"leadened" poems
I turned on the news tonight, and saw a familiar face
Maya Angelou speaks of Nelson Mandela
“His day is done, our skies are leadened.”
It hit me then,
Forgiveness is more than “Oh…it’s okay…”
If a man, a single freed prisoner, can change a whole country,
can forgive oppression, and depression, and apartheid brutality,
Forgiveness is not simple.
Sorry is not simple.
It’s a chance, to open the door to redemption,
Entire countries have forgiven the inhumanity of the past,
And yet all of us, each day,
Become angry for such small matters.
If nations can rebuild,
If Polish person can love a German
After the Holocaust,
We CAN forgive.
Forgiveness is the key to our self-imposed prisons.
May 16, 2014
May 16, 2014 at 12:53 PM UTC
My heart was leadened
a frozen feather
in dense ice
spiraling in a tornado.
I grew colder building
a shell to weigh me down
so I could stop spinning;
I dreamt of shattering,
splinters on the ground.
You were a single ray of light
that pierced the storm,
calmed the grey-green tempest,
and my shell began to melt.
I finally saw rainbows.
Your warm breeze
took hold of my heart,
carried me,
taught me to dance;
But even feathers hit the ground.
So I tied myself
to the cobwebs in your heart
and became your dreamcatcher.
Dream easy now,
our nightmares have disappeared.
Aug 12, 2012
Aug 12, 2012 at 11:50 PM UTC
I.
The pen
Taps
Against my leadened desk,
All reverberating echoes and
Roaring staccatos:
Something to keep the soldiers
Rooted
In the chalkboard trenches alive-
A cackling reminder of
Freedom.
II.
Peeled away is the blissful world of
Morphine-addled haze
And round edges
The smell of pine trees
And Monday Vendetta.
Up in smoke.
Offered to the gods.
The great big furnace in the sky—
I carry them with me in an ashen urn.
As the days pass
A rhythmic stutter
Lumps
At the bottom of my throat.
Nov 4, 2013
Nov 4, 2013 at 8:35 AM UTC
Leadened yet floating
Arie to the eye
Awry to the soothing whispers,
Of the mother’s cry—
Once beleaguered without volition by self
Now with intuition wrought
Of memories of invisible battles both of fighting and of fought
While the sun shines ever bright,
The bustle a lively hue
Behind the fleeting colors lie
A darkness most uncouth
Oh these vivid pangs of the heavy vast
Seem to forever lie
Within the weightless acquaintance of the ever azure sky
The chains so heavy bite the heels,
But ever do the fated wheels
Spin towards the sun in the East
Towards the lively, the impassioned, the Peace.
The choice lies not within the sky,
Nor in the mother’s tearful eye,
Nor in the darkness of the cloud,
But in the fire refusing the funeral shroud.
Aug 3, 2013
Aug 3, 2013 at 2:59 PM UTC
at a glimpse i clock the sky
a curtain's been draped
and we are all shaded
all of nature shares one direction
narrowing on the horror :
a munking and blotted violation
the sun has filled with dark ink
an embolism out of the order of life
voiding over us
over the city
the world described beyond
all voided over
i fall
dropped
and shucked
the people around me go simple
dumb and bound with crimple gawps
we are mugged by the sight
i feel like a farmed over minefield
furrows being turned
trotted out
anointed fears climb my throat
it is a show sung ill
sol
darker sunk
than its surrounding leadened soak
yet ringed tightly with an annihilating halo
practical thought becomes clotted
and my primal processor is tinkered with
evil witterings squirrel about in my thinker
my being is topped up with depravity
i must surely **** someone ?
but who..
(that kid with drool ? /
that business suit with brand name trainers ?)
and for what reason ?
i madly stare about
look at them ; so human and null
potential victims all
raking in snapshots of this ecliptic venom
adding to the vat collective online
Prune The Brutes !
it is The Eighth Day and I know my role
Ha !
such livid thoughts scheme
i shall wait out this exposure looked down upon
take some pics with the others
perpetrate goodly behaviour
mimic the tossers
pass through the ordeal
with communal protection
and live another day
happy slapped
with fresh mad
thought
Apr 18, 2022
Apr 18, 2022 at 12:28 PM UTC
Everything is gone now, just a jack-in-the box that scares
money's already wasted, **** it I never cared,
as usual this life has leadened, sped up my sorry death -
a song written for the heartbreakers; sung upon my last breath
bloated and black, happiness not as it seemed
destroying the gift that for years I've dreamed,
she gave me her heart and I slashed it wide open
for its clear to see I cannot love, it's clear to see I am broken -
who needs love and it's pathetic excuses
a gnawing feeling both corrosive and abusive,
thy gargantuan question looms with a killer in it's eyes -
had I been in a relationship built upon lies?
Flowers of abnormality bloom upon ashes of mistrust
as my tortured soul frantically flounders in the dust -
down
down
down
the downward spiral again I am shoved,
forever asking if I can ever love, and in return be loved.
Feb 18, 2017
Feb 18, 2017 at 7:14 PM UTC
This blur held me
As dust fell upon dust
The speeding devil
A race upon not won
A corners cut
From a crosses held
The end a must
A drivers tale
This leadened foot
I know so well
Can only lead
Forgotten tale
This is the end
The crash foretells
A marriage broken
The in
Exhaled
Apr 27, 2013
Apr 27, 2013 at 6:37 PM UTC
you drive my car and i am a serious man
a passenger thru dumbland
leadened head laid back
i've been allotted time in that liquid sky
totally fxxxed up but it's bin a day hasn't it?
don't breathe
we are gone
beyond we are eyes without a face
our inter-beings all blood tea and red string
in the wrong hands we are a ****** party
hand in hand you are my spider baby
and i am all ‘mom and dad’ at play
i dread you should say 'i don't know what you mean ?'
