dream not of winters, gentle storm
       let rosy summer whispers warm
your thunder heart, restitched and torn
       by fleeting waters
                        silence-born.

I've escaped cupid's clutches many times
I locked my heart away each time he came to say "Here you go"
He shoots his arrows at me, and I block them away
Except for a couple days ago..
My wall had fallen and my heart was broken
"Here you go"
Though I was upset about this, my heart suddenly restitched and I've fallen in love again
Now I feel like I've been sentenced to death
Each moment spent that I can't look into those big, beady eyes of his, I'd rather be dead
I'm just scared to get broken again
But, ****, his smile brings all of butterfly world into my stomach
And I can't stomach the fact that I'm plummeting into my own mind's demise
"He'll hurt you like the others" My brain claims
Yet, my heart says otherwise.
I've avoided cupid many times
However, I know I can't evade my fate
So, in this state of mind,
I'm fully bonded by this Boa constrictor of hopes and doubts
Or maybe I'm just overthinking
Maybe I should just listen to cupid for once

i think i made you up in my sleep
the way you weave in and out so inconsistently
of my life with your broken promises
you left me
alone;
a single word that can drive a man to madness
alone:
what drove me to madness
yet, one day i didn't feel--
alone
i restitched the seams in my wrists
i rewound my brain
and i rewired my heart
some days i can almost feel
and your memories bring bliss
i'm no longer
alone
yet i haven't overcome the
loneliness

In the beginning you gave me a white
Teddy Bear to symbolize our Pure
Honest Love for each other
And it felt so right.
--------------------------------------------------
Ever­y night I snuggled close
Wishing soon I would be snuggling
Close to you.
-------------------------------------------------
One day we started fighting over
Something stupid. You got ******
And called me a *****. I cried so
Much that night, I need relief
So I cut once, twice, thrice times.
------------------------------------------------
Later that night I took my blood and
Stained the bear under the eyes and
Trailed it all the way down the face
Like you made my tears trail down
My face.
-----------------------------------------------
The next day I saw you with another
And my heart broke a little. I had
Confronted you and you said it was a
Friend nothing to worry about. But
I knew better so my heart broke a little
More.
-----------------------------------------------
I went home and cut, cut, cut took the
Blood and stained a giant red splotch
Over where my heart would be....
------------------------------------------------
Saw you again and watched you kiss
Another I saw red and walked away.
You came to find me and acted like an
Angel, you said Babe, I love you with
all my heart I knew you were lying but
Said Okay Babe
------------------------------------------------
Went home and cut, cut, cut and finally
I cut and restitched the bear staining it
With my blood everywhere I cut.
------------------------------------------------
I came to you the next day Teddy Bear
In hand I gave it to you and said Here's
A piece of me, it's name is The not so Wight
Teddy Bear Hope you enjoyed toying
and abusing cause I had fun cutting and renewing.
-------------------------------------------------------­--------------

A broken heart still loves
Not in the way a whole or healed heart loves

A broken one spills love
like a bleeding, broken, bird.
A pail that's sprung a leak.

And it loves.
Yes.
it cannot seem to stop...
but like that pail, it loses
Wilts until it drops.

A broken one is
a heart unraveling.
A story unwriting
A life
unwoven and waiting.

To be refilled.
Restitched.
Healed.

Yes, a broken heart does love.

It’s all manifested
I can trace back to then
I was just a boy
Trusting my heart
Stumbling upon life’s hards truth
This parasite burrowed, deeper and deeper as I aged
Living in the dark corners of my mind
Somehow I found it to be a friend
It was solid
My whole life happiness was borrowed
Time would run its course for the things I cherished
youth, loved ones, crushes, anything that made me smile
Where did I go wrong?

this little buddy though
I still had him
We shared loss,
We learned from it

Laughter, voices, embraces
All Pigments of fading memories.
Everything just leaves
Scrambling through grieve to make sense of it all but i just can’t.
Love must never die.
Still,
We must.
To celebrate old times is a toast to a funeral.
When does right and wrong become apparent in these states
When does insanity and normality become neighbors
Fearful, reflection and complexion go their separate ways
Weak and fragile I weigh my knees
Cold and motionless
My friend had reached my heart.
Feeding off everything I had left.
I became numb.
Every day was yesterday and tomorrow was today.
Slowly, I lifted myself
I kept falling
In a hot sweat
I lost what was most important
I lost myself

This is my life, embedded pain.
A screech rings through my head.
In the hazy fog I hear a feint scream
Begging and pleading for me.
There’s a flickering light
I feel my heart begin to pound
I can almost touch it.

Until the screech echoes again

I’m living in a war
hiding under the beautiful eyes I’ve been gifted

Sleepless nights have restitched my tone
I hide the agonizing sorrow like a gun

Truly listen
You may just find me