"reluctancy" poems
Absent are the people
I truly believed were there.
Absent is my sympathy,
To truly love and care.
Absent is the one,
Whom directly I talk to.
Absent is the name,
I rather just call 'you.'
Absent is your presence
In a friendship that you played a part.
Absent is the love
You claim is within your heart.
Absent are the words,
I long to let pour off of my tongue.
Absent is our future,
Though, we are still young.
Absent are the reasons
For all of the swift ends.
Absent are the people,
I once had called my friends.
Absent are my thoughts,
That figures this all out.
Absent is my voice,
To whisper, talk or shout.
Absent is my courage,
To tell you about my pain.
Absent are the benefits
I would ever wish to gain.
Absent is the trust,
In whom I grew to know.
Absent is your reluctancy,
That wanted me to go.
Absent are the smiles,
That once sat upon my face.
Absent are my memories,
Of the times you showed no grace.
Absent is the understanding,
I hope we'll come to, yet.
Absent are the days
I never want to forget.
Absent is the truth,
That solves all of this mess.
Absent are my mistakes,
You could forgive no less.
Absent is the happiness,
I once felt deep inside.
Absent is you,
Right here by my side.
Absent is the person,
I could never quite love more.
Absent is his existence,
For he's not who he was before.
Absent is my knowledge,
To explain all in one poem..
Absent is my ability
To climb right up to Heaven,
And bring you safely home..
Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014 at 2:29 PM UTC
A tryst between the ring master's daughter and his young apprentice
Goes unfulfilled by the reluctancy of the young man
And his unspoken, half assumed desire for the girl behind the cotton candy booth
But the ring master's daughter, with her quivering curls
Waits by the zoo tent all night
For a wisp of woebegone love
With a poor, handsome Circus Freak
Dec 13, 2012
Dec 13, 2012 at 11:53 PM UTC
whenever I take a step back
know that I am afraid
the past did not care for me
and I fear the future shan’t either
Jun 10, 2015
Jun 10, 2015 at 6:58 AM UTC
from my car in motion i saw
some shivering silhouette
with a soft glow like
the last drop of sunlight
breaking on the horizon
or a black cloud with a silver lining
head in hands, weeping into their palms
on the opposite end of a short tunnel
for a fraction of a second
and i was green with envy
over all of their emotion.
sick to my stomach of the apathetic
reluctancy to feel anything worthy of tears
if i could throw it all up,
and let it cover my skin
like a sick filled spit fountain
or acid rain
then at least i’d feel disgusted.
Oct 23, 2017
Oct 23, 2017 at 11:49 AM UTC
i camped out all night
just to catch sight
of your morning yawn
calling on the break of dawn
do not think i did not see
the moons reluctancy to leave
or the suns lustrous grin
at your appeased skin
if i asked your name
would you push me away
to be your friend, i aim
i will wait forever and a day
oh, please tell me your name
my thoughts exclaim
Jun 15, 2015
Jun 15, 2015 at 10:49 AM UTC
Sometimes,
Usually at the worst times,
It becomes painfully obvious,
How very different we are.
You're never going to love me
The way I love you.
And I'm never going to be the
Type of sane, the type of stable
That you want.
It isn't that we're not compatible.
It isn't that we don't love each other.
It is simply that
We are very, very different.
I realized this last night.
From our interactions.
From you barely showing affection.
Ftom you only kissing my lips five times since you got home.
From your reluctancy to provide me comfort.
From how the words "I love you" and "I need you" and "I want you around"
Kept getting caught in my throat
And instead came out
As mangled "I'm sorry"'s.
Because I am sorry.
I'm sorry I have loved you for so long.
I am sorry that I desire a love and affection from you
That it seems you cannot give.
That, at the very least, you cannot give to me.
I am sorry for trying to force my way through your walls.
I am sorry for trying to make you love me
The way I love you.
That was too much to ask.
I am sorry for relying on you.
I am sorry for trying to make you care for me
More than anyone really should.
I am sorry about all the problems I've given you.
All the pain I've caused.
I am sorry.
I can assure you, it will not happen again.
Sep 14, 2017
Sep 14, 2017 at 11:24 AM UTC
One thing I know you are not
Is hard to get lost in --
The vines of you stretch to engulf me
Tangled tightly in your hold
Nothing is left but for me to admire;
Give myself to you fully, willingly
Every ounce of you is a treasure
Beaming from the inside out
Or shining brightly on the surface
Even the parts of you I've not yet uncovered
Locked away in the box of your reluctancy
Could not dim how vividly you glow
And this is undeniable,
For you know you fill me with awe;wonder
Bewitching my being entirely
I long for all that is you;
[My heart grows tendrils that reach for her]
Dec 22, 2015
Dec 22, 2015 at 4:49 PM UTC
The atheist brother
Has a big mind
for a teen
And his parents
Do they ever know what goes on up there?
Their thoughts are barred away from his
Metal bars created by their own
Reluctancy
To understand, to comprehend, to attempt...
They want to keep with what they already know
And he
tries to discover the unknown
With books,with people, with a globalized community
of those who want- who need to learn more
The atheist brother
Has a big mind
for a human
Will we ever know what goes on up there?
We could
We should
Step out of these predetermined molds
of who
you were taught to be
Go out and want, and need to learn more
Jan 7, 2013
Jan 7, 2013 at 9:06 PM UTC
*it doesnt matter where it all started
it doesnt matter that the first conversation
we ever had
started about me enquiring
over some parma violets
what matters is
the first time he came to my house
he laid on my kitchen floor
and complained about the weather
what matter is
him complaining
over me
wanting to watch the notebook
what matters is
me feeling like
this whole thing is
slowly slipping
until he grabs me
and steadies my feet
and tells me
i was stupid
for walking on ice
what matters is
the lack of making love
but the connection
that exists
what matters is
not his cowardice
or my reluctancy
but the fact they both fit
so perfectly
hand in hand
what matters is
the way his hair
jolts round his face
and haircuts
dont make any difference
what matters is
the way he takes off his shirt
and scrunches up his face
when hes in pain
what matters is
the way he touches
all my belongings
and goes
on my computer
just to see
what i was doing last
what matters is
my mom likes him
and he's told his
all about me
what matters is
no labels
or commitments
or dates
but the way
we were sleeping
and he held me
and wouldnt let go*
Mar 19, 2014
Mar 19, 2014 at 4:12 PM UTC
A heart can die infinitely
It is the slowest death I know
A reluctancy to accept
The cold blooded ending
That it is indeed alone
A heart will not go quietly
Never has and never will
It knows that somewhere
In the midst of forgery
Someone will hear it screaming
That another heart
With scars that reflect its own
Will lean in to whisper
Those vivifying words
I need you to go on
Apr 14, 2014
Apr 14, 2014 at 12:33 AM UTC