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Creep Oct 2014
Why are we so lazy to even write out happy birthday and we have to use HBD? gosh, that just demeans the whole birthday! Well today is my friend Dani Chase's birthday, go check her out shes pretty cool and writes good stuff, but just wanted to tell her happy birthday and thank you for everything; for being a my rock when i went all crazy and fangirly, for being there to share my own bsge stresses, for being all tomboy up in here with me :) happy birthday, dear, i hope you have a good one with all your wishes coming true! :D and thank you, there are no words to describe how grateful i am to have you ^~^
and ps, dont struggle when we come to kidnap you for an adventure someday this week ;)
happy birthday emmanuelle! :D repost, comment, like to celebrate her birthday or even just to say ur against the whole hbd thing!
within Zieglerville, pennsylvania

genuine snow white hair
upon her noggin doth adorn,
perhaps she will divulge to me (in private)
after i croon (to said lass),

the melody of Jimmy Crack Corn
hmm...or, maybe this mission
perchance twill be doomed from the start,
and hence finding me forlorn
thenceforth, a backup contingency measure,

would warrant me to don my thinking cap,
and for extra ordinary reinforcement unfold
each Taj Mahal shaped ear flap
plus (for reinforced ironic steeliness),

aye also resort to buttress
any aural "stormy Dani yelling)
via walled in interlap,
which accouterment functions
as a double agent i.e. (or,

to be rather crude),
an audiological jockstrap
to vet or figuratively kneecap
any unwanted infiltrating leaping lap
ping "FAKE" distracting news
inducing madcap

mass media circus
driving this generic teetotaler
to pour himself a nightcap
essentially providing wig gull room
with very little margin of ear err, or overlap
against bigwigs to trumpet pap

pill low ma rendered free and clear
asper insidious (mama mia) paparazzi
charting imp pea ching fear
bringing out bare arms

most likely something internuclear
simply to discover visa vis authenticity
if cute employee
(sporting hair

white as the ****** snow),
which doth simmer and glare
blindingly, thus necessitating sunglasses
(I choose the Ray-Ban brand)
as recommended by cited

all time favorite pharmacist
who unwittingly (or simply because
my myopic eyes didst stare)
fixedly - drawn to such a darling (doll ling)
explaining any reason to go THERE
to CVS - that tis where.
Poetry is the voice chattering in my head...
Never lets up... It is the voice for when I'm afraid...
Conjured up from deep looping thoughts...
Vented out through written words when the voice could not.
Necessity forged by the mind and heart.
Feelings and emotions that the core wouldn't carelessly discard.
Poetry is an outlet of sorts, tentatively I can afford.
In this realm, the pen be my sword.
Poetry is everything... Beauty spanning multiple universes...
All we do is try to have it harnessed and channelled into individual artful verses...


An outlet, escape, my hole in the wall,
where I can hide from the Hell in my heart.
You're learning to walk, I'm just trying to crawl
beneath the flak; as it once tore me apart.
I've got my demons, how about you?
Faceless legions strung through my soul;
with ink and paper, they often bleed through
From lines and verses, I regain some control.
So, if you're asking me what poetry means
I won't say much, but I'll show you my scars.
Words and rhymes slash stitches and seams,
but in my unraveling, I see shooting stars.


My escape from the world
A distraction from myself
Instead of a mark on my body
I place a mark upon paper
I watch the ink flow from the pen
Happy that it's black
And not red
It bleeds into the crinkled paper
Mapping out the story
The story of my life so far
I don't think
I just write
Emptying my mind
My messed up mind
But the mess will never truly be gone
Just temporary relief
This is my relief


Poetry doesn't mean something,
Poetry is telling somebody who knows the truth, a lie and making them believe you anyways.


