It's something in the chemicals, it makes the "miss you's" come out when you're drunk. Really, we're all liquor store kisses --- things you can't tell your parents. My drink is a little too strong, making my lungs feel like their filled with wasps. I'm a mess, is that what you call it? When someone says "don't cry" but you cry harder. Everyone's talking all they want around me, but I'm not listening. Lies, lies, lies. But, the lies are only good when you're telling them. I need help, aka a wedding for all the things I've lost in my eighteen year old life. The morning vomits evening colors from hearing your name. Like I'm vomiting-out all the broken promises you ever made to me. Your eyes reminded me of the prettiest diamonds, what did mine remind you of? Loose change? I need to do laundry, but I'm too lazy. I'm living in a wastebasket of flashbacks. I'm driving home tonight, alone, not sobber. I won't grip my steering wheel tightly, I won't wear my seatbelt, I won't use my breaks. I'll remember the amount-less number of drinks I've drank, slightly. But, they were no mistakes. I'm good at pretending my life is in order, but clearly it's not. This isn't who I want to be anymore, I hate the remembrance of you. I think getting drunk will help, but that only makes the remembrance worse, and I keep thinking about our first kisses --- and how they tasted --- how they drained the color out of every living thing --- how ladybugs decided to make their homes in the palms of our hands --- how it wasn't hard to forget that we have an unbearable amount of seconds left on this planet.
(k.m.m)

august was in a drought
a literal burden to my thoughts
i thought i was gonna die out
but here standing on my way out

add my name to your medal tray
i was your eleventh or twelfth prey
once your gold in the bay
then only a ghost in your days

has come the september
i hope no more sobber
that person could’ve been better
but then proven to be disaster

and time is ticking
here i'm hoping
it will erase every single thing
cause i won’t hold on to nothing

and i might live with the pain
but it will heal under the rain
it's foolish to believe you were a saint
but one day what you plant is what you gain

Must be slightly crazy and have  the  marbles to fill the spot of
a semi sobber  madman called Gonzo.
Must be good at  starting **** and keeping people laughing.

Most be mildly atractive and  really good looking
with the lights off with a buzz.

Must be willing to comment on poems and say cheers.
must be able to pass out behind a bar and write misspelled gems on bar napkins

And most of all to be the one to make people forget
there problems for awhile and share the spirts of wild turkey
can you replace  Gonzo?

If your crazy enough to try
Then step right up and reply.

Well it's a hell of a feeling and a sour deal.
Hangover wreaks havoc apon my gut.
Numb my thoughts to everything i feel.


She's got her reason's I got mine.
Hours between us.
Sunrise please dont find me sobber.
Or leave me busted near that florida state line.


Drinking with the devil satan give me such heck.
My life's a play.
My soul a well thought out trainwreck.

Well big hip gal wont ya warm this bed.
Cause ya know tommorows a gift.
So let's do something to remind tombstone
he isn't yet dead.

Work that back sugar dont think twice.
Little gals may be the norm.
But thoose sticks break so easy and thoose big gals
just feel so nice.

Southern are my ways New York's far from my mind.
Todays a scratch.
So thats why im leaving my wicked past behind.

Smoked and drank tonights pay.
Big gal i love ya.
But as for a drifters soul and me ya know i can never stay.

Found my troubles in mean angry eye's  knocked
thoughts apon the deck.
My life's a gamble.
As in the rhymes of a full tome ****** and a
well thought trainwreck.

***** pills and that naughty no no known as drugs
hell if you do anything your addict ever see the sobber ******
down at the local mall?

Kids screaming wife *******   you catch the eyes of  the so called
happy *******  who looks like one more scream laced cry
is gonna make him flip and   create some  drama for the evening news .

Yeah happiness sure smells like misery to me.
Id rather  drink and **** till I fall out dead than
live the dream that looks more like a nightmare.

Taking pills not to strangle some misreble ***** to death.
Meanwhile she's greezing your brakes trying to to talk ya in to going to see the grand cannyon.

Ever been there?
Yeah a big *** ditch with a bunch of  annoying picture taking ******
yeah i'll snap a pic of ya okay step back ,back okay like a few more steps  well ya fell of the ledge  ya silly *******.
Guess it's cool to keep the camera.  

Ive been to scores seems the sights were more dam grand and
the drinks a hell of alot better.

Ever wake up to the dam TV blaring some early morning
horse ****?
Some dam annoying tiny voiced ******* talkin to the kids.
Look they got the net they get knocked up and make a show about it
something tells me you can cut the ******* act.

