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Lucky Queue Jul 2015
you're the boxspring billionaire of feel-good
saving up your love for a rainy year,
scrounging and saving every fleeting smile and shallow kiss and
miserly, hunched over with the weight of your own suffering and despair,
each scrapped-together pile of crumpled-from-your-pockets shreds of I.O.U.s and featherlight touches.
too afraid to leap and risk, you'll never grow or invest your affections into the stocks of Lisa and George LLC, or Francis and Kelly Inc.
so your love is bound to crumble into fragile dust, the fruits of your labours withering into mouldy piles of seed, stem, and flesh.
the could-have-been and might-have-grown dying, before even living to flourish and erupt into glorious blooms of the strikingly ethereal and otherworldy.
but not for you, not ever for you.
you're the boxspring billionaire of feel-good
and you'll burn before planting your love.
written mid June 2016
the title sprang into my mind during a drive and wouldn't leave
ironically it then spread and grew on its own
Morgan Oct 2016
Good morning,
It's a beautiful day
to romanticize my own death

Good morning,
My brain is doing this
Brand new ****** up thing
And it's hardly 8 AM

I used to know how to float
Now I'm drowning

I used to know how to keep my distance
Now my feet are dangling over the edge

And I have this constant feeling in my stomach
Like I'm already falling

And I'd ask you to talk me down
But we haven't been talking

And I'd ask you to hold my hand
But you can't reach me
From where I've been hiding

I don't know
What it is
About this bed
That's begun to feel
Like a coffin

I drink coffee at night
And pills in the morning

I am tired
But not for a
Lack of sleeping

My dad has a doctorate degree
In civil law

I'm 22 and a freshman
With very little direction

I've been disappointed in myself for so long
But I haven't done much to change it

I thought maybe yoga
Would enlighten me
But I don't like the way
My body looks
When it bends

I thought maybe
A boy could save me
From feeling ugly
But he doesn't like they way
My body looks
When it bends

And he doesn't say it

He doesn't say much at all

But I could tell,

I was born intuitive

And I've been trying
Lately
To shake it

Cause everyone's thoughts
Are cold and painful

And I don't wanna see them
Anymore

I get paid
to bathe people,
to feed them,
to do their laundry,
And to make them smile,
But they still tell me
Right before they fall asleep
At night,
Right before I finally get
To leave them,
That I'm going to Hell
For the pictures in my skin
That I thought I needed
When I got them

I just wanna love something

I just wanna feel loved sometimes

There's a broken heart
on my right bicep
With a banner through it
That reads "myself"
And I'd say it's pretty honest

I've been breaking my own heart
Since I learned how to be
Introspective
When I was eight

I've been breaking my own heart

I just wanna be kind
To myself
And to the boy
Who holds me
And to the friends
Who call me
And to the family
Who supports me

I just wanna be kind
To my mind
And to my body

Show me how
To be decent

I'm so cruel
Anymore
ok Dec 2014
spread me open and lay me out on your table like a blueprint (I'm just as hard to read)
nail me on the wall like a laminated world map (put pins on all the places you've been)
oil me up like your old, squeaky boxspring mattress (you remember the one)
give me life like the cpr dummy in middle school health class (mouth to mouth, get it?)
tell everyone how beautiful I look like a dead body in an open casket (we all know what you really mean)
wreck me like the abandoned house behind the railroad tracks (what a shame, it has so much historical value)
wrap me up like a reopened wound (oops, my bad)
bite me like the hangnails you get from chewing your fingers (it's a nervous habit)
drill my pieces together like ikea furniture (you might just have to wing it, I lost the instructions a long ******* time ago)
cassiopeia miel May 2016
you don’t own me. you can rent my body for a night or three, but don’t knock on my heart’s door because there’s nobody home. you could try to break in but i’m circling you in the shadows with a can of gasoline and a box of matches, waiting to jump at the opportunity to ignite this night with a little more fun than the kind that can be promised with a bottle of gin and doing the horizontal shuffle against a boxspring.

you wanted to **** me, and that was fine with me, but then you got greedy and wanted to love me and darling this just won’t do; i don’t want it, i don’t want you. (you might be inside me, but you’ll never be able to find me)
plEasE... i want to hold you close, but you have been infected and when your body is near to mine, the bile tilts and drips into the perforations in my skin. i’ve already been worn thin and this acid hits deep to the exposed nerves strung together like broken piano strings and sparking frayed wire.

petulance is a small child with his index fingers in his ears and his eyes ******* shut, as if he can erase fact from factuality; "it didn’t happen. i can turn back time, i can restart this game. insert 4 coins.”

