"taciturnity" poems
it's there
in the silence
nightmares
are born
of
nothing
Jan 22, 2015
Jan 22, 2015 at 2:30 PM UTC
Dear one,
As the domino, I fall cascading on the drawing board. Why would one deny progression? A furtherance , the ebb and flow. I remain up beat and spirited as I read your letters. It's like a barred barricade is being lifted.Your glowing light is charging me. Certainty is liberating, the riding of the waves have become a skill that I have engrossed. The tides spread from shore to shore and I must anchor. I am ever grateful for your deliberation in regard to my current affairs. Your magnanimity is greatly appreciated.
As I am
Enormous, bountifulness of free spirit. Episodes of taciturnity alternated by sequences of thrill are remarkably felt. The higher level linking is simultaneous , coordinated and equidistant. As life propels, years progress a resemblance of energy is greatly congruent. The conforming compatibility of the absolute is evident. Transpiration of what once known yet unknown surfaces, erupts and consolidates a new meaning. A renewed existence, a recovered emergence solidifies. These moments are so evident, abundantly and vehemently felt on every fibre,bone and muscle of my being. Right to the core of my soul, my very existence.
On the tangent of thoughts........"J" the jewel... the forgotten treasure. What happened to the nature trueness that stroked your mind? The non win compromises aren't spontaneous. We must realign.... we must.
Vous êtes magnifiquement merveilleux et excellent en tous les moyens possible.
You sure do give me the butterflies......
You hold me in skies high above.
I can't control the butterflies.........
Is it just a flutter ?
To progress as you progress.....
SassyJ
Inspired by........
Natasha Bedingfield (Soulmate)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P27MPi3ZhCg
Dec 25, 2015
Dec 25, 2015 at 2:35 PM UTC
A world convulsed at fallacious lies,
With a pensive reality,
And caliginous skies.
A night as dark as the depths of hell,
Malignant capabilities,
Your sinister voice I know too well.
Due to your influence,
I have become oblique.
Dreading all the words
That you speak.
Am I truly the one you seek?
Now I have prospected
and also detected
That the only way to be consummate
Is to remain idyllic, and appreciate
The taciturnity you’ve effected
I apprehended
That I should have escaped while I could
But I pretended
Like I misunderstood
That you were do good.
You insanity was cloaked by a hood.
I’m not endorsing you to deliver my downfall,
Aforementioned here, is my last stand.
Absent from reality I’ve become,
Just to plummet down this peak once more,
Due to the careless vivacity
of the fellow that is blind,
to his doings unkind.
And now, all you do is provoke
The constant fear that I have chosen
the wrong bloke.
And for this I have frozen
A friendship that was golden.
I really shouldn’t crave you
but for some reason
I can’t abdicate.
Jan 17, 2012
Jan 17, 2012 at 11:43 PM UTC
maybe he left his wedding ring in your **** by accident
that night when you told me
you wanted me to **** you
wearing his sordid black suit but
it was about four sizes too big and his
heart was four rooms too small.
i forget that the anthropoid chassis
possessed no ****** limitations.
and yet you were there,
wailing out cherries and
casuistry and swollen
macabre in absinthian
vinegar, wearing the dress
that i hate.
you have weak wrists,
you bruise by blue tuesdays.
--
maybe i left my gun in your **** by accident
that night when you told me
only love and explosives
got you off. i of course, went
for the least dangerous.
you forget that the anthropoid intellect
possessed no sadistic co-existence.
i'm just an ulcer when i am
inside you. you scratch me raw
and you make me
take off that face
that you hate.
my poetry lingers tight-lipped in taciturnity,
keeping you wet on your deathbed.
Nov 19, 2010
Nov 19, 2010 at 4:49 AM UTC
The Man is lying naked.
This filthy pavement is his abode.
The Man is emaciated and famishing.
And he never begs for alms,
Proud and conceited.
The road is busier than ever.
No one takes interest in him.
No one catches a glimpse at him.
