Beer bottles thrown on broken walls
Your children hide as you try to crawl
hes made you a sheep
to afraid to stand up
Your children are to young
so they shut up
How can you tell your children everyday before school
To believe in themselves when everyone seems cruel
How do you look them in the eyes without getting sick
Because when you tell them good bye you have to put up with that *****
When the nurse asks you tell them to lie
when it was him who gave you that black eye
And they are to young but they understand
That if their mother puts up
Its ok not to raise a hand
Your daughter will grow up thinking that its all rite
to have your husband beet you up almost every night
And have your children cry out for their mother
but because she has a fat lip
they get no answer
That its ok to curl up in the middle of the floor
after he's said he wont hit you no more
And because you let them see what happened your daughter will grow up
to expect it to happen
so stop what your doing and open your eyes
your children lurn by the look in your eyes
if you were a mother and a good one at that
when he first punched you, you would have called it that
left with your children and said your good byes
but no your children fall asleep to your cry's at night

Through this fire I will make you burn
On and on, you people never learn

With these hands broken scared
I will turn you into a work of art

I'll mend your bones
I'll melt your skin
I'll drag you to the dark


Don't fight
as I tear you apart
Never once always twice
don't even try to get away
you're here to stay

holding back the fire
slipping to desire
waiting for the crash
everything turns to ash

**how could we face this
How did we turn into this
Broken I am changed
I know ill never be the same

Hello, yha its me
I hope your all rite after I chose to leave
They said it would get easer after I was gone
but from the looks of it your finding it hard to move on
I just wanted to let you know
that after all it was me who chose to go
so don't blame yourself for what happened
their wasn't anything you could have done to stop it  from coming

Hey mom, can you hear me?
I'm in heaven but I am not gone
I can see you when your crying
but don't you know that seeing this makes it hurt worse?
I would rather you forget all about me
than live another day crying because I wasn't strong enough to go on
I forgotten what it felt like
to be taken from the world
so mother pleas forgive me
I never meant to make your heart hurt

Hello Dad how are you?
how's the family
how has it been after you burred me down beneath the earth
I hope you know im sorry
but I couldn't stay much longer
Everything seemed to hurt
and even thou I tried my lungs still burned
so tell my brothers that im all rite
and that it wont help to cry

Hey, can you hear me?
are you listening
All I wanted was to be happy
Its so different now that I cant speak to you
So I hope your doing all rite
im sorry for what I have done
Im only calling you so you can lurn to move on
Forget me if you have to
Don't let my death ruin you

Hello, dear family
I left because although you couldn't see
my chest hurt so badly
and with every breath I wanted to be dead
so if you hate me I get it
I never meant for you to have to deal with it
so I guess this is it
im sorry if you stop listening
just letting you know
that I don't want anyone to follow me down
I hope you relies that I have made my choice

Goodbye my mother
and I love you so much my brothers and father
no matter whir I go
I will love no other
goodbye
so long
I will see you again when your time has come

I left but I still see tem, yes they have moved on
you still call them your friends but they haven't been that way for long
your gone and everything's changing , but you have not rite to care
their not your friends anymore
but then why do I feel bare?
watch on with a simple smile as they all go on without you
say your good byes' to the life you hade because they live on without you

You thought it would be different that we would go away?
But no the monsters inside your head we are hear to stay
Now your some weir new  you tuck for granted all that you had
you walked away now your hanging your head
what was the point of leaving your still miserable
all that's changed are the new faces you have to lurn to fool!      
            Those people knew who you were all the cuts and bruises to they all knew the same pain even thou you never knew
but now go look weir you are not a signal one can see
if you say one word much more pain they'll be
So the scars they must weight over top of unseen skin your not allowed to talk about what their has been
       so if she ends up taking her life don't look so surprised
in her heart she knew that it was ok...that you could live without her

you know ill put back the peace's together
just to get a glimpse  of what went wrong
Yeah I can see that now your with her
but cant you hear their playing our song
it goes like this
a melody
a good night kiss
you've got a part of me
and no matter weir you go
no matter how far your life takes you
Ill remember this just this moment
nothing more
I know ill see you off and on just running about
And to think that she brought back your smile
Is all that I really care about
so don't you worry
don't give this a second thought
its all rite
I can lurn to move on
just remember me as long as you can
I hope your happy
as you hold her hand

