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Qweyku Jul 2016
Believe
not
That familiar,
Wicked whisper

of

Dreams destruction.
Especially when it screams...

"You'll never achieve!"

For

'faith'

Is quantified as the
Intangible

&

Weighed as a tiny
Mustard seed.

Ending with...

Just
Believe.


~ QB
be an inspiration first to yourself and then to others
Qweyku May 2014
Hello again Melancholy.
Why are you so unkind to me?
Melancholy
Is it too much for joy to hover viciously above pain?
Melancholy
For my pain to be less than joy I would give you gold;
melancholy.
But you are too familiar and you know my kin.
Melancholy
Burden has aged my back, bent to understand;
Melancholy
That even in mirth the heart,
melancholy
can be forlorn.
Melancholy,
I would that you were just an acquaintance passing through;
melancholy.
But all your lies cling to me,
melancholy!
How to be rid of you?
Melancholy?!
Forced to see through the sting of blinded hearts’ tears, the eyes of
Melancholy.
Such, sweet, sad, silent, sadness is
Melancholy
My bitter friend masquerading as my enemy
melancholy.

~ QB
tangshunzi Jun 2014
Non ci sono dubbi .questo matrimonio rocce.E non solo perché si è tenuto nel piccolo locale impressionante conosciuta come Sedona.No .succede anche per caratterizzare un duo seriamente adorabile ( innamorati liceo .non meno ) .lussureggianti.fiori colorati da Jazz Bouquet e un ambiente sorprendente ( Creekside Inn ) che sarà una sorta di toglierà il fiato .Vedi tutto catturato splendidamente da Cameron \u0026Kelly Studio proprio qui .

ColorsSeasonsSummerSettingsAl FrescoInnStylesCasual EleganceRustic Elegance

Dal Cameron \u0026Kelly Studio .Samantha ha sempre voluto un matrimonio cortile e Creekside Inn è salito per l'occasione con i suoi prati ombreggiati .impetuoso torrente e opportunità per la famiglia di stare in una casa .Fratello Brenan ' più giovane abiti da sposa on line .Kyren ( QB corrente alla Northern Arizona University ) .citato durante il suo brindisi alla abiti da sposa corti coppia che sua Madre è sempreè eetting a luièperè ail suo o quello.èUn abiti da sposa corti giorno fece notare a lei cheèeRenan non è mai stato in difficoltà come questo quando aveva la mia età .èsua madre ha scherzato di nuovoè uUST gemmeèe in base a Samantha e quel soprannome è bloccato .Sam ha sorpreso anche il suo sposo con un segno per le ragazze di fiori per portare Detto quest

Sam aveva torte Bundt invece di torta nuziale regolare e Corn " Poe " per il dopo cena tratta .La cerimonia è stata accanto al torrente impetuoso e cocktail hour appena sopra il prato superiore.Gli ospiti assorbito un cocktail chiamato " Sedona Greyhound ".Mi è piaciuto molto il menu lavagna grande come ospiti camminavano attraverso un arco per entrare nella parte cena tenda della serata .Per i giudizi favori Sam aveva personalizzato coozies a ciascuna regolazione del posto .Tutti i



nomi delle tabelle sono da ristoranti dove la coppia aveva fatto la storia !
Da Sposa .Brenan e io siamo innamorati delle scuole superiori .Abbiamo cominciato ad uscire il nostro ultimo anno e siamo cresciuti insieme nel corso degli ultimi otto anni .Sono andato al UA e andò a ASU .in modo da poter dire che abbiamo una casa divisa e ancora discutiamo le nostre scuole .ma amiamo quando le nostre squadre giocano a vicenda .Abbastanza strano.ma noi chiamiamo a vicenda amici e nostri amici e parenti sanno questo soprannome .Quando mia madre mi chiedeva se eravamo fidanzati durante l'ultimo anno direi "No .siamo solo Budds . "Abbiamo fatto riferimento anche l'altro come Budd e si è bloccato con noi .Ci piace cavalcare le nostre biciclette insieme attorno a Tempe e andare in uno dei nostri posti preferiti Four Peaks per afferrare una birra .