i’m not dancing anymore; my bones are cracked eggshells held together only by how still i can stay, tongue bitten raw with the focus placed on my concentration and concealing my previous reputation--man, i’m not lost, i’m just searching for the person i used to be.
--- i don’t accept who i was, so how could i accept who you are? you are tainted and i am rust and the primordial soup of stardust, decay, and dust.

i am one incapable of loving, i am ugly and there are no pretty words to dress up my hate; i’m dressed with rage, dressed to ****. i should play tennis, because love means absolutely nothing to me.

you are the kinda mistake i’ll learn nothing from.
this has been unfinished for months. i keep meaning to come back 'round to it, but i don't want to think about what inspired me to write this, even though it's already on my mind 24/7 and driving me mad.
Ella Aug 2019
account total: $1912.92

i already work a 9 to 5
to pay my rent and cigarette cravings
that pops kernels in my chest
and burns my knees
but that pain
was a needle's *****
compared to not having you
by my side

of course
love was more than pocket change
so i bought you a plane ticket (-six hundred dollars)
and the fastest booked train ticket (-ten dollars)
to see you

on our date
we had sushi (-twenty five dollars) and drank merlot (-twelve dollars)
our intoxication engulfed the best of us
and we made love in the back of my chevy until the morning hit

our souls intertwined
to be one being
after work
i used to buy you flowers (-eight dollars)
tied with ribbons
that matched your favorite yellow sweater

some nights
our stove light would burn away and need repair (-three hundred and twenty dollars)
so we would bus down edgewood road (-four dollars and forty-two cents)
to get ourselves takeout at seven pm (-fifteen dollars)
then sit on a bench in the mall while we licked ice cream off our fingers (-six dollars and fifty cents)
i would reach into my coat
and light a cigarette from the pack (-nine dollars)
for us to share

we used to sit and talk about life
the drugs we tried
the theories of aliens that roamed the galaxies
our passion and sadness
rolled into one blunt of conversation
that we used to occasionally share in highschool

if life gave me lemons
i would buy you an orchard to pass-through
i would buy you your favorite shampoo (-fourteen dollars)
and watch the suds crawl down your back while i brushed my teeth
every tuesday morning

we would make breakfast from last night's grocery shopping (-one hundred thirty-two dollars)
and listen to the sounds of the city
that shouted outside our 2 bedroom apartment
that only i pay for
and it caused us to stay awake and scream until we numbed the burning in our lungs with the sounds of *******
trying to find the music in all this anger
for i couldn't feed you the foods you wished to dine upon
or fetch the duvet you hoped to be sprawled whoreishly upon our fading mattress that smushed our boxspring

but sometimes
the *** wouldn't help
and you would come home with wads of one-dollar bills
crumpled up in your pockets
and it makes me wonder if my love no longer sells for you
sometimes
our anger spills in copious drops of alcohol (-37 dollars)
and crashes into shards of fine (-300 dollar) china my mother bought to brighten the rooms
sometimes
i find myself waking up to an empty bedside
with you curled up on my couch with hair knotted on your head
and (-10 dollar) mascara staining your face like coffee flowing from the lips of my ***

because i don't have enough money to give to soothe your soul
for loving you is a fortune
that turned dollars into pocket change to drop on the streets

and the bank came in with a statement that fined you the money you owed my account
so you packed your (-400 dollar) suitcases and fled with the glass of my heart still pricked within your palms
and the receipts of cash licking my doorstep clean

because loving you is expensive

account total: $10
Under the rug
where it's darker than light
rumbles & tumbles
a beast born of the night.
What is it you ask?
Well, to know that
one must be brave
and one must also crave
to place a face to all fears looming.
So, go on, lift up the mat's edge...
Sneak a peek at
darkness booming.

Close the cupboard doors
for from far in the back
lurches & lumbers forth
the most frightful roars.
Your ears can follow your fear
to the space just farther than
the longest arm's reach,
past the jar of pickles,
and through the forest of forgotten spices,
even beyond the lost boxes
of instant mashed potatoes
which don't grow old for eternity.

It is this lightless den
that's home to scores of tiny T-rex
looking creatures called
Boomasaurs.
They spend their time
noshing & munching
gobbling & gurgling
snacks of all kinds;
including grazing fingers.
You don't need to know too much more about them,
of this I'm sure,
just go close the cupboard door.

Do you trust your boomerang?

There's nothing under your bed,
as sure as there aren't bats in my head,
and I write this in a room
where laces can't be in shoes,
so, you better check under your bed.

