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On the third day of Reggae Christmas
My boombastic love gave to me:
3 beautiful bowls
2 boombastic bongs
and a brand new marijuana tree.
The 25 Days of Reggae Christmas
Lighnin' is just a big ol' lighter.
Strikin' down like a boombastic fighter.

One day lightnin' strike to me front.
Just far enough to light me blunt.

Most people say me was lucky dat day.
However, I was not. Me blunt blew away.
RIP in Peace blunt.
I'll always remember you.
On the fifth day of Reggae Christmas
My boombastic love gave to me:
5 smokin' spliffs
4 grams of purple
3 beautiful bowls
2 boombastic bongs
and a brand new marijuana tree.
The 25 Days of Reggae Christmas
On the second day of Reggae Christmas
My boombastic love gave to me:
2 boombastic bongs
and a brand new marijuana tree.
The 25 days of Reggae Christmas
On the eighth day of Reggae Christmas
My boombastic love gave to me:
8 bowls of cereal
7 dabs of oil
6 blazin' bubblers
5 smokin' spliffs
4 grams of purple
3 beautiful bowls
2 boombastic bongs
and a brand new marijuana tree.
The 25 Days of Reggae Christmas
On the eleventh day of Reggae Christmas
My boombastic love gave to me:
11 ragin' reefers
10 lightin' lighters
9 hefty island boys
8 bowls of cereal
7 dabs of oil
6 blazin' bubblers
5 smokin' spliffs
4 grams of purple
3 beautiful bowls
2 boombastic bongs
and a brand new marijuana tree.
The 25 Days of Reggae Christmas
On the ninth day of Reggae Christmas
My boombastic love gave to me:
9 hefty island boys
8 bowls of cereal
7 dabs of oil
6 blazin' bubblers
5 smokin' spliffs
4 grams of purple
3 beautiful bowls
2 boombastic bongs
and a brand new marijuana tree.
The 25 Days of Reggae Christams
On the sixth day of Reggae Christmas
My boombastic love gave to me:
6 blazin' bubblers
5 smokin' spliffs
4 grams of purple
3 beautiful bowls
2 boombastic bongs
and a brand new marijuana tree.
The 25 days of Reggae Christmas
On the tenth day of Reggae Christmas
My boombastic love gave to me:
10 lightin' lighters
9 hefty island boys
8 bowls of cereal
7 dabs of oil
6 blazin' bubblers
5 smokin' spliffs
4 grams of purple
3 beautiful bowls
2 boombastic bongs
and a brand new marijuana tree.
The 25 Days of Reggae Christmas
On the fourth day of Reggae Christmas
My boombastic love gave to me:
4 grams of purple
3 beautiful bowls
2 boombastic bongs
and a brand new marijuana tree.
The 25 Days of Reggae Christmas
Me be 'avin a good time enjoyin' me boombastic trailer park home.
Den a tornado of Reggae come rollin' down da road.
Reggae Kids with a Reggae attitude.
Hooligans with a passion. My passion.
Reggae

Da flurry of rastafarianism be tearin' up the houses.
Destroyin' mailboxes as dey 'proach me home.
Den, like lightnin' they be in front of me.

We like you, Reggae Reggie
They say
But we be as poor as a washed up Island Boy
I fear for my safety
So we gonna have to rob you

Me pull out a gun n shoot the kids.
****'n chumps tink dey can rob me.
No way Jose.

*******, bad boys

Life went on.
This really happened to me this mornin'
Slap da bass right up mon.
Slap da bass down low now.
Bump ya sweet ting a little closa.
I just wanna get to know ya.

Gettin' all blem on ya vibes.
You gettin' knocked down by mine.
Bend down, turn 'round, back it up right.
Wanna puff what I'm puffin' all night.

Me nose burns with wit smoke.
Me body's empty, waiting for ya touch.
The bass is slammin' in me ear drums.
The bass slappin' makes me face numb.

Beat poundin' as I slide over
Boombastic rydems like no otha'.
You da noicest ting I ever did see.
Lemme take ya home. Slap da bass wit me.

*Slap it riiiiiight up
Slap dat ******* bass, all up in my face, you tasteful patty-licker.
On the twelfth day of Reggae Christmas
My boombastic love gave to me:
12 tangy totos
11 ragin' reefers
10 lightin' lighters
9 hefty island boys
8 bowls of cereal
7 dabs of oil
6 blazin' bubblers
5 smokin' spliffs
4 grams of purple
3 beautiful bowls
2 boombastic bongs
and a brand new marijuana tree.
The 25 Days of Reggae Christmas
On the seventh day of Reggae Christmas
My boombastic love gave to me:
7 dabs of oil
6 blazin' bubblers
5 smokin' spliffs
4 grams of purple
3 beautiful bowls
2 boombastic bongs
and a brand new marijuana tree.
The 25 Days of Reggae Christmas
On the first day of Reggae Christmas
My boombastic love gave to me:
A brand new marijauna tree.
Sorry I'm a little late, but its better later than never.
Welcome to the 25 days of Reggae Christmas!
i smoke the ******, people take a wiff
i cant tie ma shoes but i can *** yo *****
i walk that streets wit my boombastic reggae styl
we go to ma doops bungaloo and he says *** and stay a while
we find some bittys wit a fat *** and tell them theat they fine
they say we're creeps witout jobs we say they need some wine
turns out they werent down to *** like an assembly line

