You told me that if you drink
before 10 A.M. you were a pirate
not an alcoholic.
But pirates don’t drive,
they sail.
They smoothly sail.
And as the Captain,
abiding by the code,
you went down with your ship
but then again,
you washed up in a jail cell.

© Matthew Harlovic

A story of Australian terms plants and wildlife. Ref 022
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An “Acrostic “poetic tribute to my darling girl
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Written by Philip 4th October 2018.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A story of Australian terms plants and wildlife.

Six years in the making , it ended all too soon
Two oldies ,lost your husband I lost my wife
Oh you were so Australian n I a winging Pom
Reaching three score years and ten in life
You ‘d have to say “What were these guys on”

Oh it’s chemistry yes the chemistry was right
For t’was a no brainer , I knew I wasn’t wrong

A story of Australian terms plants and wild life
Under this Oz Angel,who tried to get me gone
Something clicked, I had to make her my wife.
That took a good six months to bring together
Racing up n down from Sydney to Melbourne
And we did the road trip up to Sydney to live
Loving the old Aussie towns on the route
In fact we had a year renting in Manley NSW
A story of Australian terms plants and wildlife
New words and phrases and broad humour

Terms like tucker and strine and wowser
Echidna ? that burrowing egg laying mammal
Ringtail possums sitting on the garden fences
Many ,varied and colourful birds in life abound
Some so vocal with a cacophony of sound.

Phil and Barbara born on different continents
Living seventy years on different continents.
And now coming together in a beautiful bond
Nothing to compare in a hundred n fifty years.
That’s the extent of our joint living years.
Segregated on two separate continents

An “ Acrostic” tribute to my darling girl.
Now having met by chance at a family party
Drawn together to form the ultimate affair

Would you not like to hear more about us?
I was scared to venture off the beaten track.
Like I am supposed to be talking nature
Dinkum is something genuinely honest
Love is honest , love is unconditional
I want to make this poem so very honest
Furphy gave rise to an unfounded rumour
Exactly ! Furphy was the early water carrier

An  “Acrostic “ tribute to my darling girl.
Now I know she deserves another tribute.

And I for sure will give it to my dearest one
Coolgardie safe for keeping food cool
Roo meat is tender if you keep it out the sun.
Ockers abound those matey unpolished males
Smoking away their lives in designated areas
These men are the salt of the earth,sociable
I would oft sit in the smoking area and blah
Conversations diverse But I don’t smoke.

Pavlova graces many a table covered in fruit
On the occasional meal out we may partake
Especially at our birthday anniversary treats
Those dates so special in our calendar
I remember June before last we made a trip
Coming over the beautiful Blue Mountains

The trip we made was to Bathurst in NSW
Reminiscing in the town of Barbara’s birth
I was enchanted by the fertile landscapes
Backblocks n outback. Remote country areas
Urgent that we found the ancient homestead
Then met Barbs cousin who still farms there
Even though  Seventy years had passed since

Turned out that he was orphaned as a child
Orphaned when his mother died in childbirth

My God, times were tough in those days.
Yet how I ramble? I should be teaching nature

Diligently I shall try to stick to the point.
A story of Australian terms plants and wildlife.
Ringtail possums possesses essential stoicism
Larrikin ? beware of that grog filled hooligan
It looks like a possum especially when drunk.
Now we were sometimes awakened by them.
Grog is the devils brew if VB is consumed

Grant me a moment of reflection to the finale
I got little to show for my poem of Nature
Rightly this is a tribute to my Darling girl
Let no man think I fantasise. This grief is real.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.
Written by Philip. 4th. October 2018.