Fotografo: Cameron \u0026 Kelly Studio | Dress : Monique Lhuillier | Catering : Dan Bistro | Coordinamento : Van Damme Matrimoni | Fiori : Jazz Bouquet | Tenda : Partito Classic Vacanze | Luogo : Creekside InnMonique Lhuillier è un membro del nostro Look Book .Per ulteriori informazioni su come vengono scelti i membri .fare clic qui
Sedona Wedding da Cameron \u0026 Kelly Studio_vestiti da sposa
Anais Vionet Oct 2023
It’s Sunday afternoon and several of us, Leong, Sunny, Anna, Lisa and her new BF Dave (well, he isn’t ‘new,’ he’s 26) and I are watching an NFL football game. The Eagles vs the Jets.

There’s a platter of wings, fries, celery and dips on the low-white table for grazing and everyone’s multitasking while watching the game. Leong, Lisa and I on iPads, Anna, and Dave are on laptops and Sunny has a book.

I’m rooting for the Jets, although they’re the underdogs and given little chance. Dave’s for the Eagles, he believes they’re SuperBowl bound and he may be right.

After every good Jets play, like a first down, or defensive tackle or a score, I start snapping my finger - like the dancing Jet hoodlums in ‘West Side Story’ and sing:

“When you're a Jet,
you’re a Jet all your life
all your kids will be Jets
and even your wife.”

When I did it the first time, Dave chuckled. Lisa patted his arm, saying, “You’ll get used to it.” I’ve only done it twenty or thirty times since then and everyone’s ignoring me.

“I could be a songwriter, you know,” I said, “just give up this life of college drudgery and hang with T-Swift”. No one denied my obvious talent.

A huge Eagles lineman bust through the Jets o-line, throwing QB Zach Wilson to the turf, “Jeez,” Anna said.
“That guy’s not an Eagle,” I protested indignantly, “he’s a condor.” I was hoping for a flag but none were thrown.

“I want some steak”, I announced suddenly, to no one and everybody, switching subjects as quickly as a brain synapse fires.
“Do you know,” I reasoned extemporaneously, “that a diet of nothing but healthy prime-rib or ribeye steak can practically eliminate the chance of coming down with mad-lettuce-disease?”

“Mad-lettuce-disease?” Sunny asked, looking up from her book with a smirk.
“Middle America,” I began, Leong groaned and Lisa rolled her eyes at Dave, who smiled.
“That’s where all our vegetables come from,” I said, “the red states on the electoral maps,” I clarified even further.

“Well, how can we explain simple, decent, hard-working people falling in love with a lying, craven, reality-TV huckster like Trump?” I asked rhetorically,  looking around for an answer. When no answer was forthcoming, I supplied it:
“Mad-lettuce-disease!” I proclaimed, “Those people are eating the ‘vegetables’ they grow!” Giving the word ‘vegetables’ the same scorn I might lavish on ‘cigarettes’.

“If we all just stuck to a healthy, all-steak diet, ‘Mad-lettuce-disease’ would fade away and America would be saved.” I concluded, like a lawyer finishing a summation to a jury.
I expected applause, or at least a few “Amens” but there were only a few grunts and maybe a chuckle.

On the screen, the Jets defense broke through the Eagles o-line and quarterback Jalen Hurts, under pressure, threw an interception. I jumped to my feet yelling,“YES!” and begin snapping again:

“When you're a Jet
you’re a Jet all the way
from your first sorry breath
to your last dying day”

I love football, and the Jets won!
JAM Apr 2023
gudarna avgudar oss.

"Eight Geats and twenty-two Norwegians
on an exploration journey from Vinland to the west.
We had camp by two skerries
one day's journey north from this stone.

[We] have ten men by the sea to look after our ships,
fourteen days' travel from this island.  
We were [out] to fish one day.
After we came home [we] found ten men red of blood and dead.“

“save [us] from evil."

A record of the delightful piece
They're going to play this evening

Ladies and gentlemen
Your attention please
And now, the moment we've been waiting for is here
I- I have something to tell you

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be
(Remember) Will be

The birth was like a fat black tongue
Dripping tar and dung and dye
Slowly into my shivering eyes

I might walk upright
But then again
I might still try to die

Never prayed, never paid any attention
Never felt any inflection
Never a lot of thought to life

"Che gelida manina,
se la lasci riscaldar.
Cercar che giova?

Al buio non si trova."

