"controled" poems
Eye lashes brase my brow with a flash of awareness.
Of gravity, of heart rate, with fading memories of mental images and sinking in reality.
Argument insues among the self
"why do I have to get up?"
"I don't know the god **** answer, just get up."
It goes on repeat.
Get up, get up, get up.
Frozen in the warm sheets and safe feeling that just barely lets the pressure fade.
"Why can't I stay in the twilight of REM and awake where my body is light doesn't hurt and my mind has solace?"
"I don't know, just get up."
Get up, get up, get up.
This feeling has lost me GPA points
and this feeling has cost me jobs.
Place my hands on my chest and streach out my legs.
Rip away from the fetal position and complement myself relentlessly.
Get up, get up, get up.
"You're okay" I wisper as though the echo will ensure it's truth.
Deep breathing to irratic breathing to controled breathing.
Rise, wash, repeat.
Get up, get up, GET UP.
Rip the sheets off like a bandaid and immediately stand.
Run to the warm shower.
Pretend it's rain and back to deep breathing.
Complement what a great job I'm doing, getting out of bed, not even crying.
How proud I should be I'm taking care of myself - by taking a shower.
A basic Target pattern, fortress of solitude.
Consumed in the hot artificial rain drops I find another fleeting moment of solace.
Deep breathing, "you're okay."
Let the water run over my shoulders until it turns cold.
Dry off in the shower, take advantage of the ignored greenhouse gas - bask in the humidity.
Look into my dark eyes in the mirror, and ask questions. And hope they are good that day.
Jan 24, 2019
Jan 24, 2019 at 11:30 PM UTC
Death's hand, wrong paths in my eyes, creates lies
Mind's blind illusion of awake dreams forgotten being written ancestors message letters when together most rhyme speech encoded image visions portrays
immortalized, Truth, why it represents kind souls alone
sing words that shape diamonds, gold
bodies cold buried though ignored still speak
Brings better days night
Suns light skies shed tears, never known real fear
whenever one says end here,
is near,
Why I fight, kid's cries, explain,
Moments without pain are holy any ways remembered only who's thoughts pray
show its presence, proof stands clear
Soldier vision wise protects youth
Mine lacks peace breathing slow maybe smoke
Daily around me controled fades raising dead
Rhythms bring natural flowing mystic air sacred heart's escense blessing all heavens described mother's crimes giving life artisticly seems hate's
left, spiritually these rhymes paint reality like
Rivers flow
Stars and moon carve stones
Shape oceans emotions form storms, destroy
Imaginations,
Falling nation witness, our creations
Walk hell populations lost brought well tought
People when modern slave's the cost
Last option weak hold mother lands for
building war watching flowers grow
Children laughing those missing homes fighting poverty replaces birds flying revolutionaries
bleeding sadness fisically, eternal family
single race worldwide
Stays immortal.....
Sep 9, 2013
Sep 9, 2013 at 1:22 AM UTC
the sky was blue the clouds were grey
the sun shone now and then
she came to me from far away
her name was Adolen
Adolen oh Adolen you tore my world
in two
never seen a woman since with
heart as sad as you
we travelled on to here and there
and walked a grassy field
we wondered and we wandered near
an edge that did not yield
the echoes of the fallen down
controled our glassy stare
you lept into the near beyond
i did not follow there
Adolen oh Adolen you tore my world
in two
never loved a girl so much that
was as sad as you
Oct 18, 2023
Oct 18, 2023 at 10:17 PM UTC
The world above her shined,
And wonder filled her eyes.
Nothing could mess with her mind.
The clouds were reassigned,
New creations rised,
The brighter the world shined.
She laid there as the clouds combined.
She stayed calm and the moon cried,
Nothing can mess with a simple mind.
Just the peace of mind,
That flies.
The brighter the world shined.
The sun fell from the behind
The wonder appeared in her eyes.
Nothing can mess with her mind.
The night soon ended,
Closing the girl's clock that controled her eyes,
The world above her shined,
Not even sleep can mess with her mind.
~Kaylie
May 3, 2014
May 3, 2014 at 9:01 PM UTC
This is how it always begins,
It sneaks up like house flys in the fall.
Waking up in the morning feeling worse then the night before,
Garbage can full of ***** still beside the bed on the floor.
Runny nose, sneezing, body drenched in sweat and freezing cold,
In the past 12 months ive started to look old.
This is what i can't stand,
A self inflicted flu that makes me feel like a slave.
Its not that i wasnt warned,
Not as if i didnt understand,
I saw first hand the grip it takes, foolish me was just to naive to listen,
Im diffrent, i have self contorl,
Tables turned im now controled,
Dancing with deamons is always risky,
When you let your guard down the devil creeps in quickly.
My body no longer belongs to me,
It becomes that of the walking dead.
Back, legs, arms, shoulders all ache.
I feel like ive run a marathon though i barley have energy to move.
My mind wanders to places full of fear,
Arms give away my secrets, showing the scars of my vice.
Everything is freezing and the blankets no longer supply the comfort i need.
A spoon, a lighter, cotton and water,
relif so close my body starts to shudder.