And a few feign not having seen him at all.
The time fleets on, the cars move on,
The Man is lying naked.
At the first blush, far from being a beggar
Is the Man.
He is well-complexioned with big glamorous eyes.
His face is sleek and his hair shines against
The lustrous sunbeams.
His eyes are gleeful, but mournful is his heart.
Penniless though, his craving for gold is sheer.
He ogles at the gold brought by the people around.
But he never begs for alms,
Proud and conceited.
Then someone nears him and asks who he is.
After much vacillation, he dismisses his taciturnity.
“Mankind is my name”, he replies.
The time fleets on, the cars move on,
The Man is lying naked.
Aug 23, 2016
Aug 23, 2016 at 2:17 AM UTC
These words:
"Deafy!"
******
*****
"Flithy ***
"Freak!"
Then the pain:
A crack against my jaw,
Stars bursting before me
And flooding my vision
With red and gold and orange.
Spinning,
Stumbling,
Falling through the air.
A punch to the stomach
Robs me of my breath,
Leaving me gasping for air,
Helpless,
Winded,
Stranded.
Cheeks burn with a fire
As though laced with petrol
And set alight.
Pain courses through my body,
Sapping me of strength.
Cruel laughter as sharp as knives
Cuts through the air
And deep into my flesh,
As cold as steel.
Haunting,
Echoing through my mind
And rebounding inside my skull.
Where have I fallen?
What have I done?
I have done nothing wrong.
My deafness
And the words dancing,
Gliding,
From my reach,
I cannot control.
My intellect and emotions
Are strange,
Different,
Enigmatic.
My speech is shaky
As I strive for words,
Words within the tumbled mass
Of my mind.
These almond shaped eyes,
My nose, with a strange structure:
Not quite Chinese
Nor English;
I did not choose.
My love for him
And my love for her
Make me a vulnerable target.
My short hair
And masculine nature
And determination to be a boy
Separate me,
Exclude me and expose me to
The taunts
And the teasing;
The shoves,
The pushes.
The crowding and the touching
Until I scream, tear my vocal chords
And burst my lungs:
"Leave me alone!"
Spinning,
Falling,
Stumbling
Against the force.
Tears burning my eyes,
Cheeks burning
Against the pain.
Skin leaking blood
From the scratches
Inflicted by nails.
Where do I stand in this?
I am the blunt of your anger,
I know for sure.
Anger
That is not my responsibility.
A recipient of hatred
For aspects
That I cannot control.
My world crumbling,
Self-confidence shattering,
Spiraling into depression,
Depths of suicide
And self-loathing.
Taciturnity
And numbness.
Until the world is nothing
More than a blurred picture,
Far from my grasp.
Please, tell me:
What have I done wrong?
How have I hurt you?
Why do I deserve this?
For I do not understand.
Where have I fallen?
What have I done?
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 5:29 PM UTC
Bright lights,
Sharp sounds,
Overwhelming -
A world of confusion.
Swarming crowds
Mouths move silently:
Floating words
Dancing from my reach.
Chaos and disorder
No routine,
No order.
A world without sense,
No head nor tail.
No direction.
Encased in liquid diamond.
Trapped,
Lost,
Outcast,
Stranger.
Who am I?
What am I?
Taciturn,
Mute,
Fragile.
Words tangled,
Mind scrambled,
No beginning or end.
Skin contact
Burns like wildfire.
Eye contact
Disconcerting.
Emotionless,
Without ****** expression.
Ravaging emotions inside
With no left or right;
No stigma, no control.
I am not a psychopath
Nor a sociopath.
But an enigma,
A paradox
Yet to be understood.
A lost jigsaw piece,
From a world of order,
A world of routine
And understanding.
Flung into a world
Of chaos and disorder.
An insane world
Of alienation,
Rejection
And pain.
Laughter and cruel taunts,
As sharp as knives:
"You're in your own world;
You don't belong here.
Go back to where you came from,
And stay there!"
My world:
No chaos, no disorder.