The air I breathe, the life I lead, everything I believe, poetry
The truest, permanent written form, at its finest
Even if it doesn't rhyme, every word is still the dearest
It's my relief from anxiety, my calm when I'm panicking
It's a sight for sore eyes when I wake up with a hangover and a headache
The only way I can express myself, show my deepest heartache
The only happiness I have when I'm depressed, my only friend when I'm lonely
My poetry and yours, day in and day out, is like oxygen to me
I can't breathe without poetry


A poet sees rivers where veins
run, caged birds where hearts
beat against ribs, stellar explo-
sions in place of emotion.
To be a poet means to breathe
through your eyes, to find life
in the weeds suffocating your
lungs, to build an ocean
of metaphors and memories,
never knowing which is which.


Poetry is art in itself
It is our passion that is slowly dying out throughout humanity
Because humanity is slowly forgetting what makes us human
What we survive on and die for everyday
But not us poets...
Our poetry is the chain to what we are
What we fought for all these years
What we die for trying to protect
For poetry is our mortality
Poetry is our life.
This is our first attempt at a "family" collaboration. I'm the only one who knows who wrote each part, maybe you all can have fun guessing, i know they all will.  :)
ryn Oct 2014
Looks like you need a drink...
What'll it be, let me think...

One thing you should know, Little Miss,
I'm not a bartender... I'm just winging this...

Hmm...
Arc in a cocktail shaker
Filled halfway up
Throw Melz in the mix
Just a dollop

Let's see now...
Spoonful of rhymes
Make that a table
Few drops of Conor
If he's up and able

Almost ready...
A touch of Tea
Maybe a tad more
A dose of Frank
In a little pour

Just about done...
Cap it up
Shake that shaker
Pour it out
Top with Silver

Ahh...
In a cocktail glass
Now sprinkle with Dani
Let's not stinge
Sprinkle aplenty

There you go, Hon... Take a full swig
When you see the bottom, your pain wouldn't seem so big...
Saša D Lović Sep 2014
1

gledao je dugo svoju sen
zakrvavljenim očima
  grlo mu se grčilo

sekiru sa zida da ponese
u šumu
  šta bi drugo

inače često dovodi sebe
u takvu situaciju
  ne zbog nečeg patološkog

ne zbog neke skrivene želje
već zbog šume
  ona je i ovog puta kriva

usne su mu drhtale
šumom odzvanjao njegov dah
  drveće počelo da vrišti

suze cerove kvasile humus
no to ga ovog puta ne pokoleba
  ovog puta otići će mnogo dalje

na sekiru pade zrak
i ona umi njegovo telo
  svojim sjajem


2

mala fide
dim se vije mehovi nadimaju
  čekići biju

znojavi kovači brkove suku
piju vodu metal stenje
  pod serijom teških udaraca

crveni se još nerođena sekira
u agoniji nastajanja
  sijaju se oštri zub i uvo tupo

pa je utom zgrabiše klešta
sve zaneme
  sve sačeka prvi vrisak

susret sa vodom
mala fide
  šta avaj nastade


3

u početku beše raka
i on je plesao oko nje
  poslednji ples

uma atrofičnog
udovi mu leteli sekli etar
  bale kvasila mu lice

očiju zakrvavljenih
ni glasa da pusti
  zmije su stenjale upregnute

niz amove otrov se slivao
raka poče da biva jezero
  drveće spustilo grane

i sve više grdilo mu lice
o boli
  ples je bivao sve sporiji

ptice su sve tiše rikale
iz tame poče da se rađa tama
  grđa i crnja

muve su naokolo zujale
drveće počelo da vrišti
  suze cerove kvasile humus


4

i kako je plakala sekira
naišavši na kamen
  vatrene suze prštale naokolo

kamen se vrteo kamen je jeo
vatrene suze
  i zub oštriji postajaše

svetlost njena poče da izjeda tamu
grđu i crnju
  od one pređašnje

pade zrak na nagrđeno lice
i stade sa plesom
  zmijama skide jaram

umi udove svoje u jezeru
urlik zapara galamu oko njega
  i nastade tišina tišina tišina

kezio se njegov lik
sa mirne površine
  progledao je


5

u početku beše i šuma
prašuma beskrajna
  u umu njegovom atrofičnom

i u njoj on i ona u njemu
podjednako
  plakao on plakala i šuma

jeli jedno drugo
grlo mu se grčilo
  udovi sušili crni dani behu

anđeli su sletali
kljucali mu oči
  koje su bile voda

donosili vatru u prašumu
da sagori um njegov atrofični
  vatra se gasila

donosili i vodu vodu mutnu vodu bistru
belu crvenu zelenu bilo kakvu
  voda se gasila


