God has granted me with free will, so would it be blasphemy if sometimes I can't use it?

Because, yes, sometimes I can't.

Panic wants to ride. Then we ride.

We ride fast, side to side, no speed limit.

It already took the wheel,im blind and deaf even if I can still hear how strong it is.

How strong it attacks me by sending those things I've buried, those demons I've builded plus things that won't ever happen.

How am I supposed to stop or take the control when my heart became a heavy piece of iron, as fire is racing in every vein.

This ride finally stops when I can see the first ray of sun, then I can breath fresh air, slowly it stops...

Finally I can see the yellow house with the wooden door... This house saw me grow up, I'm here in Happy Place.

Am I someone who's walking on a wire?

Sometimes I can lose my balance in a blow, or I can feel like something is catching me.

Am I controled by someone who is playing God, somewhere, somehow?

Sometimes, I can take control back in a breath or I can explode in a blink of an eye.

I'm not all black or all white.

I'm everything between.

Miss you.

Beyond space and time.

Until we met again, I'm looking for each star in the sky as they twinkle...

I'm sure it's your smile echoing.

The wind is blowing for everyone but me, to me, it's you, blowing me a kiss good night.

I didn't know where I was at first.

It looked like life,sounded like life, tasted like life but I wasn't alive.

I slowly went down.

I've just felt the light fading, the blue of the sky became grey and I went darker and darker, deeper and deeper... I've lost my soul.

As I walked, I didn't know if I'll ever come back to life but I've learned what Hell is: A person.

Hell tried to crash my faith as down as it crashed my soul, as faith is always stronger, it won.

Faith convinced me that even if I started the journey like Orpheus, I have to end it like Hercules.

Heaven is a ray of sun through a cloudy sky.

Heaven is the first drop of water when you're thirsty.

Heaven is long afternoons playing soccer.

Heaven is moments with family and friends laughing our hearts out.

Heaven is, actually everywhere, all you have to do is stop and breathe,because heaven is here and now.