WHAT A COOL YOUNG DUDE INVENTION


HAVING BEER COME FROM THE UNDERGROUND, OH YEAH, HOW RAD

HAVING BEER COME FROM THE UNDERGROUND

TO HAVE THE WORLD TEASE MY DEAR OLD DAD

AS HE IS TRYING TO RELAX, BUT THIS IDEA IS COOL

YA SEE IN BELGUIM THE STREETS ARE SO, BAD

RUNNING THE BEER UNDERGROUND, YEAH THAT SOUNDS RAD

YA SEE I COULD CAUSE KIDDIES PRACTICING TO DIG

A HOLE IN THE GROUND, AND GET AT IT A BIT

BUT WHY WORRY ABOUT THAT, IT ISN’T AS SILLY AS IT SOUNDS

AUSTRALIA LOVES BEER, WHY NOT DO IT FOR US

IT COSTS MONEY, I AM NO DUMMY

IT IS A COOL YOUNG DUDES INVENRTON, MAN

PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY ON DUDES

I THINK PERSONALLY, IT WILL BE COOL

BREAK NO RULES, YEAH BEER TRAVELLING UNDERGROUND

WILL WORK HERE, JUST TRY IT OH ****** DEAR

YEAH THIS IS A COOL THING, LIKE AMERICAN IDOLS ADAM LAMBERT JOINING QUEEN

HERE THE BEER TRAVELS UNDERGROUND, UNDERGROUND UNDERGROUND

YEAH THE BEER TRAVELS UNDERGROUND, TO AVOID THE RICKEDY OLD STREETS OF BELGUIM, DUDE

IT’S THE KIND OF THING YA WANT IN AUSTRALIA, MAN AUSTRALIA, MAN AUSTRALIA, MAN

IT’S DEFINATELY THE THING IN AUSTRALIA MAN

YEAH IT’S A YOUNG DUDE INVENTION, AND IT MUST ****** WORK, DEAR

I DO ART, THAT’S MY YOUNG DUDE, YEAH, AND I AM PARTYING WITH COKE, OH YEAH

I USED TO BE THE TYPE TO DRINK A BEER, I GAVE UP WASN’T WORKING

BUT DON’T ****** WELL COPY ME, CAUSE I AM A LOST CAUSE TO THE CONSERVOS

MY YOUNG DUDE IS, PUTTING METHANE BACK TO EARTH, TO HEAL OUR HEALTH REFORM HEALTH REFORM HEALTH REFORM

MY YOUNG DUDE WANTS TO USE METHANE TO HEAL MY HEALTH REFORM

WHILE MY DAD IS SAYING, HE HAS NO YOUNG DUDE, AND FORCING YOUNG DUDES TO SAY

YOOUT NOT A COOL KID, DON’T MUCK WITH ME, BUDDY

I SAY, HOW ABOUT THE UNDERGROUND BEER, MATEY, HOW ABOUT THE UNDERGROUND BEER, SIR

BELGUIM, IS GOING TO BE RADICAL, DUDE

THE BEER WILL TRAVEL THROUGH THE UNDERGROUND OF BELGUIM UNDERGROUND OF BELGUIM

UNDERGROUND OF BELGUIM

THE BEER WILL TRAVEL THROUGH THE UNDERGROUND OF BELGUIM

WE SHOULD DO THAT IN AUSTRALIA, MATE

QUEEN HAVE A NEW SINGER, ADAM LAMBERT, AND BELGUIM HAS BEER ON THE UNDERGROUND

THE COOL YOUNG DUDES LIKE ME IN THE 1980S, ARE RETURNING, BUDDY OLE BOY OLE PAL

PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY

Thou who sent thine own Anointed
once for all the world to bless:
Should we make our windows pointed?
Should our deacons wear a dress?
Should our candles light the dark?
Lord, remain within the ark.

Should our priests be mild and matey?
Should our men be nervous types?
Should our women all be eighty?
Art thou fond of ***** pipes?
Or dost thou, above the stars,
yearn for amplified guitars?

We shall sit around the fire, and
mumble of the Crucified,
preach his gospel to the choir, and
never mind the night outside,
where despite the rain and chill
winds are blowing where they will.