6

išla je sekira iz ruke u ruku
brzo i sigurno
  kroz vatru kroz vodu

padale glave
padalo drveće
  zub oštriji uvo tuplje držalje crnje

od krvi od zemlje
sekira je kružila
  tog su dana žene crno mleko muzle

ah nesreće
ptice su sve divlje rikale
  muve su zujale

pauci se razmrežaše
između prstiju njegovih
  ključala je lava u grudima šume

kezio se njegov lik
sa mirne površine
  jezera


7

sa rukom stopila se sekira
skameni se dah pogled znoj
  kidao je dronjke od odeće

bale kvasila mu lice
konji su bili nemirni
  anđeoskim hučanjem šuma ga zvala

lišće je padalo sa drveća
magla proždirala etar
  ptice behu odletele

rožnjače mu se zabrazdiše
srce poče da kuca
  sekira urliče

anđeli behu odleteli
samo su muve zujale
  on penio

šuma hučala
jezero ključalo
  tišina


8

na kraju beše svetlost
prasvetlost beskrajna
  u umu njegovom atrofičnom

i u njoj on i ona u njemu
podjednako
  smejao se on smejala se i svetlost

jeli jedno drugo
grlo mu se širilo
  udovi listali crni dani behu prošli

demoni su izranjali
kljucali oči
  koje su bile vatra

donosili gmazove u svetlost
da opogane um atrofični
  gmazovi se sušili

donosili pegaze sa rogom
bele crvrne zelene bilo kakve
  krila im otpadala


9

stajali bi sekira i on stopljeni
u agoniji
  svetlost zaslepi oko njegovo

iz rožnjače kapala je lava
tuga poče da izjeda svetlost
  grđu i crnju od pređašnje

zub tuplji uvo oštrije držalje istrošeno
pade tren na nagrđeno lice
  i poče sa plesom

zmijama jaram na vrat
kezilo se njegovo lice sa dna rake
  progledao je


10

granulo je sunce i nesta svetlosti
zmije su strašno siktale
  upregnute

gledale kako se otrov iz jezera
pretvara u oblak
  oblak zakri sunce

i njegov um atrofični
udovi mu leteli
  pogađali ptice

muve su zujale
očiju zakrvavljenih
  pusti glas planine su se tresle

vetar poče da duva
umrsi mu kosu koža mu se ospe
  iz tabana poče korenje da niče


11

sva se magla upi u njega
on spusti sekiru u raku
  u raku doteče lava

i ne bi više zuba oštrog uva tupog
šume prašume svetlosti prasvetlosti
  jednostavno ne bi

na kraju beše
on
  u agoniji

postojao je
laura Dec 2018
in love with danileigh’s music
above the dull day’s hips
roils the late afternoon
evanescent drama
then sinks into night
listening to her music
and wondering
where my life went wrong
Vallery Oct 2023
Glittery sunlight seeps through the gaps in the leaves, shadows dance on the soft grass around me. I lie on the warm earth, breathing in the fresh air. I run my hands through the flowers sprouting besides me, noticing the pale yellow and pastel pink hues, the butterflies flittering among the flora. As i sit up i see that I'm in some sort of forest clearing, a small grassy area encased in a wall of thick trees...