Im handed the belt, ive long since lernt what to do,
Gotta get the veins up, missing is the last thing someone like me wants a thing like that to happen to.
Muscles all tense from sickness and desperate antipication,
deep breath, needle in, a patient to my own form of cancer awaiting my medication.
Like a child on christmas eve full of excitement for whats to come,
from my veins to the syringe a stream of blood does run.
One final push, now release the belt,
Im finally holding hands with euphoria,
While falling a little farther into hell.
Jul 8, 2013
Jul 8, 2013 at 3:34 PM UTC
A chase after the wind
Looking bigger than the eyes can see
An uncontented feeling of always wanting
Torching further than his hand could reach
A malicious desire to be above all
Crept into his heart
Unsatisfied with silver
He throw it off
And he rushed out for gold
Which turned to be attainabe
Restless nights and tormented soul but
Kept on looking for more
But forgot he already had it all
Maliciously controled
He felt in a deeper pit
Which he couldn't save himself
The maliciouse feeling drift away with the wind
Left alone with a tormented soul
With a single desire left within him
To give up the ghost
As he hopelessly raised his eyes *****
A spark sprung in his eyes as he saw
A crowd of friends rush up to him
To rebeat his fading heart.
May 9, 2017
May 9, 2017 at 8:55 AM UTC
The Super Computer
01000001011011010110010101110010011010010110001101100001
Has been infected
Controled
Hi jacked from the out
No hacked from the inside
You no longer have the control you wish
Over
01000001011011010110010101110010011010010110001101100001
Stop looking over seas for the problem
cuz this is happening enternaly
we need an anti virus program
called Truth
and feed it to our youth
because nothing can function on lies
Or eles the Super computer dies
So lets Debug this thang
lets get it functioning
properly
not normally
So lets calm down the hysteria
and Debug 01000001011011010110010101110010011010010110001101100001
May 22, 2012
May 22, 2012 at 9:01 AM UTC
You've heard the saying that there are two sides to every story
well mine has not been told
why dose there have to be two sides to only stories
why not souls
On the outside I look like stone on the inside I feel like a puppet being controled
by the two halves of my soul
What are they you might ask
well one looks happy
but the other transforms it into woe
You see this half harbours it's dispair and transforms everything into terrible emotions
knowing that if I let go of my anger then you think all is forgiven
Well I say hell no
I will never let go
Like I said there are two sides to every story and soul
it brings me happiness that mine was finally exposed
Feb 17, 2014
Feb 17, 2014 at 11:16 PM UTC
From a crippled thought,
that resides in our mind...
Stone encriptions,
from far away times.....
The sinking sun,
the rising moon...
The pressures on earth,
of love and gloom....
A world with no war....
Would mean a world with no religion...
So, if there is a god,
then peace should be easy...
From the minerals they seek....
To the poison they spread.....
It's blood for gold,
that's harvested on earth...
For control of the almighty dollar,
they seek to keep one in grief....
There is a world order,
that dates back in time....
If you would learn the blood line,
you would be surprised.....
The banks will be controled,
possibly by one....
Now marshall law,
can play it's part....
It may come into play,
and one day be law..
Sep 1, 2016
Sep 1, 2016 at 8:52 PM UTC
Take me back to the times where "people were smarter than machines..."
They were not "swayed or controled by them..."
as we then "failed" to see as to why "being controled by them"
was just as "crazy as to question as to" "why the notions" as to" "why humans are unable to fly?"
Invention brought us the "wheel", the "telephone," then to the
first "Moonwalk" and "first man On the Moon...."
where he still had not used the future to blind his "out of touch"
"seeing eye?"
Into the future where inventions "killed" rather then they "Saved the world?"
Until World War iii Has beem left a "trial ajurned"
we shall be the "Public just sitting on our hands waiting to be burned..."
By a government who does not "see eye to eye?"
As the "blind stay such" and still ask questions "As to why"
things are remaining "The same?"
well at this
"quiet time of blundering,"
who "raises their voices to challenge" society's "wondering"
a whole "desperate" and "uneeded Mile..."
as to the "future" that this "One Eye'd Moon Man yet sees"
for us "in still motion"
He beams down warnings in the burnt in Values in "History's Blind Accidents"
Nobody noticed that "Lady Liberty's Back was Bent"
from being "broken" like "the invented misguided "arrows of some wars"
we fail to "stand up and defend" as to why we need "Better mending of our broken paths and future pavements" on "Congress Floors..."
Instead we overtrust those in leadership who "Tend to need to love life through closed view's doors."
Oct 23, 2017
Oct 23, 2017 at 10:09 PM UTC
I looked at the reflection in her eye's then leaped deeply into her thoughts. I began to drown gasping for air trying to catch my breath. She overwhelmingly suffocates me,with her deepest fears of her insecurities. In which I suffer to pay for some else's actions. Without given a fair chance to win her love. Lost and confused trap in a selfish maze of emotions. That has nothing to do with me.
Not to mention the outside contractors that began demolition of the foundation you trying to build. ***** recklessly grasp and pull you back down. Every time
You try to escape the chaos of the miserable company within the barrel.