HE PHRASE OUR LITTLE HELPER A THOUGHT FROM MY LITTLE TWEEN CHILDHOOD



YA SEE IN 2001, I GOT SICK OF BEING TREATED LIKE A LITTLE YOUNG DUDE BY MY MATES

SO I DECIDED TO TURN MY LIFE AROUND, LIKE, JOIN THE BELCONNEN MAGPIES TO DO THE BBQ

AND BE A VOLUNTEER AT ST VINCENT DE PAUL, WHERE THEY MADE A SANTA CLAUS SUIT FOR ME TO DRESS

UP AS SANTA, FOR THE NEXT TEN YEARS, AND AT THE END OF THE YEAR, I WENT TO WATSON CANBERRA

TECHNOLOGY PARK, WHERE THEY OPENED A BUILDING CALLED THE RAINBOW, WHERE I WANTED TO SHOW OFF

MY COOKING SKILLS, AND MATE I WAS A ****** COOK THERE, I ALSO REMEMBER, THROWING THE BALL

WITH A MATE, AND THE MAN SAID, GUYS THIS IS A BIT DAFT, YA SEE, EACH TIME I COOKED SAUSAGES AND STEAKS

FOR THE HUNGRY HERD AT THE FOOTY, IT MADE ME FEEL NEEDED LIKE AN ADULT, AND I GOT THIS WEIRD VOICE

FROM MY MUM AND DAD WHEN WE LIVED IN WOODBERRY,SAYING I WAS THERE LITTLE HELPER, CAUSE I SAT BEHIND

THE BBQ ALL DAY, NO MATTER WHERE WE WENT TO, YEAH IT WAS SO MUCH FUN, AND THE KIDS WOULD GET A FREE

SNAG, AND A COKE, YEAH, I WORKED HARD, BUT WELL, AND AT THE RAINBOW, I COOKED MEALS LIKE SPAGHETTI BOLOGNAISE

BEEF STROGANOFF, PIZZAL HEAPS OF DELICIOUS STEWS AND SOUPS, AND I TRIED TO COOK THE BBQ THERE AS WELL,

MAN IT WAS ACE, WE ALSO WENT ON A FEW TRIPS, AND I HELPED COOK AND CLEANED UP, ACTUALLY I ROUGHED IT

BY SLEEPING IN THE TENT, LIKE I WAS LIVING LIFE LIKE IT’S ONE BIG ADVENTURE, SOMETIMES I FELT DAD

REALLY WANTED ME, TO BE NICE TO THEM, BUT IT WAS HARD, CAUSE, I AM AN ADULT, WHO TOOK PRIDE IN HELPING

PEOPLE JUST LIKE ME, AND THEY ARE JUST LIKE ME, DEALING WITH MY ISSUES, BUT MATEY, I REALISE JUST BECAUSE

THEY SHARE MY VIEWS, DOESN’T MEAN THEY WANT TO ADMIT THIS, AND IT DOESN’T MEAN THEY LIKE ME APPOLOGIZING

ALL THE TIME, JUST BECAUSE THEY HATE FOOTBALL EVEN IF I LIKED IT, AND I WAS A TAD CHIRPY, AND EVEN IF NOBODY HATED ME

I STILL THOUGHT TO MYSELF, THAT THIS WAS WEIRD, I AM GIVING THESE DUDES A HOT MEAL, AND THEY SPENT THE WHOLE

TIME WINGING AND WHINING LIKE TWO YEAR OLDS, BUT THAT WAS BECAUSE THEY WERE MENTALLY UNSTABLE, THEY CAN’T BE NICE

CAUSE THE SYSTEM HASN’T BEEN NICE TO THEM, YA SEE, I DON’T BELIEVE IN CHRISTIANITY I AM A BUDDHIST AND DESPITE PEOPLE

TRYING TO SHOVE JESUS DOWN MY THROAT, I PREFER PEOPLE TO KEEP THEIR BELIEFS TO THEMSELVES, IT’S A TOUCHY SUBJECT

RELIGION, BUT THEN AGAIN, I DON’T PREACH BUDDHISM THOUGH, I HELPED AT THE RAINBOW 2001 TO 2004 AND IN 2002, I WENT TO

THE CHRISTMAS PARTY IN MY VINNIES MADE SANTA SUIT, WHERE YOU CAN SEE IT ON AAA YOUTUBE TV AND AARON CLAYTON

ON YOUTUBE, I HEAR THESE WORDS, FROM ALL THE MEN, AS I WAS BEING MY HELPFUL MAN, TO VOLUNTEER WORK, MAKING

A VOICE, FROM MEN SAID, HEY HANG ON, YOUR OUR LITTLE HELPER, I REMEMBERED BOUNCING AROUND ON MUMS BACK

AND MAYBE THE CAMPFIRES WHEN I WAS YOUNG, BROUGHT ON THE HELPING AT THE FOOTY, BECAUSE IT’S A BBQ, AND IT WAS

SORT OF THE OLD FASHIONED WAY, AND I HELPED A LOT, THEY SAID, HANG ON OUR LITTLE HELPER, BUT I MIGHT HAVE BEEN

TRYING TO BE ONE OF THOSE HELPFUL YOUNG DUDES, YA KNOW WORK ALL DAY, WITHOUT ANY PAY, BUT THAT WAS ALRIGHT

CAUSE I ENJOYED WORKING ALL DAY, AND I REMEMBER I HIKED THROUGH THE SNOWY MOUNTAINS IN THONGS AND, YEAH NOTHING

BAD HAPPENED, BUT I DON’T DO THAT NOW, DUDES

YA SEE I DID THE BBQ AT BELCONNEN MAGPIES

I PLAYED SANTA AT VINNIES AND ON YOUTUBE

I HELPED COOK MENTALLY UNSTABLE PEOPLE  A MEAL AT THE RAINBOW

I WAS A CHIRPY FELLOW THERE, TO BRING HAPPINESS TO THAT PLACE

I HELPED OUT AT THE MASTERS GAMES MARQUEE AT THE SOFTBALL

I WAS A TABLE CLEARER

I PICKED UP ******* AT THE KANGA CUP SOCCER

I AM WILLING TO LEARN ALL ASPECTS OF THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY

I BATTLE A VOICE SAYING I AM TOO WOOSEY FOR LIFE, BY OLD MATES

I WORKED AT OCTOBERFEST, PICKING UP *******

THEY TOOK THE MICKEY OUT OF ME, BANGING ON THE TABLE AS I WAS TAKING ******* FROM UNDERNEATH

YEAH, THE VOICE COULD’VE BEEN TRUE, I WAS THE ADULTS LITTLE HELPER

BUT I WAS A BIG HELP, I WAS A HARD WORKING RUN OF THE MILL MAN

I SUFFERED MORE THAN OTHER MEN, BECAUSE I NEVER EARNED THAT MUCH MONEY

I WORKED WELL AT AINSLIE VILLAGE, HELPING THE MENTALLY UNSTABLE YET AGAIN, **** I AM A NICE PERSON

I BATTLE VOICES IN MY HEAD, FOR A LAMOUS CRIME I DID UMPTEEN YEARS AGO

BACK WHEN I FELT MORE POWERFUL THAN DINOSAURS

I DON’T WANT TO BE JUDGED FOR THAT, NO WAY NO HOPE NO FEAR

I WAS CANBERRA’S BIG HELPER BETWEEN THE YEARS 2001 AND 2013

I ALSO PICKED UP ALL THE ******* SPILT OUTSIDE A HOPPER AT KINGSLEYS CHICKEN

AND PUT ‘EM INSIDE THE HOPPER, I AM A GOOD BOY, BETTER THAN MINJAE

NOW I AM READY TO BE AN ENTERTAINER, SO LOOK OUT WORLD HERE COMES SANTA BRIAN ALLAN

OUR BIG HELPER TO CANBERRA, CAUSE I PARTIED IN CLUBS ALL OVER THE PLACE

ON BOWLING WEEKENDS AND WEEKS, I’VE BEEN ALMOST EVERYWHERE

HOBART ADELAIDE SYDNEY MELBOURNE BATEMANS BAY GOLD COAST HERVEY BAY

JERVIS BAY SNOWY MOUNTAINS GRAMPIANS MERIMBULA, SALE GOSFORD NEWCASTLE

MAITLAND PORT STEPHENS ORANGE SCONE DUBBO ILLAWARRA WOLLONGONG

A FEW MORE PLACES, BUT ALL THIS SHOWS, I LIVE MY LIFE LIKE IT’S ONE BIG ADVENTURE

AND THAT IS WHAT I DO, FOR YOU

YA SEE I WAS TRYING TO TAKE DAD OUT OF HIS KID, BUT HE WAS TOO STUBBORN

HE WANTED TO PLAY ALL DAY, NOT WORRY ABOUT THE WORLD

OH YEAH, BOW BOW

Said the Codger in the corner
Of the pub at  Avonlea
“There’s a missus, who I’d kisses
If she’d sit upon me knee”.

“But I’m eighty, like me matey
And I’m too inclined to ***.
So I’ll leave her to another
And keep my faithful Tennessee!”

Said the barman to the Codger
“Well you see here my old friend!
You’ve been sitting in the corner
Since ya leg would no more bend”.

“You’ve been drinkin all me whisky
Yep your love from Tennessee!
Don’t ya know ya have a misses
And she’s looking out for ye.”

Said the Codger to the barman
“Mate now you just let me be
I’ve paid ya all good money
For me love from Tennessee!”.

“And me misses whom I kisses
Who is waiting home for me
Is all weathered, worn and weary
And she naggeth poor old me.”

Said the lady at the counter
Who’d not sit upon his knee.
“Mister if you loved and kissed her
She’d no longer naggeth ye!”

Said the Codger to the lady
“Well Ok! Now let me see
I’d go home to see me misses
But will not leave my Tennessee!”