"It's beautiful isn't it?" he said. Who he is, I haven't a clue...
I stand myself up and confusion washes over me. I don't see anyone else present, I'm alone, so where'd the voice come from?
"From me, I'm behind you."
I turn around to face the man with the disembodied voice, a strikingly handsome man dressed in a silk white button down shirt, shiny white dress pants, and white shoes. his features are utterly appealing and instantesouly comforting. Can he read my thoughts?
And with that he lets out a chuckle, "Yes, I can. Please, come with me"
I hesitate for a moment. I'm not sure I can entirely trust him yet but still I follow him anyways. We walk across the clearing, in to the wall of trees. A short distance through the forest brings us to a beautiful river with crystal clear water and lily pads floating about. "Have a seat dear," the Mystery Man said, his arms outstretched towrds a wooden bench shaded beneath some trees. As we sit he begins to speak.
"I know you're unsure of your new environment, but trust me when I say you're in good hands. My friends call me Luci, I sort of run this place,"
he gestures broadly at our surroundings.
"Now, you're here because you asked for help, is that correct?"
Suddenly all my memories come flooding back...
"I-Yes, thats-I asked for help," I stuttered.
Luci stares into the distance, possibly carefully searching for his next reply.
"Dani, I am willing to help you. Here, take this. I've made this just for you. A special concoction of joy, sobriety, peace, and release."
He hands me a small vial containing a clear liquid. I uncap it and a sweet floral aroma fills the air.
"All you have to do is drink it. You know, Death is a beautiful thing, most people are afraid or angry when Death comes around... You are different, Dani, because you welcome Death with open arms. You called my name and I delivered, you can trust me, you can always trust an angel, even the Angel of Death."
He grabs my arm and forces me to drink the liquid.
The sweet smelling potion leaves a horridly bitter taste behind, causing me to gag and retch.
Death sits quietly at my side, watching me fall to the ground and writhe in pain, all with an ugly grin on his face.
The pain is unbearable; I feel as though my skin has been covered in acid, my head feels like it may combust at any second...
Death begins to laugh.
Hes getting off on this, I know it. *******.
"Now, now, Dani, don't blame me. You're the one who wanted this, you're the one who tied the noose, not me. I saved you, now you owe me."
With those last words I give in, I had asked for this, I desperately wanted this, I needed this.
With the acceptance comes the release, the final breath, the final end.

I have been saved by an angel named Death.

Im finally free.
Creep Nov 2014
have you noticed me yet?
XD
anyways here's a challenge for you guys cause i cant seem to write this week:
write a poem about your very own senpai (real or fake) and how you try to get hm/her to notice you and tag it as #noticemesenpai
:D ive written so much about my own lol i dont need to write anymore....
(inspired by dani chase's poem, Senpai >//////<)
and if you don't know what a senpai is:
"It originates from anime and manga. It's someone older than you. Someone you look up to. If they give the slightest attention to you, you sort of explode. They are just really admired by you and if you are a senpai, bask in it!"
-http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Senpai
cause urban dictionary is legit cx^
L Dec 2014
Pulled around,
pulled apart.

Bend your knees,
form a knot.

I'm gonna
sleep
in your wreckage
tonight.

Gonna twist
your elbows
and dye your pleasures and fears
the same
color.

I'm gonna
tie your hair
to the bed post,
gonna **** out your soul
through your mouth.

So part your lips a little more.
Part your legs a little more.

Pulled around,
pulled apart.

Bend your knees,
form a knot.

I'm gonna
rip out the pretty
and replace it with your sounds.

Gonna
tear away the fabric
surrounding your heart;
make you want to stay
when I let you go.

I'm going to strip you
of your curiosity.
I'm going to
make you unlearn language.

I'm going to hurt you.
I'm going to make you want to bleed.
I'm going to spit my name into your mouth.

I'm going to love you raw.