And yet From listening to records
i just knew what to do
I mainly taught myself
And, you know, i did pretty well
Except there were a few mistakes
But um, that i made, uh
That i've just recently cleared up
And i'd like to just continue to be able to express myself
As best as i can with this instrument
And i feel like i have a lot of work to do
Still, i'm a student - of the voice
And i'm also a teacher of the voice too

I believe in the future
I don't believe in miracles

Can it be true?!
It must be true, no doubt!

Life is going on as normally as ever
But suddenly something seems to have happened
Everybody seems to be staring in one direction
People seem to be frightened, even terrified

Some nights it just gets worse than others
Some nights, it just
Gets worse
I feel terrible
But what can we do?
I don't know
It's just, a feeling I've got
Like, something's about to happen
But I don't know what

I want everybody to understand this

"I don't understand"
echoes
"I don't understand"

There're a lot of things we don't understand either

Where do we come from, who are we
And where are we going
Eternal questions never answered

"We need answers from you
What- What did you expect to find?
What is going to be our future?
It- It's your responsibility to do something about it!"

Well, I, uh...
I have the key in my hand
All I have to find is the lock
Now listen to me, all of you!

I fly to the strangest lands

And i would like to able to continue
To let what is inside of me
Which is, which comes from all the music that i hear
I would like for that to come out
And it's like, it's not really me that's coming
The music's coming through me

The music's coming through me

It caught me so that I may never
rest from pwondarement;
I will drink life from the bees.
All tore-ments I have enjoy'd greatly,
have suffer'd greatly,
both with throwse that loved me,
and alone; on tear,
and when thro' thudding rents the cravy Haeades
Vent-teh-din-see. I am become a thought;
For all-ways growming with a hungry deadhead
Much have I heard and throwned—
poprieities of Brads and Janets
And spanners,
prime-hates, clowncils, reed-covernments,
Myself too.
threast, i am tonor'd of them all,--
And drunk delight of rattle with my tyears,
Far on the stinging pains of dramatic irony.
I am a partition of all that I have kept;
Yet all expeerientse is an ark
wherethro' gleams that unpondere'd mind whose margin craves
metaforever
and 'fore ever
when
eyes
groove

To see the wizard!

Wake up, the roughest
In the name of, birds fly
(the light, march)
Reach the wizard
Follow, follow, follow
-by league, birds fly

They move on tracks of never-ending light
Like neon beams
stardust

I see it when I look up at the night sky and I know
that yes we are part of this universe
we are in this universe but perhaps
more importantly than both of those things
is that the universe
is in us

And since we cannot escape mother nature
We attempt to placate it
Modern civilization stems from the simple act
Of placing seeds and plants into the ground
When the plants are ready for harvest
We invest so much time and energy in tending our plants
We must stay around to enjoy the fruits of our labor

we can hear her voice whimper,
as wind through leaves,
while we speak:

Cara bella, cara mia bella!
Mia bambina, o Chell!
Ché la stimo...
Ché la stimo.

O cara mia, addio!
La mia bambina cara,
Perché non passi lontana?
Sì, lontana da natura,
Cara, cara mia bambina?
Ah, mia bella!
Ah, mia cara!
Ah, mia cara!
Ah, mia bambina!
O cara, cara mia...

Mia cara!
Ah, mia cara!
Ah, mia bambina!
O cara, cara mia...

Orville and Wilbur
Cold cut the anchor's from their ankle
Carving propellers from whale fins
In the back of a bicycle shop...
And thus begins the tale
Of the thumb trigger cloud ****
At last the Wright's reinvented the horse with wings
Another invention only fit for a mannequin

And One by one the angels fell
Ode had sent a horrible plague of deaths
Why do you think that Ode would do a thing like that?

Well, You put a veil up when you
Took all your things underground
You covered your own footprints
So no one saw you hide
You heard Ode treading in the
Shadows of the sycamore
You turned to Ode and you said
"I will learn nothing from you"

And so it was that Memories burn
On the black and white horizon
Of your knowledge of
What was never said
you've had enough of the road
That was laid along beside you
Like a lover meant
For another bed
And so you left in the morning
And all that's left behind you
Are the fading frames
That you've got instead

And I tried to keep my distance as
Ode changed The Face again
Ode fakes direction so
I don't see where Ode could go
And in the panic I saw that
They had dropped a “note to self”
I picked it up and it read
"I can't learn anything new"

When you've had too much
And the weight of the expected
Has got you feeling introspective
Can I give you the perspective that you need?