Traveling around Queensland



You see in October in 2002, Brian Allan went on a trip to Queensland with pipeline, where
The bus came right to Brian's door and there was heaps of picnic food, and there was this lady
Named Janet, who was a bit of a larrikin, and Kelly, who was a very nice lady, and then there was Richard, who tried to steal my book, but, in theory, I never kept it due to my mental breakdown, but that was a fun trip, you see we travelled up to Hervey Bay where we went to a museum aquarium, yeah that was cool, and I took some great pictures of the group I went with
And I really participated in the objects of that museum, and then we went whale watching, and that was really really cool, I also remember, doing a bit of Dolphin watching, and also, I took a photo of myself in the captain's seat, and we had a banquet meal aboard that boat, boy it's like the boat at bateman's bay,, but more exotic, and, I moved all around the boat trying to get pictures of the whales and other things, and yes, this was cool, and, one of the older people on the tour I went on had a crush on me, and I thought, she is way to old for me, but, I wanted to be nice, ok, and then as the boat went over each whale, it went rumpita rumpita rumpita
And all the people on the boat, including myself were walking from deck to deck taking photos, as this was the only time we would see whales on this Queensland coast, and then, yes, the boat trip was finished, and we all went off and went home and then Richard was tired and wanted me to get the milk for breakfast, and I didn't and he stole my writing book, because I was ******* him off, but I wrote a Poem called I don't want to be a stalker, and despite me and Richard wanting the same thing, why can't he ask, why me, and then we all had tea, and went to bed, and the next day, we went to feed the seal, and matey oh this was great and I enjoyed as you hold the piece of fish out and the seal jumps up and grabs the fish, oh this was ever so much fun, and I had 3 Goes, I think, but it could've been more, maybe less, but it was fun, and
I can tell you, the seal was having a great time as well, and I took a few photos of the seal as well as we made a movie about it, but through years and years of my mental breakdown I might have wrecked that, but it was a video anyway, and I haven't got a VCR anymore, anyway, but
I don't think I threw out the photographs on the trip, which is great, and after we left Hervey Bay, we went to the Gold Coast, and all the dreams I had about the Gold Coast, first of all we went to Warner brothers movie world, and mate, I felt like I was in the USA and as I watched the police academy cars,yeah cool, and there were a lot of rides we went on, yeah, I just walked around the theme park, buying things in the movie playground, and buying souvenirs, and talking to some of the tourists, and I spoke to a lot of the people from our trip, as I walked around with Kelly and Steve ambrose, and then at the end of this day at the theme park, a bad
Thing happened in Bali, which was the Bali bombings and Tom and Steve who were my room mates were watching the whole boring news event the whole day, as this was a relax and chill day, me and Steve went for a walk, while Steve wanted to live down here, and said, hey, mate
Have ya got any jobs, going, in a real Australian way, and then the trip leader Joel took us on a walk down to surfers paradise, and I ****** in the water, because fish do it, why can't we, well
This was a real relaxing day, and then they bought our meals in, and if I can remember, it was
Fish and chips, with prawns and so on , well this was ever so tasty, I loved it, and then we went to bed, for the next day was interesting, you see, the next day, we will go to currimbin animal
Sanctuary, where we held snakes, and we looked as bold as the big bold eagle, and there were a lot of wildlife, there and I took a lot of photos there, it was radically awesome, and Queensland is the cleanest state in Australia, the seas are cleaner and green, while no, really disgusting seaweed ever existed and, mate, yeah really clean, after that we headed back to our motel, and we watched the football, Australia won, and Tom was showing is patriotism by standing up with his hand on his chest, to the national anthem, and me and Steve and Kelly
Went for a dip in the pool, and Richard who because I spoke up to him, he really liked the way I was ever so cool, and then we went back to our rooms and waited for our next meal, which was
Home made spaghetti  bolognaise and this was made ya know ever so tasty, and Jason  and Joel cooked it, one *** of it to every room, about 3 in total, and I don't know about other rooms, but my room really loved it, yeah, the best spag boll in the country cooked by Jason and Joel, and
Then after about 2 hours, we went to bed, and the next day, we went home and we stopped over at Coffs Harbour and at night, we bought pizzas, for each of us, and James and Kelly joel and myself were driven home by Joel, and we fell asleep after watching our last nights TV
And we went for a Sydney bypass which meant, in about 6 hours we were all home and that was the end of a great trip, and I went to my play rehearsal for urban dreaming that night, and
Despite my parents saying I will be too tired for that, it was just a watching the other theatre performance that was on, which was cool, man, and I really loved the holiday, for it brought me some happy memories, the end