Routine and repetition.
A world without hurt
And pain.
It's my place to escape to,
My world
And my world only.
A jigsaw puzzle
That no one else can solve.
My shield and shell.
But my descending spiral
Into loneliness,
Sadness
And taciturnity.
A constant tug of war
Between my world and reality.
A will to break free
Of my misunderstood mind,
And to be like them:
The "normal" people.
To be able to speak
Of my own free will,
To not be trapped
By periods of muteness.
To be free of routine
And repetition.
Fear pulls me back
Hurls me back to my world:
A world of safety,
Warmth,
And sense.
Away from the bright lights,
Away from the sharp sounds.
Engulfed by soothing darkness,
Immersed in the comforting silence.
No more crowds.
Just me and myself,
No other company.
I am irregular:
Chaos walking,
A living bomb.
You are regular:
A jigsaw piece,
A part of this world,
A world of madness
And confusion.
Teach me,
The cogs and wheels
Of this world.
Teach me to be like you -
To speak,
Catch those dancing words
And to read
Those face expressions:
The meaning of a smirk,
The definition of a frown,
The significance of a wince.
Intellect, emotions and empathy.
To operate without routine.
No repetition.
And I'll teach you,
How my world works,
How the pieces
Fit and bind together.
The clockwork,
And the never ending echoes.
And at last
A spark of hope,
A beginning.
The mark of a new era,
An era of understanding,
And conveying.
No more questions,
No more confusion.
We can finally fit together,
And at last,
I am a part of your jigsaw puzzle.
Normality
Is all I want.
Functioning in normality,
To function
In this insane world.
A world of madness and confusion.
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 1:32 PM UTC
1
held against the mouth
sentenced cleaved to silence, what is around me
is all this is: wire. quartet of birds. aqueduct
as arrest and close range tap of rain on face
rippling in the eye foreclosed and reasoned is
this image's return -- what is it like to live
far away from home and not hear me say
regret as study of attitude? News carried
bombardment of inner cities. We were hesitant
to leave place and borrowed skin instead,
if not borrowed then grasped for, what is the answer? if coordinates lie, what are
we trying to discover.
2
held against the temple
not a barrel of a gun, but similarly, a chamber if not
a mouth breathing in sulfur. the day has spun
out of, and in between clipped reminders of
the calendar:
today's broken notes on the tablatures are
the daily. Do groceries. Pick the freshest fruit,
take the sour out of the scale. Gut the fish
and not word it so over the kitchen counter, I will
watch behind a clutter of earthenware and furniture. Might topple the glass
once and catch your attention. I do not deny your
effect on my soul.
3
today's forecast of rain is body staying in.
the children are seized by terror as scattered displays of lightning paint their faces
petrified with a lack of hue -- listen to the
intermittent, coarse static of the television
when it happens, your face ripe for arrest.
there is nothing to do in a home
holding its breath when you walk,
do not leave just yet. the water is rising.
it tells you to stay in. triple your presence
across the dining, rain as if out of the shower
barely drying yourself, leave water
i will not drink, only test swimmingly
a dream out of sleep and so real
a twitch of fish out of ocean.
4
outside you are no longer than the transit
of birds seeking canopies. Wind disrupts
the steady arm of cables. Slosh of water
from an oncoming vehicle as if beside the
sea crashing into me are waves,
What need is there when your mouth houses
water, your ******* warmth? Contrast as
habit of alternatives. In verbatim, this is how it
sounded from you, "We are very young.
Remember me this way."
Now i wish voices could be bodies. The next irreconcilable face as hearth.
Fingers as assuage, distance as dearth,
grasp if not borrow, translatable to
signal, my body heeding, fraught by taciturnity through the caught wind
through the furniture, once your body being groped for like any
other sundrenched day.
May 21, 2016
May 21, 2016 at 6:31 AM UTC
I can feel myself slipping
From this world
And slowly sinking
Into the depths of darkness –
Watching those familiar faces
Fade from my grasp
Instead becoming consumed
By confusion,
Fear
And muteness.
