I used to tend to sunflowers,
Nurtured and nurished their seeds,
Through soft songs and flourished hours,
Their beauty a mirror to my needs,
It feeds a hole in my life's fabric,
One I cared not for to stitch in time,
So the hole has become a scar and what's tragic,
Is my sunflowers died and buried into that hole of mine,

I have spent years regretting,
Pulling away pettles and crying over the fact they won't regrow,
But though I knew not at the time I wasnt letting,
My sunflowers growing new and so,

In time I came to remember,
Something I concede that I should already know,
That the rotten dreams of last December,
Are mulch from which new sunflowers will grow,

So what if the sunflowers of my past may never not return,
So what if my fabrics torn and gaping gap will never mend,
The new seeds that I soe are now my new concern,
I have new sunflowers now to tend.

It's like ... my tensions are Good
But my hands are ***** and I talk to Dogs that tell me I'm unworthy.
As they bark I chuckle but my hands aren't steady I'm scared to leave this earth without living like what's after?
It's like...I lay with a Rose that's dead and the only thing that makes me smile is the memories we use to have, what's this feeling I'm feeling ..am I safe with the daisy that burn brighter then the Sun or am safer with the pettles of a Rose..?

I long for day time to close her eyes,
So lessons can begin,
When closing doors and curtains means it's time to take you in,
My teacher, master if you will,
My guide to all things sultry,
My lover shows me such good things,
This feels like it's adultery.
You make me sit upon a bed,
Awash with lilac pettles,
You kiss my eyes, i feel your breath on me,
It helps me settle,
My clothes slide off, as if by magic,
All soft and gently so,
Your finger tips caress my body,
Sensuous and slow,
My ******* harden to your mouth,
My breath is short and shallow,
I take a lesson on felacio, and learn just how to swallow,
My education carries, i'm straddled,
And you release it,
My hips girate, and take you all,
I hardly can believe it,
Our climactic yells and groans confirm our satisfaction,
I shiver, moving gently now, you peak all my reactions,
Our love is sealed with oneness, here i am,
I'm wrapped around you,
My night school teacher loves me,
Night and day, thank god i've found you

torn flower pettles
engulf the vastness,
devoid of time and reality,
of the growing distance.

a floral bath
doused in flourescence.
the white lilies
that signify a grave.

your charred corpse,
a bloated bag,
floats in a putrefying stasis.
only half a daisy-boy beauty.

the water fizzles
into acid. the hyacinths wither
into amorphous globules.
gap tooth dissolves.

To the mourning star of sorrow ,
inside the curtains drawn inside ,
a herse pulls up to weeping the young mans life now in a casket lay ,
With cobwebs to cover his head ,
for now he is dead .

Once bright lights  of stardom with Limosens await ,
starlights fame ,
a spotlight that one day grew dim .For now  death and Christ await ..,
For to much liquor and money ,
to many ladies and ***** ,
and the gypsy he sang captivated my love of solitude .

A ghost book from my grans book case ,
tales of 20,000 leagues under the sea ,
the skull ,
It’s pages I turned what fantasy in this old book I learned .
and so to the gypsy with grinding tale of whips and shacks ,
and a poor boys love for that gypsy girl .

Even now unto this day they play this song it won’t go away ,
In Shepherd’s Bush s music halls to two thousand expecting hordes ,
that song lives ever on .

So what is love only that it must be perused ,
or our lives become catacombs,
and our hearts encased in tombs . .
Our 20,000. Leagues we fall ,
deeper and deeper where there is no love at all ,
just a skull on a shelf to watch it all .
Then save your love for pettles and flowers for above all these things
Gods love towers ,
Wrapped up in Mary’s arms ,
Lies Gods gift of love to man ,
a spralling baby who’s arms stretched out in love ,
this infant child covered in blood it cries .
Like every other in Linon cloth lay ,
that stars and Kings adore .

white pettles on ground
heavy trees with rain present
path i now do walk

Somewhere, right now, soulmates are meeting.
Somewhere, right now, lovers are departing.
Somewhere right now, a lonely man is sipping the last drops of his fifth bottle.
Somewhere, a daughter is watching her father drive away for the last time.
Somewhere a little boy sits with a therapist locking words under his tongue.
Somewhere a blade is being introduced to raw flesh.
Somewhere, right now a young life is being put in the ground, with a psychiatrist pondering at what he could have done to save her.
Somewhere right now, pettles are being ripped from flowers by hearts wondering if they're loved.
Somewhere right now a nurse is changing the sheets on what used to be a death bed.
Somewhere right now, a ship is sinking into the bottom of deep waters that don't promise revival.
Somewhere right now someone is crying out to a God who doesn't exist to listen.
Somewhere right now hands are being held in the back of churches in remembrance of loved ones gone.
Somewhere a song is playing that brings tears to the eyes of ones who haven't lived long enough to feel.
Somewhere letters are being sent to houses that are vacant.
Somewhere doors are being shut in the faces of those who have never known what its like to crave loneliness.
Somewhere there are all these things.
I'm here, you're there.
I don't know where there is; but its lucky to have you.