Sent from my iPad

YOU GOTTA HAVE A BEER ON AUSTRALIA DAY, MATEY



HI DUDES, IT’S JANUARY 26TH, AND WE MUST CELEBRATE

THE DAY WE WERE INVADED BY CONVICTS, YA SEE MATE

WE ALL LIVE IN THE CONVICT COLONY, THE CONVICT COLONY THE CONVICT COLONY

AND BECAUSE OF THAT IT’S IN OUR CULTURE TO DRINK

JUST LIKE I DID, I HEAR MATES SAYING, YOU GOTTA HAVE A BEER FOR AUSTRALIA DAY, WHY

WHAT IS WRONG WITH COKE, COKE IS FROM AUSTRALIA

AND THE MEN SAID, WE MUST DRINK BEER, WE MUST DRINK BEER

WE ARE DESCENDANT FROM CONVICTS, AND IT’S IN OUR CULTURE TO DRINK

WE LIVE IN THE CONVICT COLONY

OH YEAH, BOW BOW, WE DRINK EVERY BEER UNDER THE TABLE, AND GET BLIND

YEAHH GET WASTED, MAN, WASTED, MAN

AND THEN COOK A BEAUTIFUL LAMB CHOP ON THE BBQ, DUDES

YEAH IT SOUNDS RADICAL, SO RADICAL, LIVING IN AUSTRALIA, WITH A CAN OF BEER AND A NICE LAMB

EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME, THERE ARE 2 LAMBS HERE

YEAH, IF THEY ARE BOTHERING YA, WE’LL HAVE ‘EM REMOVED

WE ALL LIVE IN THE CONVICT COLONY, THE CONVICT COLONY

THE ONLY REASON I LIKE AUSTRALIA DAY IF, IS THE NICE AUSTRALIA DAY BBQ BREAKFAST AT COMMONWEALTH PARK, IT SOUNDS SO RAD

AUSTRALIANS DRINK THEIR BEER, AND PROUD TO DRINK THEIR BEER

GET BLIND AND END UP IN THE DITCH, I LIKE HOW AUSTRALIANS PARTY ON AUSTRALIA DAY, IT’S COOL

BUT THEN THEY STILL THINK IT’S COOL TO DRIVE HOME DRUNK, NO IT’S NOT COOL TO DRIVE HOME DRUNK

BUDDHA DOESN’T APPROVE OF DRINKING LOUTS, EITHER DOES CRONUS, WHO IS ME

NO, I BELIEVE IN A GOOD CLEAN PARTY, A PARTY, WHERE EVERYONE, I MEAN EVERYONE RICH OR POOR ARE SAFE

I AM THE COOL PEOPLE’S LITTLE SKATEGOAT, AND I AM A BIT OF A SILLY GOAT

CAUSE, I KNOW MY STORIES ARE HELPING A LOT OF PEOPLE

WE DO LIVE HERE IN AUSTRALIA, MATE, WHERE WE LIVE IN A CULTURE OF REAL COOL PARTY GOERS

AND THE PROBLEM IS, THEY TAKE THE PARTY ON TO BEING KILLED OR KILLING SOME INNOCENT FAMILY

AND CRONUS, WHO IS ME DOESN’T ALOOW THIS, I AM NO OLD FOGIE I JUST CARE FOR THE WELLBEING OF MY FELLOW, MAN

I LIKE THE IDEA, OF PEOPLE LEAVINGT EACH OTHER ALONE, IF I DON’T WANT TO DRINK WITH YOU, I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO

CARE FOR YA FELLOW MAN, THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY PHILOSOPHY

I RESPECT YOU AS LONG AS YOU FOLLOW THE PARTY CODE, LIKE ME

WE ALL LIVE IN THE CONVICT COLONY, THE CONVICT COLONY THE CONVICT COLONY

IT’S IN AUSTRALIA’S CULTURE TO HAVE A FEW BEERS, YEAH MATE YEAH YEAH I’M RAD

AND THEN MR FRED HAMILTON, WHO IS A FIRM BELIEVER IN POOR RIGHTS

SAW SOME DRUNKS PICKING ON A HOMELESS MAN, SAYING, YOU ARE NOT A REGULAR AUSTRALIAN, YOU HAVEN’T GOT A BEER

AND FRED CAME UP AND SAID, YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE YOU BUNCH OF CRAZY DRUNKS

HE IS HOMELESS, HE CAN’T AFFORD BEER, HE CAN’T AFRORD WINE, LEAVE HIM ALONE AND FRED GAVE THE HOMELESS MAN $50 TO SPEND HOW HE SEES FIT

FRED SANG WE ALL LIVE IN THE CONVICT COLONY, THE CONVICT COLONY THE CONVICT COLONY

IT’S IN OUR CULTURE IN AUSTRALIA TO DRINK AND TREAT THE HOMELESS PEOPLE LIKE DIRT, THE HOMELESS ARE JUST TRYING TO FIT IN

AND THEY BECAUSE OF TONY ABBOTT, THEY ARE FORCED TO EAT THEIR ******* FROM A BIN

THEY ARE TRYING TO FIT IN, TO SOCIETY, WHEN NOBODY GIVES A WINK

WE ALL LIVE IN THE CONVICT COLONY, THE CONVICT COLONY THE CONVICT COLONY

IT’S IN AUSTRALIA’S CULTURE TO DRINK ON AUSTRALIA DAY, HAVE A BEER, AND GET INTO A FIGHT, MAKES YOU A REAL AUSTRALIAN, I DON’T BELIEVE IN VIOLENCE IN THAT WAY

ENJOY DRINKING AND GETTING ******, BUT I SAY, NO VIOLENCE, I SAY NO VIOLENCE

WHY DO YOU WANT VIOLENCE ANY WAY, PEOPLE JUST END UP GETTING HURT, IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE

IF YA WANNA FIGHT, TAKE UP BOXING, WHERE THE OTHER PERSON WANTS TO FIGHT ALSO

TOO MANY PEOPLE GET KILLED FROM ILLEGAL FIGHTING, TOO MANY PEOPLE GET KILLED FROM ILLEGAL FIGHTING TOO MANY PEOPLE GET KILLED FROM ILLEGAL FIGHTING

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH CELEBRATING AUSTRALIA DAY, MATE, BUT KEEP THE VIOLENCE OFF THE STREET, UMMMMMMM ME WHO IS CRONUS HAS SPOKEN AND SPOKEN I SHALL

WE ALL LIVE IN THE CONVICT COLONY THE CONVICT COLONY THE CONVICT COLONY

IT’S AUSTRALIA DAY MATE, BY ALL MEANS PARTY, HAVE A BBQ, ENJOY THE FESTIVITIIES, JUST LIKE ME

BUT BE GOOD PEOPLE, YOU ****** WELL SEE

AND THEN I WALKED IN THE ROOM, CRACKED OPEN A COKE CAN AND SAY HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY EVERYONE, AND BE GOOD

I stand beneath this crumbling bridge
An echo from the past
And ponder who has come before
A matey or a lass.
Did they cross this bridge
With hopes held high
With dreams of far off lands
A soldier on his way to war
Two lovers hand in hand.
I stand beneath this crumbling bridge
It's brackets Worn and old,
It seems to bow before me,
It's secrets still untold.
Standing still I faintly hear
A whisper or the wind,
Maybe those who've gone before
Are coming home again.
I stand beneath this crumbling bridge,
Drinking in its glory,
And if I listen closely,
I hear it's untold story.

