"paralyzingly" poems
It came as a wave
I was doing the back stroke
felt the clear water beneath me
it was calm at first
safe even
I didn't think about how deep it was
I didn't think about how dark it could get
I thought about how clear the water was
how warm the surface was
the moon and the sun fought to be my light
my legs went under
then my waist
then my arms
my body started to tingle
I only glanced
the depth was luring
I felt myself slip into the paralyzingly cold water
I couldn't feel the sun anymore
the moon laughed
the water wasn't calm anymore
it was time
my head went under
I had oxygen but it only lasted so long
my head felt light & I wasn't in control anymore
I seen creatures you'd never see at the surface
I drifted & didn't dare gasp
The jellyfish danced around me as I watched everything go black
They just danced
Apr 3, 2017
Apr 3, 2017 at 8:37 PM UTC
Phantom Fierce Pierce
For Sally
Do have the courage of fear?
What!
You heard me.
Admit that we are all inhabited,
Admit that we are all inhibited.
Fear, the eleventh plague visited upon the Egyptians,
Nothing more paralyzingly complete.
Walking down an average day, an average street,
A median day, a medium day that a
Black disease from whence unknown,
And you are a froze shadowed chalk figure
Drawn upon the concrete, unable to move.
What would you pay, anything,
What would you give, everything,
Cleanse it all
Cut out the incisions
That with precision
Haunt your every
Waking and sleeping moment.
The deeds that did not get done,
The deeds that cannot get undone,
Both your undoing.
A plague on both, a plague on me,
My plague, unique to me,
Free me from this whatever the cost.
But it can't be arranged.
No devil to sell back the things
Of which you are ashamed,
No stain stick extant to guarantee success.
When the hollow is so great
You feel non-existent.
But you do not see what I see...
Courage, raw and plain, admits
These phantoms are not phantoms at all.
Those figures try to break you.
There is a beach, a path, where you know,
Safety.
Not easy to get there. The bus schedule unpublished.
But the bus line exists.
And you have the courage to wait, patiently
Until it arrives.
There is value here, if you read between the dashes
And the dots.
I see you for who you are.
You are the phantom fiercer piercer.
Shown us the way.
Oct 24, 2013
Oct 24, 2013 at 12:46 AM UTC
Cheers to being paralyzingly afraid of death,
but saying,
"I can't wait for this day to be over"
Have a drink.
In celebration of the end of the day,
in melancholic terror for the end of your life.
Sep 16, 2012
Sep 16, 2012 at 6:10 PM UTC
her eyes were the ocean:
deep and blue,
hidden by tears.
you tried to help,
you asked her
"what's wrong?"
"nothing, just tired,"
was what she had said.
but despite her words
you knew there was more;
something deeply hidden
in the depths of the ocean,
of the saltiness of
the gentle sea.
there was a battle
going on inside of her,
tearing at her rib cage,
paralyzingly her soul
but she wouldn't let you in;
her walls were too high.
inside she was
b r o k e n
a powerful sea of emotions,
but outside she was
s m i l i n g,
just what you knew
you wanted to see
a.m.
Mar 10, 2013
Mar 10, 2013 at 9:01 PM UTC
You are not free
To love me
You are married
Legally, emotionally
Paralyzingly
You built a life
based on guilt.
And now you want me to be
part of your destiny
Beaten, harnessed,
pained, drained,
Following orders
Submissive borders
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 9:49 PM UTC
one of the most painful journeys
takes you to a destination you never intended to visit
you spend days engulfed in pictures and daydreams of bright colors and future memories
until one day you look up to a view so paralyzingly dull, not even your hope could see you through
Mar 17, 2022
Mar 17, 2022 at 8:32 PM UTC
If I listed out all of the things that have
Tripped me up
And troubled me
Truly my dear
You would never stop pitying me.
Take me backwards around that stop sign I split
My legs churn counter clockwise
To the backyard as kids
But I can't find a moment that will fit
The description
Of the happiness I sought as a prescription
And over took my kind
As an addiction.
I have to find the exact formula
To improvement
Because I can't keep living
In this whirlwind disaster
That has only begun to spin faster.
I have fallen into a
Petrifying and paralyzingly vortex;
The consumation of my years spindling around me.
I am wound in
Sloppy rings,
Sticky with sap and
Last nights spilt wine.
I've grown into where I will remain now,
Regardless of personal preference.