...but it doesn't come to that
you allow me
and we are smiles unravelling space and texture
miles of scope and no arrest for the wicked
no rest for the foreign
no reign for the horses no horse for a kingdom
we are kings of this country
yet we belong to this landscape
and its negative edible
riding with you (roof down converted)
we joined the new world
we took a journey to the beginning of time
it feels like we're fleeing an extravagant shared criminal act
i look across at you and the brood of thoughts
are so sedate and fantasy ***** and socially writ
that i broker the realities we’ve borrowed (the flux gourmet splatter of dimensions)
and return us to the pair of cannibals in love that we are
firing out across trip america
an invention for destruction
invited back by life's appetite
[signed] - a love exposure
Nov 9, 2024
Nov 9, 2024 at 11:06 AM UTC
Cold, freezing, stinging, sideways rain
catches me off guard
A grey, leadened sky; it falls;
wisps of raincloud; swirl twist,
mix. Somewhere thunder echoes through
empty, flooded streets, brazen and cold
A few children in a narrow alley;
half naked in dark puddles, among broken crates
and trash and a wet, decomposing smell. Smiles
at the cold water between their toes
and numb feet
Shrieks and cries at distorted pictures
in the muddy water. Freezing water splashed
in each others face, until they are blue, or
their mothers call for them;
they playfully run for cover
Thin layers of cloud, pulled back like velvet
curtains. Pulled back, revealing a brief sunlit
puddle. The children see it, face first to the
icy water, but the curtain drops,
a thud on the empty stage.
Dec 15, 2011
Dec 15, 2011 at 1:43 PM UTC
most nights
you decant into my head wounds
you suggest my makeup
orchestrate my being
and sometimes
for fun
prank me with ridiculous ideas
that inspire some absurd social pratfall
lure
you make me warm and sure of myself
struck and sense numbed
but
floss in the memory
tide
i am a Diving Suit
but in misuse
i am a suit
the pressure
the deep ocean
filled from the inside
cold
darkness
and nutrients
but
i am filled from the inside
pipette
you tap drops
into special valves
along the sides of the aquarium helmet
you decorate my inner-scape
with harvesting monsters
and phosphorescence
you deteriorate the textile of my sadness
a thorough jettison
lull
via your Vegas
your adolescence
i follow your string of lights
deep sea
skiving mortality
embracing your malady
with no ill effects ?
sink deeper still
i am leadened
to your charge
and plumb to your will
deeper
Nov 18, 2019
Nov 18, 2019 at 8:20 PM UTC
Shaded trees
please cover me
twine and vine have
started unwinding
my limbs are hanging
they wax
they are waning
and you won't stop
I'm still complaining
you tempted me into branches so thick
their fingers dipped in sap do stick
to my sagging thoughts
my leadened mind
I just want your gaze
my worries to bind
want my moods it to raise
and my secrets to find.
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 8:46 PM UTC
My body is weak and restless
Toys scattered, sweated brow
Been working at tiring myself out for hours
Nothing gives
****** after mind blowing ******
Still hungry
Ravenous, without satiation
Unable to keep my hands to myself
Therein lies the problem
Want and need **** a fine line
Between my ability to control and my ability to let go
Breathe it all in, in one great gasping breath
Your scent ribbons through the chaos
Single minded focus on Northern winds
Edged with snow capped romance
Gets me going, gets me hot
Too hot, drop it
Butterflies join the descent
Crimson splashes behind my eyelids
Oxygen deprivation presses in with heavy, leadened weight
Just. A. Little. More.
Yessssss
Echoing cries as back bowed, muscles wound tight
Explosion. Atomic fire ball. Liquid.
Catching air from the landing
I curl up into a self-love hazed ball
Ready for the next round
Jun 26, 2014
Jun 26, 2014 at 3:35 PM UTC
This blur held me
As dust fell upon dust
The speeding devil
A race upon not won
A corners cut
From a crosses held
The end a must
A drivers tale
This leadened foot
I know so well
Can only lead
Forgotten tale
This is the end
The crash foretells
A marriage broken
The in
Exhaled
Apr 27, 2013
Apr 27, 2013 at 6:37 PM UTC
it is much like rain this hot evening,
prompt in arrival to assuage default
settings
like most days when in the intimate dark
which love I clutch and whose
hands i ****** shatter before me
between the moment just arriving
and the press of disappearance
this body that dartles onto the leadened
cathedral of your heart, the jaundice
of your repeated self accumulates
to harangue this true evening yellow
starting a burlesque of moon, flushed
in the punctuation of mildew. grass
its fragrance the first time and the last,
translated - a revision of wind's gesticulstions. else it was strangely always
pure dusk, wide-eyed, awake in futurity
dare the hands clench and the feet
mingle with swift pace much like
rain this evening forgetting
a jammed, rusted parasol
your first time underneath the world,
Summer ending in a blink of an eye,
a stab of bated breath.
Mar 28, 2016
Mar 28, 2016 at 6:56 AM UTC