The tortoise has began
To sniff aloud impatiently,
Causing the *** full of

Palm-wine to burst into flames,
But the bat can only
Think of himself as a bird,

Let the yam tendril
Grow rapidly in this season,
For this matey idea
Engenders glowing nightmares,

Now know this,
The sacrifices of palm-wine
Cannot be substituted with water,
For your departure has caused
Me to sleep with the magic owl,

Oh yes, hear the sparrow
Singing your conventional song,
Listen dear, listen!

Listen and quicken the precious
Beads on your convex hips,
So that my heavy heart

Can behold her boisterousness,
Even though good beads
Do not speak in public,

Indeed, the machete has
Fallen on the wrong victim,
For I left the chicken undisguised,
And the ravenous hawk
Took an instinctive care of it,

***** dear, *****!
***** all your pain
Into the thirsty calabash,
For I have evinced

A strong desire to be
Reconciled with your love,
So, let our imperturbable love
Unfold as the implacable day unfolds,

Obaahemaa Nyarkowaa,
The mother of my heart,
Please forgive my dumb insolence,
For I acted out of love.


© PRINCE NANA ANIN-AGYEI
Email: nanaspeaks@gmail.com

My wife agreed to marriage counseling before the great divorce,
and of course, she picked the counselor.  This is it; one session, one shot at redemption.  I waited with bated breath for the day to arrive.
It did.  We met at his office, where hope was dashed to shreds like a ship
on a coral reef, like dreams of domestic bliss made of glass and shattered on the kitchen floor with no broom to sweep them up.
We shouldn't get lawyers and go to court.  We should have a funeral and sing, Rock of Ages, because divorce is the death of a family.

The room is nice and cold as ice, and he's friendly, boisterous, and bold, but here's the clincher, he wore an eye patch.  Maybe he had surgery or some type of injury, but everything he said was drowned out by the voice in my head that screamed, "He looks like a pirate, and no ******* pirate is going to tell me how I should have been a better husband."  I quickly scanned the room for a cage where he kept his parrot, which usually sat on his shoulder and sang old songs of the sea.  I glanced at his right hand, but conveniently it was hidden by the desk.  Now I was sure.  It wasn't a hand at all, but a hook, that he used to scratch his ***, or to spear the shreds of broken lives left over from a long day's work.  His hand was probably a casualty, lost on a voyage to a shark he tried to advise.

I leaned over and whispered in my wife's ear, "Where did you find this ******* nut. Long John Silvers?"  The humor eluded her like the sunken treasure did the old sea dog that sat across from me.  I swore if he said, "Aye aye matey."  I would smack him, and jack his ship, and maybe my wife and I would sail south to the Caribbean, not to the ride at Disneyland, Pirates of the Caribbean, but to the islands, where we would lie **** on the sandy beaches and drink Pina Coladas, or some other fruit-filled umbrella drink, until we were so drunk we couldn't see straight, and all our problems would sink like the setting sun into a brand new horizon.  But the old scalawag had no pirate lingo, so the hour came and went, our money was poorly spent, and it was lunchtime, and I was bent on seafood.

oi! Bronson! **** ya matey! i'm a sardine oiled up! that paddy is gonna hang like a dog on a serpentine of a leash's worth of walkies... that paddy's gonna hang and ask for the relay gun at the Olympics going off... paddy was never the bricklayer... paddy always gangrene flex, got lucky in Arizona and New York, forked St. Petersburg and only forked a steak nibble... Bronson settled into retirement just fine, came out a ******* act-tor! pepper the bobby with parking meter fines for his bureaucratic funfair study... sooner or later Jimmy the literate will turn up, and replace Bob the illiterate swine cuffing someone ******* in an alley.*

oh, i'd probably become
an english teacher
and sing ****-yeah
when the drone army of
Amazon couriers fed us
the next 21 hour trip in
defence against the Koran...
so i guess ha ha is in order.

and with every mythical Mrs.,
you tell 'em about the castration
in the synagogue, and never about the
baritone in the morgue.

He can’t get any shorter than an alphabet
Breathes mountain air pens mountain-speak
World he might roam but his love’s nest
Rests in his heartland the Stoney Creek!

He finds bliss in that blessed harbor
With his matey crazy Daisy
Walking a moonlight of bone color
In half-sleep star-eyed crazy!

On his journey along river tide
He tells of his joy and loneliness
Takes you on the deck on his side
Sails you with a sailor’s finesse!

He’s a graceful alphabet
A layer of love brick by brick
In him lives a  confiding mate
Whose love lives in Stoney Creek!

Tessa VII




I am curious, on your man, woman- advice friends. Tac-
tically impotence only wants to say, what if? The long line of
this hissing in my ear can drive me mad. And than I'm saying
'Look who's talking'. It's the diplomacy on treading carefully
on your feelings. What if I hurt you and lot's of apologies?

Your friends are holding me in contempt for loving the way
that you are. Or, that could be a state of the art opinion and
self hollowness, when liberated for too long. Horses don't eat
meat or Beef Wellington. And you are a fine equus, I know...
I am waiting for this morphology, muscles turning to butterflies.

Nine days ago we were in unfamiliar territories, still. A diamond
had fallen from off the forehead unto the floor, a stony wall
horizon. I am following the Ivy towards your thinly path through
the woods. It is more than a thought, or impulse. If you want
my advice, a moment's blindness could do us many wonders.






Tessa VIII




Where is the fountain of youth in our future, today, tomorrow,
thereafter? Interesting seeing or watching two adults trying
hard to find this childlike 'would you like to be my friend?' talk.
Men walk through rocks and mountains, and women are at the
tunnel's end waiting for collision. Questions are being asked,

whether we started off the wrong way. It wasn't in my app, or
yours and looming before us. You grassed me up, I am a British
criminal of the surreal land. Marshes and bush are on fire, I like
singing this song. Or change all this to care for each other, and
forget that we are pixies. I never liked Kilroy, my late

confession. ET went home, alone, and now is staying on the
planet of Extraterrestrial. As for your idyllic nature the fountain
of youth was love. A quiet place in the evenings perhaps, and
I will find you there. Halfway under the full moon and spider's
mating season. If death may be the fate I may find, playwright.