Mostly I can settle for my comfortable domain
Of limited know-how;
But when my tongue trips
And my knees scrape on
Every protruding corner
I will remember
I am only living,
Hidden behind callouses
Of all those spitfire falacies
I was gullible enough to perceive.
my bark has turned more
Into a disapproving grumble
When another inevitable wave
Comes to throw me under
In the tides of my troubles.
Perhaps I've grown accustomed
To the briney water rushing towards my ankles
And the gust that carries cold droplets
Across my hot, red face.
Let us jealously applaud
For those who trod on
Our aspirations,
And smile coyly knowing
We didn't let their
Questioning faces
Phase us.
****
I grew up."
I wish I didn't say that so much.
At twelve I was twenty-five and
At twenty-five?
Well,
We'll get to that
if we can.
Regardless
I know that nothing's going to give me back
Here,
now,
My short time. with
you.
Deep breaths only multiply the weight
Of the question that's lingering in my chest.
I rise,
Against the counteractive distraction
Of avoidance.
I hear the words come out in short blurbs like a stop motion cartoon,
"So...excuse me mister,
there's uh,
something I've got to do."
I'm stumbling up to your room
And betting
On the mood
And the moon.
C.e.M.
Dec 23, 2014
Dec 23, 2014 at 7:45 PM UTC
Her eyes shiver with delight
green light flooding her lovely body
an arrangement of fluttering notes
laughter paralyzingly genuine always upon her lips
only passionate bright things in her face
her presence twinkles in the minds around her
This is how he sees her
always
a glimpse around every corner
at every “little party”
through the champagne haze and loud primary colors
her figure only grows more vivid with the night,
drawing him closer, his hand outstretched to the past.
Not even the grandest of golden gestures
nor any number of diamond faced companions
could make his world completely distracted.
She is no beautiful little fool.
Feb 27, 2014
Feb 27, 2014 at 10:30 PM UTC
There was a woman once,
a woman on a long trek
through the desert.
She was on a mission,
to find herself
and to BECOME…
the woman her late
beautiful mother
had raised her to be.
This woman was mad,
adventurous, often careless,
and utterly inspiring.
I began to envision
my own life;
my own mission in
that vast desert,
and realized that I too
was striving to BECOME…
to UN-become
all the things my own
mother taught me to be,
for her own twisted purpose,
her own power trip
and narcissistic need,
and draped in convenient
deafness and blindness.
Never did I imagine
the excruciating journey
or detestable, bitter path
this un-becoming
would ultimately be,
for me.
Like a puzzle of
a thousand pieces,
torturously forced together,
whether they fit, or not,
the un-becoming entails
shattering, finally, the mirror
image once created
and wrapped around you
like a paralyzingly layer of skin,
and carving out,
from the leftover,
a new image;
the true image
of who I am…
whomever that may
one day be.
-by Mercurychyld
Copyrights
May 6, 2015
May 6, 2015 at 1:52 PM UTC
# •
}
/ <> /
//\\
He is the one who says
NOW !
--- /// ---
Gentle footsteps thru the night
The gentle rain !
But there are ugly visions between the stars
••
WE ARE GREATER THAN THESE !
•
We
We are the
Saints
•
Come from out your paralyzingly thoughts
Unto the Magic Moment
being released
ME AND GOD !
We are loosed
And with you here too ?
Ain't a thing needs be done won't be done
Jun 3, 2014
Jun 3, 2014 at 9:59 PM UTC
Do not want to assume
But it consumes our daily lives.
How can we act or
Not act
Without some assumptions?
Maybe we call them something else
To put our ill seeking minds at ease.
Want to just do it
Go for it.
Conquer it
But paralyzingly fear the consequences
Ultimately we are all just individuals
Sorting
Through this Chaos we have created
How are we supposed to know what is Best?
Let yourself be you,
be in the situation,
do not analyze.
Because the thing is,
When are we not learning
Who we are?
Simply just choose.
Make an action.
Just.
Decide.
Oct 5, 2013
Oct 9, 2013
Oct 9, 2013 at 4:23 PM UTC
Paralyzingly fear,
Grips my soul.
It threatens to never
Let go.
The many nights I have laid
Awake,
Bounded by this fear.
Afraid to close my eyes
Once more.
Afraid to wake and find my fear
Is actually here.
The fear is crippling,
It never leaves my
Mind.
It has grabbed on
And refuses to let me go.
And I learned about it
Years ago.
Aug 25, 2013
Aug 25, 2013 at 10:24 PM UTC