Pulled around,
pulled apart.
Bend your knees,
form a knot.
Keep it tight,
don't let go.
I'm almost done,

10 more to go.
Arcassin B Oct 2014
By Arcassin Burnham



One Word ......... Family :)
Still don't know the name of the group is lol
Del Maximo Sep 2011
she smiles for me
she was born beautiful
with golden hair and green irises
but when did she get so pretty?
a pleasant upside down triangle smile
a collaboration of lips, teeth, cheeks and eyes
shining in affection for me
for happy childhood memories
singing Disney songs
painting unicorns and waterfalls
stringing beaded bracelets
and learning how to draw good
because she "keeps on trying"
at times she was the devil's child
incorrigible
other times she was the sweetest
little chatterbox
at the corner drugstore
I couldn't get her to stop talking
"Why are we following that man?"
she said within his earshot
"Because he knows the way out", I replied
at four years old
she could beat me at video games
truly a kid from outer space
now a young woman
at life's threshold
with doubts and questions
and confidence
and more strength than she knows she has
working and going to school
I have no fears for her future
I know she'll keep on trying
till she gets what she wants
that was my advice
spoken so many years ago
to my little niece
my Godchild
Dani
© September 20, 2011
L Dec 2014
" I will drink all your secrets
  and you will be
    a part of me. "
Christina Hale Mar 2018
Torn
Oh, torn
Me, I, who would of thought
Thought I’d be torn between two chicks
The one Dani I did love and the other Lynn I’m so passionate about
Dani cares so much about me and is having a hard time just being friends
And Lynn, well she was there for me in a time of need but now I’m not of that need she doesn’t want nothing to do with me
I say torn
Because they both torn me apart
Dani can’t get over what we had and the more she dwells on it, it just tears me up inside seeing how she hurts
Lynn, well I tell her how I feel and try to keep in contact with her but it seems like nothing works for me to get close to her and that just tears me up inside
But if I could see her face to face again
I would be the happiest chick alive

This is what would happen…
And I look in her eyes and sing to her what she would want to say to me
“Don’t try to make you win me
Because I know you hate your life
And you and your stupid lies”

This is what I don’t get about these chicks
Because right after I tell her that I need her and that she inspires me
She pushes me off to some other chick
I’m sorry but I’m not a mushy mushy type of person
So for me to open up to you, spill my guts out, tell you how I feel
It’s something that will take you by surprise
Something rare and unappreciated

Oh man it’s just so hard to be friends after a relationship gone bad
Why can’t we just be friends without all the bickering and arguing
Without the hatred and jealousy
And the competition
Oh the competition
To see who can ******* who first
Or who will hook up with someone first
All you gotta do is mention some other chick
And the other is bound to get jealous and mad then start to act outrageous
It’s hilarious
It’s like a friendship on the rocks
But hey I didn’t order that

And I need a prescription of some kind because these chicks are driving me crazy
How can a chick look you in your eyes like that and tell you opposite of what she is feeling
And how I can look a chick in her eyes and not say anything
And she can fall in love with me
I don’t get it
Where do I fit in
I guess between these chicks
Because I’m either feeling and telling her how I’m feeling and she’s not feeling me
Or she’s feeling me but I’m not feeling her in that way

And I think to myself…
Shy and refrained
Why can’t I be tamed
Quiet and reserved
I get what I deserve
Angry and defensive
Why
Because no one listens
Empty and feeling alone
Just wanna sleep and stay at home
Anxious and jittery
Causing a bitter me
Jealous and demanding
The weak girls I always wound up commanding

And this is what she says to me…
“I don’t understand why you gotta be so mean
I’m just trying to be your friend
Isn’t that what friends do
Be there for you
But how can I when you won’t let me in
I just don’t understand
Baby, I mean buddy, no I mean friend
You
You just gotta let me in
I am someone you could depend on, you just gotta let me in
Because whether you wanna be with me or not I’m here until the end”

Well I wish it was that easy to be her friend and let her in
But there are feelings I’m trying to protect of hers
And she just doesn’t understand
I just can’t be her friend, I just can’t let her in
And she doesn’t understand that it’s not that simple to just be happy…

They say it gets better but it seems like it would never
I’m just so tired of
Tired of feeling this way
And you
You shouldn’t be so self-absorbent
Everything is not always because of you
  
In reality
I care about the one I’ve been with and the other for which I’m deeply passionate about
But it’s no doubt
It’s just that I need to move on
And no longer for these chicks will I be torn
Annick Gray May 2016
I don’t know if I want T in my veins,
can it break these ******* chains?
Will it make these bleeding scars heal?
Will it make me feel?