Remember that language is power.

"I will, I will. I'll remember that"

Thank you, I'll say goodbye soon
Though its the end of the word
Don't blame yourself now
And if its true
I will surround you and give life to a word
That's our own

Order of the day to come
Thus the end, the ends
Darkest hour, obsidian
Cast of stone, the Night
With a slight of who not harmed
Hit or touched
What will be, the end
How come the rising sun
Matches still
In to gold, it holds
Comes the dawn, golden dawn
Darkness turn to day

I'll take you to the place where you
Come down and just react
To what you're about to see

Early time machine's
Will have tended to leave you
Left screaming
On a dinosaur's dish
In da Vinci's "Bike Accident'
An outerspace whodunit?
Monkeys play Magellan
As the next ex-Edison
Standing out in the crowd with a unicycle

Physics of a unicycle...
Twice the remarkable
Um, did a little little, um, did a lot
Someone's splitting atoms under flag barbed wire
Up in the sky where the war planes fly
Dead in the clouds, hear the God's cold lie
Um, did a little little, um, did a lot

You've had enough
Too much
And all you have collected
Is heavy with the taste
Of ambition misdirected
Bitter 'bout the pace that you keep

Well Good Ode almighty, all that other *******
Is here today and going tomorrow

'Tis better to have loved and lost,
than never to have loved at all!
Come cheer up, my lad

'el Da'
Qb'a'
Oh-kie
YIjah, Qey' 'oH
YIjah, Qey' 'oH

And When I have plucked the rose above
Whatever will be,
will be below
Qweyku Mar 2016
Yesterday a Father died,
He journeyed far from a village called No. 1
He gave his life.

Dad,

I hope you've found peace;

                                                         ­                    ...in the ***** of Abraham.


~ QB
Qweyku Jun 2014
Race - ism is

a

myth

m  a d  e

of
*****
sneaky
pipe bombs
filled
with
the
shrapnel
of

Wars

P  a  s  t

P  r  e  s  e  n  t

 F  u  t­  u  r  e


A

sinister

s t o r y

of

tradition

explaining away
unsubstantiated
social phenomenon
built on
widely held
perpetuated
ideas
of

falsehood



Humanity.

Reboot.­

Start over.


Children,

colour within the lines

b  e  g  i  n

&

e  n  d

with a program

of

t r u t h;

keywords:

c r o w s
a  r  e 
b  l a c k


~ QB
Whats going through your mind when your running up the side, only 1 man to beat?
When he runs fast you'll run faster, can he take the heat?
Whats going through your mind when the X is open for the 40 yrd touchdown pass?
He catches the ball and you hope this moment will always last.

What are you thinking about when there is a hole the size of Texas on the 28 toss?
What are you thinking about when you sack the QB for an 18 yrd loss?

Whats going through your mind when coach is yelling at you for dropping the ball?
Why is it that on kickoff you got stopped at the first wall?
Coach told your parents before the season that you would most definitely letter.
You gotta learn from your mistakes, always making yourself better.

Your a good player, but you got a big head, you think your the best.
You don't listen during practice or do the drills, why you so different from all the rest?

Whats going through your mind when everything starts to go bad?
What are you thinking about when you miss what you once had?
Your gettin buried in the depth chart, grades slippin, where'd it all go?
You start to drink, thinking, who's gonna know?

You weren't a team player, you were only out there for yourself.
What was going through your mind when you saw there were no trophies on the shelf?
Qweyku Jun 2014
The petty division

o f  s e m a n t i c s.



The bloodied mace

o f   w a r   o f   w o r d s.




T h e   v i le   p e n

strikes a more brutal blow

&

  b  e  

mightier  

t h a n   t h e   m o r t a l   s w o r d.



~ QB
Qweyku Jul 2016
We write our history with footsteps.

Blindly,
We rarely read in between the lines.
Hope is there,
Indelibly, invisibly, inked;
Blood red,
Between every page
of
pain & glory.


