,
Even if I'll never find my home,
I'm not alone,
I'm not alone?

In my little world,
Forever lost to passing time.

They don't knows what it's like to wear the masks
That they trapped me inside.

One day the cold clouds hovering over me'll
Begin to fade.

Then I'll be free to cut your strings,
Cry no more tears,

But for now, I walk,  enchained.

Under the moon light
Without your shade
Lonely with breezy winds
Recollect our older days
Things taughts you
Followed until last breathe
Spoken words are nailed
In my lub-dub heart
Lovable fights, missing chats
Cried out of salty tears
In memorable of winked picture