Jan 10, 2016
Jan 10, 2016 at 10:22 PM UTC
Listen well to your clock
Ticking your life away
And search for some luck
Come what may
How art thou so perfect?
In a world of destruction, of chaos
Your fate, you should have met
And brought back our loss.
Our land is yours to take
You've controled over
For your mortality is at our sake
And all the secrets you'd like to discover
Won't ever bring back your life.
From the grounds of hell,
I will tease you with a bit of fright
And prayed for my bell.
Aug 21, 2014
Aug 21, 2014 at 6:18 PM UTC
She was thigh high silk lined poetry wearing **** me stiletto heels with words that slowly drizzled from burning wickedness made of lust and wax and her fingernails carved whispers of desire along his spine and split open the seams of his simple wants and filled him with desperate needs and he was completely consumed with a hunger to peel off the poetry she wore over her skin with her lace and lingerie and she poisoned his reason with her venomous lips and she molded and carved his flesh into hard wood and turned him into her marionette and tied him with leather whips and controled his every move and made his fingers and tounge explore the space between the words along her thighs and he wrote his name along her silken verse of vice and she pulled his strings hard and made him need her just a little more and somewhere in the blur of blood and sweat he became forever hers
Mar 12, 2017
Mar 12, 2017 at 10:45 AM UTC
She was a fairy tale told by a poem that was sung to the moon by the star that wrote the secrets of lust with the flames of the sun on the skin of the heart of the story of love...
and she lived in the wonder of the gaze of the children of dreams and controled the pulse of eternity and the flow of magic trapped within the illusion of time and she flirted with death for a kiss and then stole its robes and the beauty of dying was then her gift to give and her burden to bare and she was gentle with grace and generous with kindness and she will be the first and last sound that you hear as she whispers the meaning of life in your ear...
and it will take only the moment that is as long as it is short...
and you will know you were part of the fairy tale told by a poem that was sung to the moon by the star that wrote the secrets of lust with the flames of the sun on the skin of the heart of the story of love
Jun 25, 2017
Jun 25, 2017 at 12:23 PM UTC
I shut them up. The feelings.
I tell them to keep quiet so I can pretend they're not here.
And they do, they are silent.
But it should make me feel good and it doesn't.
I just feel nothing until I feel everything together.
There are days and weeks and months of nothing.
Of ignoring the pain in my heart hoping it'll go away
if I pretend it's not there; of holding back tears when
they threaten to fall, until my head hurts with the
effort; of telling myself it's all alright and I'm actualy
okay; of being numb and empty. As I supress the bad
feelings, I also supress the good ones. I feel absolutely
nothing.
And then, out of a sudden, resulting usually of too much
time alone and overthinking, the feelings can't be controled
any longer. And I cry, and it hurts like hell. The feelings scream
and kick and fight because they don't wan to be silenced again.
And there's this voice inside my head mocking me and telling
me they'll always be there even if I pretend they're not.
I know, it doesn't matter what I do, they'll win anyway.
But I shut them up again.
I may not win, but I keep fighting.
I have to.
One day, I hope, they'll be gone for good.
And then I'll enjoy the silence.
Apr 24, 2017
Apr 24, 2017 at 2:28 AM UTC
Such a voice invoked the muse
And the muse was what gave life
I miss that deep sense of a lost belonging
Now I am in belonging to that realm I once ruled
With an iron fist, I controled it
In the deepest depths of my innermost being
My insides are constantly convulsing
They are humming to me my chagrin
And the voids that occupy the nuclei of my atoms
I tremble like a bell, being a hollow shell
And sounding other cries for help in this place.
Where are we in the place of the bells
How hollow are the voids that make up our cells.
Feb 1, 2018
Feb 1, 2018 at 9:34 AM UTC
What is it about the human race hearts to soul
They waste all of life always wanting to know
Where we came from where we'er going to
As much sense as why does the north wind blow
Who needs rasism religion politics ****** difference
Simplicity is one of my favorite words that be
Simply all getting along and loving one another
You are you they are they I will always be just me
Living each day at a time beats building ant nests high
Being the gift to life wealthiest yet one day we all die
Fashion trends who's the best game people always play
Yet I've heard farmers say sheep are stupid has me sigh
The coriculum of lifes school is oppersates as to learn
If none we learn nothing go to woe its ever so true
Tell me something thats not got one at all
Fasinates me the human race fasinating things they do
Different as yes or no right or wrong happy or sad
Be controled or in life make a personal choice
Fasinates me their childlike games more so than children
Blame others for your life or be yourself and rejoice
I feel children on planets away play with toys beyond us
Human ego wanting needing their have to do their I Q
Comedians will never be broken re a human word spoken
From liked underwear to the size of a human shoe
The I'm king of the castle you ***** raskle presidents
All seeing themselves as best in a leading role for time
Fasinates me human stupidity for the life of me I smile
Human ego self appointed tasting like lemons ever divine
terrence michael sutton
copyright 2018
May 11, 2018
May 11, 2018 at 7:06 PM UTC