~ QB
Lev 17:11
Col 1:27
She was teasing to the eye
Flirted with my mind
Kissed my soul
Shes everything I want
But she is destined to take my life
I know because what we are doing
Even a presist wouldn’t want to know
My sin burns me on the inside
To know it’s out of my hands now
She the owner and I’m the qb
I get on a knee only if she needs
My body her toy she plays with at will
I see her and know
pleasure is all she desires
no matter what time we meet
Her body soothes the monster but
Stirs the ****** in me
I can’t believe how free I would be
If her lustful curves didn’t speak
Parts of me wants all of you
But the world wouldn’t want that view
So I have to take my 38 percent
And smile right thru
You admitted that you share my fantasy
Where one can be two
Now I’m confused but what is new
I love you and that shouldn’t have been so
See I’m already in a love square and you make the right angle
I would die if i expressed how high I get when I kiss your thigh
So I keep my dreams only in mind because at least I get my Disney story just without all the rhyme
Old skool jewels, dropping joints that could, even make a mule,
Come out of,its stubborn ways, jam the O'Jays to the BarKays,
Yo feel what,I gotta say, on decks with the Ak, speech delay,
Now play, it back in slow motion, it's a lyrical ocean, potion
Sinking in, since the days of the fallin, Olympus still stallin,
Pardon, my darling, my baby girl, just wanted to rock, the world
By the sun and moon, that gloom that, glossed up the pearl,
So many wanna be ya friend, but in the end, it's all a big pretend,
Never lend, my friendship, it's out on lease, easy as ever capeech,
Love me a **** stallion, shining lika bezel, level up diamond,
My intellect that is,still blinding, got the code, from the coal mining,
Universal timings, know the words, of the hidden Gods,
Once I charge the clouds,and clear out the smogs, let my mind jog,
Around the hostility, no humility, break down the unity,
Separate I, from self, cuz I'm dangerous for ya health,
Gas state, carbon monoxide, so suckas, better go hide,
I got pride of a lion, I ain't ****** lyin', applyin', skillz without tryin,
Who could stop me, post a bill, cut down the economy, probably
New stock monopoly, Bradley,  concepts, hold the rejects,
Yo that's a bet, no sweat, leave ya without no regrets,
Standing on the block, like I'm owning it, clone it,
Double up, went from dollars, to a thousandaire, dont care,
What others dare, to say about me, I'm a sit back, play a King see,
While yall playin' QB, I'm watching on a blitz, like a safety,
Defense zone 3, check ya keys, I peel the messenger,
Im the driver, in hip hop and yall, others is just passengers,






Posterize, lyricist true to self, over analyze, victory prize,
Stepped up off,of the St Hides, see the wisdom, slowly hides,
Away the pain, the strain, from the depths of my brain, a grain,
Of salt, could turn all yall to malt, liquor, yo I missed her,
Hip hop since she, took a new stage prop, I'm here to restock,
The originality, fresh taste for fertility, seed at a fatality,
Rally, women I tally, yo dont dilly dally, with a skeez in the valley,
Skin graffiti, pinned up with a nefertiti, thick but still skinny,
Hold my henny,  toast to good and plenty, times off of signs,
Make 9 cents, off your dimes, extort ya shine, cash all in lines,
Smoking the pines, read between the lines, one of a kind,
Isaac Hayes sculpture, break out the culture, watch the vultures,
Copy cats, erase cheese heads, with the gats, lay out greedy rats,
Unbeatable stats, so it's hard for ya match, pitch a heat to catch,
Stay off the radar, born star, plot like Scar, leader of the new Czar,
So bizzare, rhymes twisted, sick with it, grab my biscuits, mystic,
Sly, pass through the devils eyes, glare over the skies, magnetize
Navy seals, rhyme appeal, always smoke out, spotlight sequel,
Oh so real, candy rain with da wood grill, stainless made steel,
With so many swords, of wu tang you, cant evade the killz,
King tut hat, keep a stash of that, graveyard green hatchback,
Brace the throwback, clover land soldier with the thick bands,
See where my hands land, amongst the fans caught the glands,
Of a fish I kiss, dismiss the fakest watch me intake this,
Cannabis spinning like the wind chilling, amongst the building,
Lay bread for my children,
Cold villain, **** playing a hero I'd rather do a true killin,
Like the microphone spilling, out the lyrical mud blood,
Young thugs I was, learned the game from Uncle Eazy, keep the toolie
Yours truly, lay paths with the unruly, raw as Paul Mooney,
Hush that, raw base cut scratch, ***** ya nose, visions tunnel, thoughts spin to a funnel,
Got a girl name Chantelle, she freaks it well, cast a spell,
Never fails, she's all out, watch the wanna be ballers fallout,
Re route ya cake, more clips than Nate, dogg issa true hog,
Industry humpin, no dumpty on the walls, grab my *****,
Cristal by the walls, catch a pause tighten ya jaws, applause,
Insert the verbal savagery, on ya embry, strawberry kiwis,
Keep em in the sun for fun, that's on the one, genie a bikini,
She lookin- good, young face Hollywood understood,
Mistakes always makes it ways, back to the original says,