16 and pregnant wow  what genius  more like when
horney *******  attack  hey heres a brainstorm
birth control  not that some over emotional half wit
doesnt need a kid   hell   cant wait to see thoose offsprings
hey mom wanna go on a double date to the prom?

Happiness it cost to dam much and love will give ya
heart burn.

Speaking from the storm  the madness is the perfect place to be.
The roads movement takes my mind from diffrent stages none of
which are sobber.

Like some acid test reject being told I've already had to much
when I hadnt even taken a single hit.
Oh  well  catholic  school was long behind me.

And reflecting apon sister  Mary I question  why any man would hold such a bizzar  fantasy  although  after that first beating when
I screamed out ****** woman  lets knock off the forplay
give me that paddle  no wonder the poor woman was shocked.

Thoose years  were great till they finally passed me **** how I was looking forward to my tenth prom  people see a grown man
at there door a case a beer under one arm  and some strange
flower thing in the other  asking for there seventeen year old daughter  and they assume your some kind of pervert.

Dam you Chris Hansen.
Yes then you turn to dating teachers but there only interested
in the  younger one's  ****** woman   wait hey  you used to be
in my class now your a teacher  growing up.
Ive herd most people are into it   but  that doesnt sound like
much fun.


But  now  that it was voted i could no longer go to summer camp.
Cause of legal issues   I have to join this  grown up world.
But like my best friend Timmy said life  really ***** sometimes
Gonzo.

Yes Timmy you are wise for a ten year old  you know you really shouldnt be drinking   that mix of cookies ***** and red bull
is a wicked one indeed   trust me I learned that at three.

Well  as I down six heinekens  take a few uppers  chop a line
down seven shots of wild turkey just to take the edge off befor work.

I fix my tie  and **** it up.
cause that school bus isnt gonna drive itself.
That and thoose kids parents  are goona be worried.
Sometimes thoose field trips just get outta hand.

Hell they needed to brush up on there spanish.
Well untill  this is Gonzo saying stay crazy and avoid being caught sober  blame it on the *****  adios.

While I crawled in the arms of my tender sleep,
Having said a little prayer,
Dreaming of reality's dread.

Mama stayed awake trying to let you out.
Sweating and fighting all the pain and strains,
And hoping you would be out soon.

Daddy kept saying little prayers and signing songs of praise in his heart.
He awaited for your arrival,
It was soon enough until you surfaced the earth.

They both couldn't wait to have you in the palm of their hands
And see your sparkling eyes open up to reality's dread.

But do not worry you little one,
For we are all here for you.
To protect you from the devouring spirits,
And every other wicked spiritual realm;

Rock of Victory youth will never let you sobber in pain in our site,
Nor let any bully bring down your flaws.
We are willing to support you all the time.

Mommy and Daddy will always keep you happy,
And they will never leave you behind.
They will groom you to be mommy and daddy's little girl.
They shall always keep you warm in the dark,
And in comfort during the storms.

The Lord shall become your refuge and your strength,
He will shower you with blessings,
An pour his wisdom upon you.
He shall lead you into the narrow gates,
And forever shall he be your fortress.

Our deep breaths we have been holding for too long have been released into the thin air.
And from them we have found an atmosphere of celebration.
With little words to describe my happiness,
I am so greatful to be amongst those to celebrate the gift of life that God has presented to you.

Nolwazi J Mabilisi®

My boy is gone, my life is over,
drunk so much alchohal never to be sobber.
i miss you,  miss your laugh,
that i know fast, I loved you bro dearly,
but you left me behind. I want you back,
this my brother is a fact. But i know your gone, so I
must let you go, Its hard to live without you,
this i will i know is true.

I bet you are pretty,
You have to,
You have a perfect shape and body,
Please turn, would you?

You one of those polite kind,
Soft voice with a wild mind,
I hope you're not a spoiled child,
So please turn around,

I have to see your face,
Its not about beauty,
I just want see your glance,
I hope you turn for the sake of me,

The ride is almost over,
And so far u havent dropped on any stops,
I hope you stay and keep my head sobber,
Or turn so I can start over...

my heart is sobber and stabbed, that pain that i felt when i  first broke up with you, i know that you are deeply hurt you lost a part of you i swear that i was clumzy, i always dreamt about our love being forever, together forever that was the plan im deeply in love with you but do you love me?? am i fooling myself by saying i love u? ? im not i always loved you please love me back

I LOVE YOU NOLWAZI