I have this song on repeat hoping that if I listen to the words enough times the sting that each syllable has would be less apparent. Instead I'm find myself laying in a bed of nails, wishing I could rewind and go back and say sorry over and over until my throat cracked and bled. Even then id wheeze the words because the words need to be bled. I can't escape this quiet little storm and I'm stuck on the eye wishing I never said goodbye in the first place. I convinced myself that I was poison and you had taken me and I was afraid of watching the beautiful pettles in my hand brown and decay. I guess I'll never find the true reason I had to walk away. I tried to say "I love you" but all that came out was "goodbye" my eyes widened because it felt as if a ghost stabbed my throat with the word. I sat for too long in the darkness of my room contemplating whether it was my selfish attitude or my fear of never being good enough for you. I stopped counting the days after I stopped feeling and the numbness pumped into my body and I got addicted. Every new girl just fed the addiction because id feel nothing when it wasn't you. It doesn't matter how much alcohol I'd poured directly onto my lungs I could never drown the memory of you. I hate this, I hate myself. Why did I say goodbye. I spend my time punching mirrors hoping the broken shards will cut deep enough to bleed out all this emptiness

But now I'm staring into beautiful hazel eyes, not a single thought forming in my head. My heart screaming words and my body flushes with feelings I haven't felt in months, maybe years. I can't believe it took so long to realize that those eyes are the only things keeping me grounded. Whenever I'd go to sleep I could feel your breath on my neck and I'd wake up with a wet pillow. But that doesn't matter anymore because I have you. I have you in my arms and I'm never letting go. I'm happy, I'm feeling, I love you and I'm never letting go. I will still scream I'm sorry into the bathroom mirror hoping my reflection will Crack because I know I don't deserve a second chance. I know I deserve you and you deserve to be happy so I will work hard to make you strong and protect you. I can't believe I forgot what love like this felt like, but I guess no one else can love me like this but you. I could never bleed enough thank yous for letting me crawl back into your life, you're the only thing that occupies the space in my head. I love you more than it could ever be said. I'm never giving up and I promise I will grind down my bones and tear my flesh apart before I ever say goodbye again. I love you. I'll say it over and over. Every time I say I love you while looking into your eyes it feels like a crack in my heart seals back together. Everytime I see you in feel a slice in my lungs close back up. You're my everything and I'd give up anything to keep you for the rest of this life and the next

Step by step
This path goes up and down
Up and up ever higher
It leads to the tops of mountains
Sight by sight
I witness natures miracles
Dirt and leaves and flower pettles
Undergrowths of fern
  
Its not the destination
Its the journey
That leads me here again
I always find god in the mountains

Step by step
Its just a memory
It's been too long
The way the sun breaks through the clouds
And all the colors
A kaleidascope valley
The beauty of it all
I always find god in the mountains

Its the journey
Its not knowing what the next step brings
But always hoping
It leads me to myself

I always find god in the mountains

Oh hands on the clock why do you go so slow. Every second of pain rips away the chance of another mornings light. Smiles on the face of wicked, yet the righteous pay with more than they have. Why!!! Shatters the nights sleep with an aching moan. Nagging thorns piercing the moment. Why!!! Sheets wrapped tightly around the feet.  The red of love, now goes brown. It's gentle pettles leave an enormous drain. Upon the floor love slowly dies. The ravens call refuses to stop bringing another nights tears. Tears on the pillow, tears on the floor, tears in the dirt, bringing an end. For fall the  empty soul screams, nightly pleas go unheard, yet the smiles on their faces persist. Godly love smothered by evil green. Broken promises, forgotten moments puts the end in site. Let it go they say. Okay! Lay it down they say! Okay! At the feet of eternity I shall lay it from whence it came. Mornings light draws closer the end  and finally blocks the ravens attack. Lay it down, I shall. Let it go, I shall. A final good bye away goes the pain.

In my world of dreams
   I have the freedom
      None hold the keys

So everyone can come and see
Not a forlorn monstrosity
But, in my bravest hopes,
a human bee

Not covered with the world's hundred woes
Not stained by other people's shades

Alas, this bee has a dream
Of flowers and delicate pettles
Of horizons merging with the sea

This, I call reality...
To go...out the window
And glisten..to provide...

There, I long to be,
for a bee close to me..

As the flower grew it's leaves grew longer and roots stronger..
The first and only flower in a world of no color or light, without the divine...
If the flower is touched hope will die..
As it blooms colors spread with it's roots bringing love and light to a world that lacks truth
A world of rage, violence, and hate...
But when one comes in close distance of the flower he sees the color of the world in it's place

Green stem and leaves that peacefully move with the wind
Red pettles stained by the blood of hopeless men...
Golden seeds and pollen that dance in the air around the flower...
The man smiles, cries, then saw within...a flower begin bloom
Hope...
A small spectrum of color begins to spread..
"Go my son spread my seed,"  
The flower says...

Nothing is more beautiful than the spring season
Delightful and tranquil morning, sweet melodies of birds
And cheerful breeze blowing for a reason.

Swaying greenery all around bathed in sun rays
Golden wheat growing, corn relishing and dancing in the fields
Glorifying the nature in thousand different ways.

Colorful flowers blooming, pettles gentle like breeze
Attired in pure natural innocence, crimson rose armed with thorns
Producing enchanting fragrance and putting mind at ease.

Bees hovering over sweet daffodils attracting the attention
Spending time in serenity, butterflies self-poised and calm
Putting sparkle in the eyes and relieving the tension.

The roots of trees sunk deep, leaves green and tan
Rustling and throbbing twigs, trunk bearing cuts and scars
Yet standing straight and tall, beautifying the world of man.