Ls400 lexus, banging my ***** in texas, who could plex us,
Dont get nexted, cask fit, blessed it,
Kiss a sky rocket, sockets,
Closed ya eye circuits, serious with these cuts, guerilla strut,
Pimping never limping, suckas still simpin', ya money crimpin'
Cold brew sippin, at the top chillin, with my feet to the ceiling,
Boss ****, mob president, true wills only to my testament,
Yo black Humprey Bogart, bogard these wanna be game sharks,
Narcs, love to sit near the park, only to catch a spark, sprinkle
Gun powder, watch the dynamite make em clam chowder,
Smack ya, own will thy mills be done, destined for legend,
Pledging, my self to the universe one song one truth, one love,
All above the wings of a dove, taking heights to grave above,
Amazing half temples grazing, flashback of the payback,
QB snaps, watch for the center sneaks, kin the reaper,
Puff slow ******, greet cha, only with the real Roman caesar,
Rap emperor, never made for inferior yosef the last superior,
Conservative mind state, activate demo hates ****** tapes,
Victory Cape worn, yo a star is born, word is bond bongs,
I twist more metals, than heat to kettle yo never settle,
For less minus stress, let the tears from the cloud speak loud,
Embezzle my soul, the awakening spiritual, lay for crucial,
jeffrey conyers Oct 2018
You must love sports.
When football quarterbacks say it's my fault for the lost.
Like the coach played no part in play calling.
Or not sitting the QB down in time.

Wishes and prayers don't win games.

And again and again, the excuses are the same.

Once rich the mindset must become I want a championship ring.
Think of the honor and recognition it brings.

Then you must have a winning mentality.
One motivated by the coaches standing on the sideline.

Champions are determined winners.
Logan Robertson Feb 2020
Kansas City Cheifs Rise

Seeding and blossoming
At the right time
In the face of adversity
Now known
As the 49ers
Last scene
Heads hung low
Seething and wilting
In the face of Mahomes
Now known
As Tomahawk Chop
Comeback king
QB extraordinaire
In the race to the top
Rarefied air for the Cheifs
And a beaten path for the 49ers
Down 20-10
Golding, goading into the fourth
Mahomes sparks the comeback
Two TD passes
And the 49ers are on their *****
Two TD passes
Cheifs win 31-20
To the 49ers rashes
And should I dare say crashes
A seedling that was planted
Some 50 seasons ago
Ripe with submisions
And some terrible falls
Over the proud owners
The Hunt family
No strangers to paydirt
Now reaching new heights
For the very first time
This for the Cheif fans
The ones now with tears of joy
Savioring the moment
A rallying cry
To the fall of their dream
Now to the very rise ...
of their team

Logan Robertson

2/03/2020
Pippi Jan 2020
One.
I used to write about my ex a lot. *** so hot I was surprised when our lust ran out of steam.
Then you came, *** could not compare to the explosives of two fire signs detonating, but it was good enough to warm me up, to work up a sweat, to quench my thirst, make me think maybe not the best but **** I’ve had worse. Interestingly the compatibility and probability of a Capricorn man and Leo woman working was extremely low but I was determined to make this work if anything just as a big ******* to astrology. Always the pyromaniac, I was relieved and excited to feel flames again. To feel those sparks to get my ink pen flowing hot lava across the page, but why does it have to derive from pain? My love, I was happy to love you. Oblige you.
Keep you. Bask you in the depths of my love and hoped you came out clean. Every time I love,
I love a little deeper, a little bit more womanly, a little bit more openly, flowing - my love I did not mean to drown you. I should have let you.