Tessa IX



I need a cigarette, chuckle at something trivial, or go to bed and
call for the whales. Why it end up here in this way is only
making sense if you are a living memory. What is the story of
your life, a matey question unanswered. You are trying to hide
from triviality, I get that impression from afar. Pain in my shoul-

der, just off the blade. Are we going somewhere this after-
noon? The cricket field is empty or mental asylum. How do
we pretend in a pretend world? Let's get M, the M- word,
or negation and forensics. I need a hug or group hug of you
and me. If you can't laugh now, I am not a comedian, S U C.

Man Overboard

the storm was well observed
you could see it in the distance
signs of discourse obvious
there was way too much resistance

the skies were turning hell fire red
serpent seas thrashing at the sides
visibility extremely limited in his head
prepare for oncoming tides

batten down the hatches matey
set the main sail in it's proper place
rocking to and fro sickness coming on
taking on excessive water splashing in his face

the bilge pump is out of order
sinking deeper by the moment
huge wave of discontent knocking now
increasing the internal torment

with a final fling of natures force
all this energy that was stored
flung him to his watery grave
sos came the call the man was overboard
  
hypothermia wont take to long
to settle in his aching heart
bitter cold words of his final song
tearing the canvas binding all apart

Morpheus aka Gomer LePoet...

I did sleep in House of Whispers
True storm, enormous proportion
Voices heard not of lispers
Things spoken had no distortion
Sleep wrecked by bent contortion

Her breath broke in, spitting damage
Window, door, shuttered madness
Hurricane Sandy rained so ravage
Spirits moaned wailing sea of sadness
The mate looked on with ever gladness

Garbled jumble, gelatinous formation
Distinctly mocking circumstances
Sandy spoke of men lost by nation
Poet reminded how nature dances
Lives, houses, relations, left to chances

She broke trees, lifted sharks ashore
House of Whispers stood, listened
Her warnings raised tides, emoting more
Matey's  blue eyes spoke, glistened
Embraced evolved nature stiffened

I see the darkness fill the street
Yet I see your face shining through the night
And I think to myself what a wonderfull smile
Yeah! I think I’m right

I think it’s better if could stay
You don’t to need pay
But all you need is just to say
That “I wanna be free, and live like you”

Cuz ur a friend, who can see thru me.
Into my heart where I cannot be
But I now can, because of  you.
Thank you for being a friend

i will be the one and only
try to do what u really want
dont care what they say
i will be your best matey

the child molestor gets captured in the psych ward



harry thumping was a simple guy who loved the quiet life, but there was an evil side

which made him grab kids and feel their *****’s or vaginas and tie them up to the

jungle jim, and each day the kids saw harry they all screamer hoping that harry

won’t grab them, but harry grabbed on child and tied him up and then he grabbed

another kid and said heh heh heh, and every time he went home, the voices said

your still like the kids matey, heh heh heh, which was just a voice, but it seemed

real for harry as the force was pushing harry down saying your still a young dude

your still a little young dude, i will keep treating you like this, till he stop grabbing children

in the park, you see you are a hooligan harry, you are a danger to our children, and harry’s dad

said, why are you a shy hooligan, harry, be like us, be a family person, don’t think moo cow and ships

on children’s legs, it seems weird, you can go to gaol for that, you need to understand we are looking after

you right, you can’t go around grabbing kids in parks, you could force a lot of good people to be *****

and you must lose that voice your still a young dude, because the kids are young dudes harry

you are an awful man and harry went out ******* with his father and grabbed a few children

at the park and this kid was devious and cunning and told the police and the police caught harry

and he had to spend the night in the lockup and harry asked the police how long will i be in here

and the police yelled out A LONG TIME, thinking that harry was a hardened criminal or something

and with harry’s phone call, he phoned his parents, and they were shocked, and said why would a son of mine

go around committing crimes like this, you see we love kids and i thought harry did too, and mr thumping gave

ron a call and said, i think my son harry is mental because he got caught for grabbing kids at the park, and

i want to pay you $400-000 to give my son the best help possible, i am sure my son is mental because we are

a law abiding family and ron went over to the police station and picked up harry and brought him over to the

HDU, where ron will talk to find out what his reason for his crime, and harry thumping said i have these evil

thoughts on sexually assaulting kids and ron asked why do you do this, do you hate kids, and harry said

no, i like kids, i just am playing a little game, where i slice their moo cows and rip their ships in half and

every time a kid passes me, he will run and say, ya can’t get me harry darry, i said, leave those old fogies on their own

aqnd come to my cage, where i will rip your moo cows and destroy your ships and i remember these boys who saw

me crawling through the drainpipes, but they did nothing to me there, but in my voices i can hear them teasing me

so i took revenge on kids at the park, and ron said do you realise you look like a phedaphile, and harry said

no, i didn’t then, but i do now, thanks for telling me, i am no phedaphile, i just wanted to get them kids back to what is being

said in my voices, ron asked as the lunches were being brought out, you do realise that the voices are not real, and

harry said no, but i do now, i think and harry joined big harry and tommy and patty roe and charlie chaplin for the big lunch

feast, and ron went to his computer to see what is wrong with harry thumping and then looked into risperidal which will slow his

urges down and it could also slow his body down too, but while he is after kids, we have to take our chances, and until the

medications kick in, we must put him in our isolation room, for tommy’s safety, but ron thought that was very extreme

seeing he likes talk therapy and medication, as it works much better, and after lunch, ron took harry thumping to the

isolation room to rest till the end of the day, it wasn’t easy, as harry was kicking and biting and scratching ron, like he

was a wild animal escaping from the zoo, and when they eventually took harry to the isolation room, he was given a ******

which put him to sleep for 5 hours, and then as soon as ron noticed he was up, ron brought his dinner in, and harry said, thanks to him