Feel okay, feel better,
feel like I swear I’m not under the
weather.
Feel like maybe this is the way I’m
meant to live.

But maybe this just isn’t for me.
Maybe this life is a bundle of lies,
a bundle of feelings on *******
and electrocuting itself
like a pile of live wires in the rain.

Maybe by following my heart,
I’m actually doing the wrong thing
but the wrong thing isn’t the wrong thing
like the right thing isn’t the right.

The right and wrong do not exist
and my therapist
is running out of ways to tell me that
it’s okay
that it’s okay to feel this way.

That it’s okay to inject a synthetic hormone
into my bloodstream,
my muscle mass,
to make my mental self image
match my outward projection of self.

And in a harmless act,
one of my best friends tells me:
you know, Dani it’s funny.
I wear push up bras,
and you wear
binders.

But at the end of the day,
this body is still my ******* cage.
Dani my dear, I made a mistake not expressing how I felt about you.
I miss those days when we danced in the cool summer evenings, buzzed from the wine, listening to the beat you made with your small Colombian feet stomping the hardwood.

I miss the quiet drives when we first met. I took you around the lake  during the Fall when the red leaves swirled in our wake.
Your long straight hair, jet-black, flowed downward resting on your chest; you were beautiful. You were beautiful against an orange blazing sunset with that long black hair and your tanned skin accenting that blue lake.

I miss the way you looked at me. Your deep brown eyes had something I couldn't touch or explain. I miss the way you'd smile when I'd become speechless looking into those eyes. I miss the way we hugged each other, as if each time was the first and last, how we used to stand holding each other.

I knew you wanted me to overcome my inner demons and kiss you and hold you and make love to you and caress you. Oh how badly I wanted to, every inch of me wished for me to give in to you. I wanted to love you. I wanted to love you.

I miss how you knew I couldn't bring myself to love you. I miss how you knew I had demons that tortured me, keeping me from loving you. My passion battling my reasoning.

I'm so sorry Dani... I think about you everyday and I failed to create something special between us. Something more special than the special relationship I had the honor having with you.

I miss you DanieLa
Sam Conrad Dec 2013
258 days
Are the number of days we were together, sweet girl

January ...
High School Basketball Game
50 texts
50 smiles
So cute
You didn't even mean it
Spleen smiles
Next week
You want me to come over
To help decorate for your birthday party tomorrow
Instead, making out on the porch
"I'm so bad"
... ... ...
Tomorrow
I'm sorry, I don't have any gift except for myself
Pop the question
Will you be mine?
There marked day 1
More spleen smiles
... ... ... still get this flashback so clear in my mind, in Ray's chair, Dani was up on the left arm, you and I cuddling in the seat, she looks over and tells us how cute we look

... ... ...
Every other day in that month consisting basically of
Heidi said this
Heidi said that
Help me help me
She's on facebook going nuts about me
I even called her four times for hours trying to calm her down
You told me it wasn't my fault
Our senses of humour blended really well
Spleen smiles all the way
You were my anchor
I fell in love
Crushing Love Jan 2015
The Creep that loved you
Dani Chase
Jinxxed For Life
βέƦẙḽ Dṏṽ
Ena Alysopriono
Unknown guy
Rex Forté
Jimmydon
Janine
LeeAnn Rose
Musfiq us shaleheen
Elle Tat
maha salman
Concrete Angel
Carolin
wolf spirit aka quinfinn
Death is living
Ally
the helper
  patty m
Yung Wifey
Gabrielle ***  
Heart Broken
Kayla-Lyn Searle
Dark Rose
Jason Cirkovic
Midnight Writer
LittleFreeBird
Richard Barnes
Trisha Anne Chi-Young
Thinking Out Loud
AD Mullin
Devon Webb
Hannah Jade
Deborah Brooks Langford
Winter Frost
Jeremy Boyd
Starry Night
caitlyn walters
elsa angelica
Sarah M Gillihan
Sweetheart
Andre nalin
DC raw love
Charbear909
Thomas A Robinson
chainedwhore