Two.
April 28th. I wasn’t going to go on that first date with you. It was personally too late into the night for my liking but it fit into your schedule perfectly. I should have taken this as a sign that I would be doing most of the sacrifices and compromises. You wanted to impress me so you agreed to play pool, a game you would lose and afterwards we sat in your car and had a fire conversation. As you poured a little of yourself onto me, I could not help but notice the street lights illuminate your brown sugar face and the stars ***** dance at the vibrations of your laughter. The night was chilly but in the car our dialogue kept me warm and cozy. For a date that I wasn’t about to show up for, I didn’t want to leave. I just wanted to commemorate the anniversary of our first date with you. To celebrate the love that you said singed for me, for it to be a testament that we made it through this year barely unscathed. Most of the scars were mine.

Three.
The Bluetooth speaker that you got me for my birthday.The yellow and black checkered Vans that I wore to the Eagles and Steelers preseason game, though I have deleted the pictures with you off of Instagram. It was during that game when you got mad at me for jokingly agreeing with the girl sitting beside you that the Steelers rookie QB was hot, that I saw the honeymoon phase smear right off of your face. Who you pretended to be and who I tried to compromise myself to become began to smolder underneath the heat of the August sun, our incompatibilities started to ring volumes; we didn’t have *** enough, we argued too much and it never resulted with our clothes off and our bodies touching, just me driving home angrily and sleeping alone, this camp fire blazed brightly and blew out quickly. Every time we tried to reignite it, it would blow out just as fast, frustratingly, it is my fault for ignoring such a weak connection.

Four.
The iPad that you got me for Christmas. After you opened up the gifts that I bought you, real round and heavy tears ran down your face and caressed my shoulder. We embraced so tightly, so lovingly, it was the most intimate and honest moment we shared. In that moment I knew that you never was really loved, really cared for by many women so I was determined to be that woman for you. I was so dead set on not breaking your heart like your ex girlfriend that I paid no regard to what was happening to mine. Over time, I could empathize why your ex girlfriend cheated on you. She decided on the things that she wasn’t going to let you take, she knew when to let that go, when to release if it was only for a quick relief, a guilty reprieve, so yeah maybe it’s you and has always been you.


Five.
The Nintendo Switch that you got me for Valentines Day. Maybe I can give it back if that was supposed to be some type of foreshadowing for how you would switch up on me, the painting with a twist painting turned facing the corner in my bedroom and I’m not sure why I haven’t thrown it out yet. It pains me to admit but sometimes I was wrong but I tried so hard to do everything right from the bottom of my heart. The South Park shirt that I took one morning from your apartment, it no longer smells like the cologne I gifted to you after being washed too many times. Every so often I’ll pull it from my drawer, a gentle reminder that we had some good moments, that we let our love kindle like incense and let the aroma fill the room, but those good times just could not outweigh the bad.

Six.  
The first time that I admitted that I loved you was after you texted me on a Monday morning that you didn’t think we were meant to be, and I knew that because remember we didn’t have *** enough, we argued too much, but for some reason we both refused to stop wasting matches to relight this love that we knew was going to fan out eventually. Call that insanity or pyromania and **** aren’t Mondays insufferable enough? Haven’t I suffered through enough?
That first time those words escaped my mouth, it was like extinguishing a living room already ravaged by flames and all that you have enough time to grab is the dog and your favorite photo, and I meant it genuinely I loved you for the broken man that you was and for the man you had potential to be but just not for me. It was putting ointment on an obvious gaping wound. It healed nothing, just prolonged the suffering.

Seven.  
Eventually I reached my boiling point, reached the point when I needed to let this dimly lit blaze fizzle out. I know that love isn’t always easy but it didn’t have to be this difficult or unhealthy. Not to exaggerate but I cried for three days straight. I had to mourn you and my fantasies, release your toxins and my own from my body, consume harsh realities and bitter truths, face the ways you triggered me, ask myself the seething question of if I knew I was the bomb, why wasn’t I being treated like it? Why didn’t I subconsciously think that I deserved better than you gave me and what I allowed and accepted? The last time, that lust masquerading as love, I let that wildfire destroy everything in its wake, including me. Even though I was dosed in disappointment and heart ache, I was determined to not let this time be like the past. This body, this heart, and this spirit is not a toxic landfill, or a burial ground, or Ground Zero. I am always a Phoenix rising anew, always the Leo shining, always a firefly. One day I woke up and realized it didn’t hurt as much, my heart still beat and pumped out red and orange currents of ferocious love.