and after he ate dinner, he put the TV on in the isolation room, and watched the news, and when the news labelled him

a convicted pedaphile, he yelled for hours

GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT

GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT

I AM NOT A PEDAPHILE, I WAS MERELY PLAYING WITH THE KIDS

I AM NOT A PEDAPHILE

GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT GET ME OUT

and ron came in and said, is there anything i could help you with, and harry said, the fucken world are saying i am a pedaphile

and i am a player, i play with kids, and ron said, yeah i realise you might’ve been playing but the kids didn’t want you to grab them

yiou touched these kids against their will, you were inappropriate and harry said, yeah maybe so, but i wasn’t meaning them no harm

and ron said, here is risperidal, this will slow down the urges you have, ok, and ron said remember that pedaphile label, is probably the press

and parents of the children, it’s not us, ok, so relax and we will come in and give you some supper and ron didn’t go at that point, he wanted

to take the supper into harry, because, the victims are always looking out for each other, and i don’t think harry is safe outside these walls

for the time being, and ron added that, it’s good he’s got his own TV, we might be able to get close to understanding what triggered him off

especially if he said he ain’t a pedaphile, and at supper time, ron took 8 sandwiches and a hot chocolate to harry, and he was watching

greys anatomy, and there was a pedaphile there as well, and harry said, i don’t mean to harm the kids, i was just playing, you see look

at this kid here, waiting for his mother to be finished her operation, now, if i gave kids like him happiness, it’lbe alright and ron said, no

it isn’t alright, it’s not appropriate you see, sure the kids will say yes, but they are really small and vulnerable and if i allowed that

i could be up on charges for allowing it and you will be in gaol for doing it and after the supper was finished, ron took it back to the kitchen

and clocked off and went to the pizza hut to buy a pizza and then went home to his couch, ate pizza and watched TV and then fell asleep

on the couch, thinking about what he could do for harry thumping

actually, editing poetry, or simple adding to it as a form of editing is the most enjoyable allowance of art... it's the perfectly-pitched whimsical allowance... all you're investing is a second chance viewing of what was originally intended but not perfected. i wish i could have italicised the review insertions so you might mind to tell the original from the revised apart; but, as ever, i write these pre-scriptum intros for an overall stance on editing's graces.*

i don't know, it's like magic... i get state sponsorship
of a debility cheque that's £120 a week, i drink a 70cl bottle
of whiskey a day among a few beers...
i watch the sunset,  i watch the sunrise...
i read newspapers, i laze all day trying to
bring exfoliation to many ****** dreams and ambitions...
i read reviews of books about seismic shifts and some sort
of -ology... get used to reading, rendezvous
at a library, or a graveyard...
carry a concrete crux in the midst of
a "the existence of a soul" psychedelia...
rebel! rebel! oompa loompa! gooey goo mascara!
capitalism can't sell me life...
**** you not, it can't sell it to me...
it can try... but trying is hardly the 100% quote
you need for PREFECT EMPLOYEE VERSATILITY...
i too care for Armani underwear to show
off prior to a hard-on...
look here, a ******'s likened hard-on
upon waking, but really wanting to take a ****...
and so it flows, cascades of the golden drizzle...
man translates toxins as yellow... ironic liquid sunshine...
mind you, it's hard to play a piano that only
voices surds... #plato or descartes-dur?
you get the river invocation too? noting
the chemists i too would have joined in that labyrinth march
claiming to be a river of slacked smoothing over
(connotations with aged silver or crippled dull mahogany):

                      run away the heavenly;
                      lost souls of reverie;
                      running wild and running free;
                      two kids, just you and me;
                      and i say hey, hey hey hey,
                      living along with the renegades!
                      
ah never mind the advert royalties... the feeling
sticks like a pancake to a frying-pan...
arr ma'h matey! to cross frontiers of forgotten
hopes, and an 'o! captain my captain!' note in the margins
for the glory of a sinking ship with
all the immigrant rats on board,
with all the rats seeking sewers at the grand seas;
indeed too much sympathy for the Hindus
burning the dead and never minding the food-chain...
cremation and a sovereignty as nature intended:
overcome the festivity of insects in your zombie
grey body prior to overcoming the tsunami.

Sailing the briny seas,
the winds taking us where they please.

A parrot on my shoulder,
"Pieces of eight," it repeats over and over.

If there is mutiny in the ranks,
aye matey, they will walk the plank.

Other ships we will plunder for gold
and any prisoner we will stick in the hold.

A treasure map we have found,
X marks the spot on the ground.

And once we have found the treasure chest,
we will sail off into the sunset.

ALesiach © 11/08/2014

What I say and what I do
ne'er be they the same.

Talking like a pirate
Arrr, matey, play the game.

Dates of birth
and sketching turf

We're all sinners
consistent

Can I Write something that's life giving,
Now that I'm being persistent?

Lets wrote poor grammar
Syntax and spalling awry

I can't write worth anything,
And only sometimes, can tie a tie.

The coldness of winter stretched everywhere.
Is there any possibility to remain alive?
I scrutinized around but they all appeared same,
Young boys with an expression of terror.
‘Is anybody there?!’ I gave out a long shout;
My voice echoed through the lonely desert.
No sound responded except my own.
Sometimes ago it was tremendously noisy
But with the trade of violence everybody hushed.
I walked around searching for existence;
Walking through the crowd of silence wasn’t easy,
As I frequently stumbled upon the figures of dead.
Some of the faces weren’t recognizable
Yet I identified the fear in their appearances.

Suddenly, my eyes fell upon my companion!
It seemed like he was having a bad dream.
His body was pierced by the bullets.
‘Wake up, matey!’ I shouted at him
‘Your mother breathes with a hope!’
But he didn’t care to answer back to me.
Tears welled up my eyes and so I spoke:
‘You have given up your life but for what?
Death for death? Suffering for sufferance?
I know you have sacrificed your breath
Yet you will live a forgotten death…’