ol' jackie boy never fails...
bring me a litre of bourbon:
i'll try not to drink it all...
it's not even about pistons
and the sharpening of tools...
i'd love to cuddle some
more... but...
owning cats opened my eyes
to what's doubly-worth cuddling...
something furry...
although...
once i blunted my fingertips more
so than... expected...
on a brick wall...
i figured... if i take a feel of some
bricks... touching a woman's naked
body would allow me to
transcend the purpose of this otherwise
ugly itch of a: sacrificial lamb
at the altar...
Bertrand Russell's history of western
philosophy is still my no. 1 book...
well... Stendhal's the scarlet & the black...
oddly enough: only after i watched a
movie adaptation
starring Ewan McGregor as Sorel
and Ms. Weisz... oh i forget...
i just finished watching Mare of East-town...
my god...
apparently old age is hell for women...
she wasn't much to look at
when she starred in Titanic...
but look at her now!
she looks like am armchair...
comfortable as well-worn leather...
i'lll rarely mention anyone famous who isn't...
subsequently: also... dead...
but... this fiend of a woman is aging like
a man...
she's having all these pronounced features
of new discovery detailing her face...
like a Julian Moore...
Kate Winslet is aging like a man...
she's becoming more attractive with age...
must be a pseudo-Faustian pact of sorts...
of note...
one my favourite maxims of my
recently deceased grandfather...
'there are no ugly women...
there are only... neglected women...'
look at me... throw me into the arms of some
bulgarian ******* all bulging like
a beached whale...
i'll **** anything that moves...
but then again: no... i don't want to
break a tendon... i don't want a crane to work with...
i like the concept of the spine...
there's a beached whale voluptuous -
sexed up parabolas of curvature...
revising cubism...
and then there's just an eating disorder
the antonym of... anorexia...
oh i spotted two on my bicycle run through
the city... daddy-long-legged spider-esque
"things"...
but i am inclined to believe it:
there are no ugly women...
there are only neglected women...
derelict houses of leftover **** squat-ers...
- so as bicycle from the tease of distance
of the m25 through to st. paul's cathedral...
passing little Bangladesh of Ilford...
Manor Park... Forrest Gate...
it's not until reaching the sq. mile and brick lane...
there are no ugly women...
there are only neglected women...
the odd chance of a borrowed bicycle
and a solipsist with a fever to itch my
fist... while i reprimand myself
and: slow, down... on the anger against
this... giggle-traffic...
so i scratch my head: although i have no
itch... i'm just trying to calm down...
that's why i love the concept of creating
my own momentum...
even though... a horse at full gallop...
with the added thrill of teasing a wheelchair
and feeding through tubes...
i never had a fancy for cars...
a double-decker bus, yes...
there are no ugly women...
only... neglected women...
i wish it was like it was...
                  we could fiddle: fool spaghetti...
take each other on a turn...
even though... i can't supply a detail of
a body-count that might be...
somehow: competition savvy akin
to homosexual hook-up culture...
i speeded via Soho and found nothing
of what i expected from Amsterdam...
i want to... i "want" to... to hell with your wants...
i love women for the very fact
that i can't have them...
it's like having pets...
this much i can understand...

looks like i don't have the sort of money to
keep one on a pretend leash...
who conjures up a leech on a leash?
but ol' jack never fails...
jack is not expected to fail...
if jack fails... all else fails...

i've never seen so much of Loon'doon
as i have... only recently...
i could... venture into the countryside...
eh... why bother?
i want to be a tourist of a different kind:
i want to read into faces...
as they pass me by...
i want to read these faces
sometimes with protruding details...
sometimes without... even though...
they are... Somalian artefacts...
or...

               that's what i'm allowed to
confiscate: gravitate towards...
junctions of anger at woman...
as they come sooner rather than later:
recede...
i could be bitter and juiced-up for:
enough's a while: a while too prolonged...
she has ordained herself chess-master
and i'm merely scribbling...
it's not me... plumber... banker...
surgeon...             invest in a year that never
comes... conquest for the concern of words...

cold heartened visceral conquest of "man"....
at some point there was a narrative...
at some point it made: "sense"...
i'm trapped in a speedy assumption...
well only the teenage girls notice
me: as i, and they, know,
no better!

              the iron maiden cusp of time...
there are no ugly women
in this world... there are only neglected..
types, typos...
i truly want to be in love:
with love, again...
how... "something" or "nothing"
has to be this...

contrampl-
             cintrapleusised,,,
centralize-...
evil advent...
                   not counter...
no... compontranlised...
shuffling details of an envelope...
compartments...
i know there's a word...
    compartmentalised....
   i'll sooner
grit out: onomatopoeia than...
           compartmentalised.....
i too might take grief on the spelling...
round and round around Hyde Park,,,
a concept of a sinking sink....
grief of a foretold sheering of a Hyena "wool"..

it's not like English is impossible to leech of lurn...
it's just... it's own...
my own... beginnings... lost ends...
someone's end... beginning proper...
it's just tiresome to be...
noticed... by no other that 16 year old school girls...
"****" just undermines my masculinity...
then again: "maybe" it doesn't...

give me something furry...
i'll be sooner to cuddle it as sleep-prone than...
the naked piglet...
the roughage-recycler or sorts...
why-reach "beyond":
pivots on h'irish mafia...
i'd be sooner death than tell a...
grief of off a lie...

i want to be in love with women
like i might have been:
been given the pardon of youth's excuses...
that half: the least expecting demand of..
it will hardly become quizzical should i...
or any other: "progress e.g." make...
she needs ingesting...
she needs... foetal brain-drain...
i get it... poo'et... i write for... what?
procrastination?
              you sell me a ******* van gogh...
i tell you: it's not so bad..
jerking off...
i tell you... i sometimes put on latex gloves
when i write... when i ******* i start imagining
an elephant's ****.... to make reemphasis of
came the mammoth...
came some... space...
                  
once upon a time: i loved women...
once upon a time it was not as nearly impossible to
gratify them...
since that time.... since...
i want to... invest myself in imagining
a unicorn... i really do...
but then again... i loved women as much
as i will reiterate:
there are no ugly women...
there are only neglected women...

women akin to:
sooner i **** my sister than i wed you
as: most-stranger posit... gene safe... replenish basin...
it's not fair...
this crux of a stone-heart-entombing...
i want the wild nights of Barcelona...
the... whatever might have mattered in St. Petersburg..

i want you to love me... unlike a dog tied to  a leash
sort of love...
forget you... forget me...

i want to love women...
then again... i'm better loving up the demands
of ******!
look at me... if i were teasing the desire
for a mothering... cringe?