PerfectTruths  
Worldeater
John-Chris Ward
Ember Evanescent
Kitty Lam
LJ Chaplin
Just Melz
Jae
Just Jean
The Girl Who Loved You
Vanessa Gatley
StayStrongILveU
tamyon lawrence
All my 62 followers, you guys rock!
Megan Sherman Mar 2017
She is bewitching, like elusive magic
That ensnares the senses with its potent power
She is the dance of cosmic joy
Blossoming like exquisite flower
Her aura ripples with colour like stars
That fire ablaze with cosmic spark
She begets tender sonorous bars
Rejoicing pure, the babes of the world hark
With the stainless spirit of the child
She goes touching spirits one by one
Begetting her hearts true bliss, wild
A purest sort of fun
O wild flower, falling through my mind
You are a petal sweet and kind
Danielle Brown May 2010
i look at things from the wrong perspective
like ****, look at all the time i’ve wasted
i always forget how young i really am
so i study my past like it's an exam...
but **** it. let’s just erase it.
i'm forcing myself to stare straight forward,
look to the future and embrace it.

i’m always stressin' about who i wanna be
i know i have potential
there’s a lot more to see from me
like yeah, knowing is half the battle
but doing is more than i can fathom

i’ve got friends and family saying
“do you, dani, go get ‘em…”
which is why I started school at LSU
only to find a group of fake friends
and career paths with a dead ends
and I sit here and wonder
when will I become exactly what God intends?

all my life, I’ve been waiting on the day
where I have the confidence to say
exactly what’s on my mind - heart and soul combined
and do my part for mankind
but for now, i will be patient
look to the future and embrace it.
dani
15 july 2009
to Dani*

remember when, you do not:
you are a ground slicing the center of
    this home.

the long divide the furniture endures.
in front of the colossal tv
bodies spilled like water.
20 minutes was all it took – your name alone,
a potent hygroscopy.

when close enough:
dissipate. You took all the green the foliage could,
    soldered to your body a forest it manifests.

   repeated, if not a newer foundling:

    the   space   you  take  for  acquisition ,
    the faultless tenancy   you   mistake   as  counsel.

every saved for, and gleaming space
   aspires for venue – translates to an arena for snapshot.

[some mundane depiction ascribes for you to be known]
years later my portrait still hangs perpetually
on a modern furniture from a contemporary skillset.
  take this declaration.

years later, leapt to this day and forward:
the surgery of galvanized steel is reminiscent of a departure.
the tedious laborer smiling through bonsai pots
  carrying out lobotomies. The afternoon more sterile than
   your    face  as if operation.  This town knows you by practice
  
  and habit: all of it sepia, if not leaden.
Fish The Pig Feb 2016
There is little here
in this sun-scaped city
to press a frown onto my face.
I feel free
I've lost ten pounds
my skin is smooth
I bought new fashionable clothes
and I laugh more than ever before,
and that is what people see,
will amber annex buster dani skyla rashid duane kiki chase adrianna
all these new people
who laugh at my funny name
only see this happy smiling girl
who is kind and quick to help
and make jokes
and dance
and offer advice
and yet despite the freedom I feel
it comes with equal parts guilt.
have I ever smiled so much before?
The me people meet now is so new to me
it feels like a lie
it's nice of you to ask me on a date
but how could I tell you the horrors of my past?
with all this smiling
you'd never believe the years of frowns and tears
no one would think to look for the lines where you can see my burn scars
they wouldn't look at my differently
when I trace old bruises
they don't think
to be careful when touching me
they don't have a clue
and it's all I've ever wanted
to have people think nothing is wrong
for me to be like the other girls,
but now that that's what people see,
my smiles though real
make me feel like I'm lying to everyone around me.
I'm not fixed inside yet,
but all this smiling and laughing at mistakes
and not getting screamed at everyday
or being told how repulsive I am
is helping...
just not with the guilt.
Creep Jan 2015
Dani Chase.
The Emerald Outcast.
Unwritten.
Kaisinsky.
Little Polish Boy.
Yuumei.
Leelah.
Abstract Colleague.
Lotus Blue.
god, i would do one for everyone on here if i could...
All of thewe r my awesome, crazy and hella amazing friends irl ^^ check out theirpage :) u won't regret it!
L Jun 2021
JG (2)