The iron bars of my cage.
Plunging into my thoughts,
A never ending sea of blackness.
Slowly suffocating
As the barriers fortify
Around my mind.
A cry, a scream for help
As I pound at the strengthening barriers:
Someone help me!
Let me out of here!
Before taciturnity robs me
Of my speech.
Routines and repetitions,
And my own world engulfs me.
Muteness and trembling.
Please, Taci, speak!
Your voice, the panic, the worry
As you grasp my shoulders
And shake me
With an unknown fear
As if to break me from this state.
Why can’t you speak?
My own eyes wide
As I stare at you,
Dumbfounded and fearful.
Sinking deeper into the depths
Of my mind:
Slipping further and further
Into routines and obsessions.
Voices are faded, from another world,
Alien and vague
Spoken in another language.
Incomprehensible and of no meaning,
No use to me!
You watch me on the other side
Of the invisible barrier;
Your hand blocked from my reach.
No matter how hard,
How much you want to help
And try,
Nothing can be done
To stop me from
Slipping through your fingers.
I gaze from afar
Through the tiny window of my mind.
Watching you all laugh, smile and cry.
What do your emotions mean?
What are they for?
What do your face expressions mean?
I am not built for this world:
Too fragile and brittle.
One hit and I'll smash
Into a million billion shards.
My obsessions
Perceived as ecccentric.
My way of speaking -
The shakiness in my voice
And the muteness
Deemed abnormal.
I am an alien becoming more alien.
My language and my mind
Both unsolved paradoxes.
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 4:21 PM UTC
I've seen your face
for quite a while.
Your handsome looks
would make me smile.
You're very sweet
like chocolate cake.
One taste of you would
cause a stomach ache.
Your deep dark eyes
would cause a trance.
If only I could
have the chance
To tell you without words.
I love you
as it's clear to see.
I always thought
that it was meant to be.
I have a case
of taciturnity,
but I know we'd last
for eternity.
Aug 1, 2018
Aug 1, 2018 at 11:41 AM UTC
.
To overcome, relinquish
and forget,
black – hearted eyes, as well as innocent,
feigned words of solace
and bitter embrace.
To forget the joys, affections and desires,
hardship and bliss,
friends and enemies,
smiles and tears and prayers.
To be insincere.
To write no more verses.
To trust not a soul.
To understand no one and naught.
To forgive not.
To pass a verdict ‘pon oneself of
remoteness and taciturnity.
And soar towards the glistening
of Cosmic dark infinity.
Saša Milivojev
Translated by Ljubica Yentl Tinska
Oct 21, 2019
Oct 21, 2019 at 2:30 AM UTC
Adrenaline pulses through my veins;
My heart is ready to beat
As I leap from the edge of the cliff.
My once bound wings unfurl
Catching the air and lifting me upwards,
Upwards to my freedom.
The bonds have broken:
The chains of deafness shattered,
And the ropes of autism snapped.
Gone are the dancing words
That slide from my grasp;
Gone is the suffocating silence
That once formed the iron bars of my cage.
No more confusion – chaos and disorder;
No barrier that separated me
From the crowds.
Socialisation, ****** expressions, emotions
Together form a language
That I can now truly understand!
“There will always be a light
At the end of the tunnel.”
"Don't dream it; believe it!"
Words spoken a few months ago,
Filled with hope and love
That would save my descending
And spiralling world.
Laughter, my laughter
Streams beside me
As I rocket through the air
Towards the rising sun:
My future, my hope.
No more misunderstanding;
No more enigma or taciturnity!
Nothing will stop me
From fulfilling my dreams now
And belonging to this world!
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 1:50 PM UTC
*The only one by my side was my shadow
and my only comfort therefore was my mind
Too much distress I wanted to voice and let go of -
but my mouth thought it too selfish a crime.*
Aug 10, 2015
Aug 10, 2015 at 3:40 PM UTC