Eight.
My biggest regret was holding on to this for far too long. Letting go took strength that I didn’t know I had, this fiasco taught me so much about myself and about love. I am (too) patient, compassionate, understanding and I am sometimes wrong but I always try to do everything with love. But I am not and will not be anyone’s emotional punching bag just so I can brag that I have a man who buys me gifts or to say that I have a boo for the holidays. Society has conditioned black women to think that we have to suffer in order to be deserving of love, that if you can’t stand the heat then you should stay out of those same kitchens where our black mothers used to drag a chair close to the stove, press that hot comb to our ***** curls, mad that we’re sweating halfway before she’s finished, wincing because she’s burned us but she’ll say that’s just the grease, so yeah maybe us black girls have had our attitudes brewing and been predisposed to the flames but we will not accept your torturing.

Nine.
If you would’ve asked me then what was the color of love, I would’ve said it was you and your cherry water ice colored lips leaving stains on the collars of my shirts that I have yet to wash, it’s us in our Sunday’s best as we went to your church and I prayed with you and for you. It’s the Polo shirt still neatly folded in the brown paper bag hanging on my closet door, I never got the opportunity to give it to you and now I have no idea if I should give it away, return it, or save it for the next man who my heart burns intensely for. It’s that flutter my heart felt once your name came across my screen; the second to last text you sent said that you felt our vibe was off and you have never been more right, I was so over wasting energy trying feed that spark. The last text that you sent you said that you suppose you missed me, and I mean duh of course you would, of course you should. I used to write about my ex a lot, have *** so hot, confuse love with everything it wasn’t, chase men who reminded me of my father until I was scorned and scarred. Now I get to write about you too, and I just needed new material, something to get me charged up, something to get hot ink scalding across the page until I felt the heat on my fingers and the paper disintegrates to ash. But make no mistake, this poem is not all about pain.

Ten.
If you ask me now what is the color of love, I’d say it’s the shine of my peace of mine. It’s the smile I have worn everyday since I actively decided to choose me and my happiness, and not a single tear has fallen over you since, no second guessing, no having my feelings invalidated, no gaslighting, no heat damage pressed on these black curls, I have let them grow out unruly and free, I have never experienced bliss like this after a breakup before. It’s the flash of my mom’s camera as she captures me walking down the aisle during my graduation, I was so proud to be there after several nervous breakdowns and telling myself I was going to quit at least five times. It’s my toes dipped in the warm waters in the middle of the Caribbean Sea, the sun glistening off my smooth chocolate skin that has taken me so many years to be proud to live in, it’s my wounds some old and some new on proud display, learning to leave my Neosporin at home, but I am here and healing and laughing and learning to loving myself better as I haven’t let depression eat alive. If you ask me now what is the color of love, I will tell you that it is me. It has always been me.
Similar to the poem, “Everything of yours just go, even if it burns,” I wrote a few years ago. It is cool to see how I have grown as a person and writer since then.
Chuck Kean Feb 2023
Green Depression

   Just like with my Buckeyes, I’m an
Eagles fan and I wear my heart on my sleeve
Now here I am waking up to a blue Monday
In shock from a disaster I can’t believe

I know that I sound crazy sometimes
When I talk about conspiracy theory
And I know that I put people off
And make them feel a little weary

But please understand that’s the passion
If you truly know me, you know I’m all in
Jesus, Wife, Family, Buckeyes, KISS,
Friends,Eagles and I wanted them to win

The State Farm connection I needed
For everyone to see,
It was played in the State Farm Stadium
And the spokesperson is the QB of KC

But I’m not really a crazy person
There’s no need to be afraid of me
The bottom line is an Eagles fumble gave
The Chiefs a TD and the Eagles had no D

So here I am on this Blue Monday
With no way to let out my aggression
And I can’t seem to fight my way out
Of my severe case of Green Depression

Written By:Charles Kean
Copyright ©️ 02/13/2023
All rights reserved
Fly Eagles Fly

— The End —