There's so much more to say about the things you did to me.
I know it's not black and white.
I know you were hurt by me,
but never in the way you hurt me.
I gave you a scratch while in an autistic meltdown living with you caused, and you told me I wasn't a person. That's an important distinction.

I just woke up from a nightmare. It was so vivid.
I often have very vivid dreams, and I've had terrible nightmares before. Of course I have. You get nightmares when you live in unlivable conditions. But that's over now. I haven't had a nightmare for over a year.

You know what? My last nightmare- the last one I really remember- was about someone else.

She's beautiful. Just absolutely gorgeous- she loves to hear it, too. She's kind- because after having experienced her own darkness, she knows to be. But she's also afraid. I don't think she knows I can see it.
She hides away when she's unsure about things, but only because she wants to get it right- I think she's a perfectionist that way- and she's very secretive. Especially when it comes to her fears.
She's made mistakes, and when she does she tends to run away from them, but in the end, she wants to be better. Ultimately, she wants to grow. I believe that.

That's why I'll forgive her when she comes.

I feel a softness for her that I also feel for you. Each person is infinitely precious; what we go through matters and our experiences make us rich, like wines that become more valuable with time-- except.. putting it that way isn't quite right.
I think that existence equals value. I'd love the grape as much as I'd love the wine. I believe the value you hold now was there when you were born. I think people just become brighter with time, no matter what we experience. But we have always been precious, and worth being protected.

You're so precious. There's only one of you.
I feel love for you, of course I do. I'm probably wrong about a few things, not getting the full story of it. I certainly don't totally know how you felt during all that. Since you've just..never told me.

But I don't care.
I don't mean that in a cruel, defensive way. I just don't want to engage with it. I'm not interested.
I'm not necessarily even upset about any of this.

I don't feel resentment. I don't feel like it's even me you betrayed.
I've processed so much of my trauma; the me who suffered and the present me feel like different people now. And I'm angry you hurt someone.
You put them through something they didn't have to experience. You made their dissociation permanent by forcing them into this environment when they had already told you they weren't ready.

They'd lie awake at night having these episodes of despair, and you were annoyed.
"I just want to sleep" you said, with a person crying, spiraling in despair, unable to cope with any of it, next to you in bed.
That's a whole person, as infinitely precious as you and everyone else on the planet and you treated them- you guessed it- not like a person, but like a problem. An annoyance.

I'm not going to forgive you for that.

Not only that, but you come offering nostalgia of all things, to pull me back into you. Nostalgia. What's that got to do with the **** you put me through?

There's so much more. The time you hid the matches just to try to make things a little harder for me and Dani. The jealousy. But then you'd ****** some girl days after we'd separated. Touching me, thinking you were seducing me somehow, when I came into your place for less than a minute- while Dani and my mother were outside waiting. Do you know how ****** up and uncomfortable that was?
The disrespect. I should've decked you. I should have dislocated your jaw. Should have opened the scar above your lip.

It's not about whether you intended to or not.
"I didn't know any better" is a truth that very rarely changes anything.
You didn't know any better and it hurt me. That's why we learn. That's why we grow. That's why we must refuse to stay still.
But you loved being still. And you refused to grow, and you proudly kept yourself ignorant.

What else can I even say.

Oh, my nightmare.

I dreamt a friend of yours had me institutionalized, and because you were angry at me for something small that I did, you let it happen.
Which is just exactly what you would've done in real life.

It was terrifying. I woke up so scared. I thought it was real.

I'm tired and hungry.
I'm gonna go pet my cats.

— The End —