For beneath your pillowy paradise
on which you wish to float in a dream of candies 'n cream
shuffles a shadowy blob; dark, as though made of demons' truffles.
And being a black mass of a mess
it moves beneath your boxspring
in a roll-flop manner.
The sound of which when heard lulls the tired & weak,
meek, children & adults alike
into a nightmare's pleasures.
shha-boom   shha-boom
shha-boom   shha-boom
shha-boom   shha-boom
shha-boom   shha-boom
shha-boom   shha-boom
shha-boom   *shha-boom
A Nov 2019
Deep dive
No jump is ever too high
Don’t really care if I die
Can’t be worse than all my insides

Jumping
Up and down on my Boxspring
Hit the ceiling now I’m flailing
On the floor my blood is spilling

Deep breath
Get your cell and call an ambulance
Better yet hit up my therapist
Whosever willing to take care of this
So much moooooooooood. I really like the visual language. Wanna expand on this one but have been mulling over these words for a while and just needed to write it down.
Nicole Lourette Aug 2010
#7
a painter loves every stroke of her brush as you cherish every drop of ink. You discover something new with each written word and you excite to turn the page. Your art – your flow of blood must not slow as you close your eyes…do you remember your first poem? the mattress was on the floor, your closet door barred the entrance and you sat crying on the boxspring pouring out words…you wrote about love…love…that dreaded word that has eaten away at you the past 3 years and you continue to deny it entrance to your life. Why is it that you spill ink to paper? It is because of love. the love that you have for destroying, creating and finding yourself among the pages. You have not lost it…you’ve simply become distracted with responsibility, stress and depression. You were doing so well!...until you stopped writing. Do Not Stop. The heart does not stop beating simply because it needs a break – that break would become permanent. Do not cease to pulsate your imagination through your veins. This is your life – and you need life to live.
Carl Miller Jan 2021
Bound to a boxspring
With scars on her legs and feet
Eyes adjusting to the light
The faint glow of day warm and sweet

I had never seen wings so silken
Like sheets of cashmere doused in flame
With arms open wide, tied
As if she were a part of the old bed frame

I ask her for her name
As though she would remember vividly
Eight long weeks in the dark
She croaks “sorrow” timidly
You were in pain.
Love-evans May 2018
Rental down payments-
Moving van-
Rental debt:
  N-
  L-
Debt to parents: 25,000
Mac-external hardrive
iPad -accessory  
iphone-
     Oloclip-Lense
     Selfie light -phone case
     Selfie stick
     Heavy duty case
Mattress/ Boxspring/ Frame
Cat stuff
Dresser
Lights (Plants/ Photography)
Sound proofing
Microphones
Headset-beats
Garageband
Mic ****
Photography camera
Lenses
Vlog camera
Sewing machine
Patterns
Cactus
Backdrops/green screen
Dove finch he following iniquitous
     licentious, lecherous longing
     extinguished quite
some years ago,
     when eldest daughter
     stopped being polite
actually she ceased - might
tee angry talking heads

     to this papa for months, whose
     only asks prays foe praise,
     and who doth newt
     wish to ignite
animosity from any beloved fan,
     whose critical judgement
     toward my errant friskiness,
     aye snuffed out light

and accepts dues
     against prickly don'ts,
     and opted to risk broad
     casting general height
full actions, which attestation
     spiritedly burst asunder
     blitzing Lenovo external
     screen within minutes bite

mutt hung lest
     censorious replies pillory
     this sensitive chap
     I merely uncorked
     irrepressible facet
     (asian iron maiden
     strangle choke hold)
     forced these words

     to help give hollow explain
nations of this nada
     so shiny white knight
philanderer (juiced now ***
     ming clean) by night just
     an oon din
     aery in Das scribe
     bubble during -

     the day until...zee...
wife found me absent - yee
(ping, and sowing, thee
rather desiccated oats)
     celibacy playing tree
men dose impetus,
     viz midlife crisis spree
from sleeping quarters re:

at 724 West Rail
     road Avenue, pre
planned within
     the basement nee
tricked out as cellar quasi
     pent house suite for me
comfortable sleep
     ping accommodations,

     pleasing this wander
     lusting NON GMO lee
burr teen, sans mat,
     (and also Scottish Matt)
     tress atop boxspring key
ping stockpiles of prurient frilly
     laced female lingerie, je
nais se quois, no matter

     escapade usual lee
took place in pitch black dark
     accouterments singularly, solely,
     and strictly necessitated,
     arousing, coaxing, and
     exciting libido asper
     one barenaked lady for
     yours truly, whereat

     aye do blatantly
     confess flute'n glute'n guilt free
     to concocting, hat
     ching, and orchestrating
     profligate secrete

     rendezvous aspirations
     toward sordid man of la
     cherry munch ching Lothario
     (a combination Casanova,
     Don Juan) wannabe.

— The End —