tired i go home down tha empty reggae street
i light tha ****, i light tha spliff till i cannot feel my feet
a car puls up i drop my cup they say to get in the backseat
im ****** about the cup it had my last brew and i want to drop a **
i owe them money i have none they brake ma kneecaps what fun
they throw me out the car, away i scurry
she got a big ***** so i call her big *****
Ja feel?
Hello, my name is Reggae Reggie, and this is my confession.

I am a Reggae mon. My life is Reggae.
I love being a boombastic island boy, slouchin', couchin', and enjoyin' a splif of Reggae love.
I spend most of my time in my home, listenin' to dank Reggae.
Reggae always calmed my mind, until it told me to **** her.
I never would've don it, but sometin' changed.

Reggae

Reggae told me she was a Reggae sham.
Listenin' to screamo on the down low.
That ****. What a freak.

Reggae

I was mindin' my own business, lightin' that sweet, sweet Reggae ******,
Next thing I know, my hands are around her neck.
She begs for Reggae mercy.

Reggae

Next ting I know, I'm in my Reggae basement, blood pourin' all over me.
From her lifeless Reggae body.
The smell of a dank mornin' fills my house.
I love it.

Reggae

I snap out of it.
Realize what went down, downtown.
It wasn't me. It was Reggae.

**Reggae Made Me Do It.
The confession of a true Reggae lover
Me in da wrong place at da wrong time.
Headin' down da alley on me way to pick up me 'erb.
Suddenly, Big Boy 'pears round da corner.

Ohno

Da Big Boy grabs me and take me lunch money.
'ow am I gunna get me 'erb now?
He beats me like me papa did.
Jus when Big Boy gonna trow da final punch...

ohyeah

Da boys arrive for battle.
Spliffs in der mouts.
Vengeance in der eyes.
TruckerWithAPassionForReggae grabs da Big Boy.
'olds 'im down n saves me reggae life.
Blunt Blastah Mastah punches da Big Boy.
Don touch me boombastic buddy he says.
DertyBeatzFromDaStreetz goes in for da **** with a ***** reggae kick.
Reggae Mon Offishal gets me kush cash back.
Me in da clear.

We killed a man, but our flame of friendship burnt bright that night.
Like our spliffs, the light was jus' right, mon.
I'd like to thank the accademy for my reggae king nomination. I'd also like to thank the reggae boys, because without you, my reggae dreams would never become a reality. God bless you Isis.
I walk da streets under de Iz of zion
my boombastic styl could **** a lion
wit da good reefa in my between me teeth
i fight off kids who try to tief
for babylon is my home, born in raised
ma reggae styl is ere to stay
Itcha boi Da Real Reggae mon ja feel?
Thee **** yout; no wisdom, no respect...                                            

               Tink they're so boombastic, wait and see...

See a raggamuffin, on da street...                                            

Hood up, knife out...

Some **** reggae fools, dis lot...                    

                                                   Tink they can slosh sum' boomba clot...

Me tink NOT!


Not my yout, not my child.
Little Jaco is ten now.
He's a real blessed dude.
He knows his manners,
And he's clean as shween too.

Can't wait a day longer.
Want me yout to be grown.
Want to fly, get high,
And ease up, once we've flown.

Me yout's like me brodda.
Has the face of his motha.

*All I want is for him to be old enough,
So that we can both smoke ****** together.
Jaco, my son; me yout <3
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2017
my english teacher, a pict, of all people, massive fan of led zeppelin, introduced me to jazz... he just said: if you don't own miles davis' kind of blue by the age you're 30, you're in a shambo (knee deep in ****)... well, a ferocious over-zealous teen like any, i made the purchase aged 16.

after that, it was easy... i borrowed a compilation -
jazz on a summer's day: hot bun these days...
   selling, new, for £61.47... my, that's not bad...
   it might or it might not have
opened with
art blakey & the messangers'
song *moanin'
...
if someone doesn't like this song,
let's just say: trying to convince this
person for more jazz is,
     a "bit" pointless;
if this gold standard doesn't
convince the person in question,
where you can feel each of
the instrument's solos...
hmm...
  pontius pilate moment:
snap-chat the rest.
still... i'm thinking of this saxophone
player that played the jazz
standard how deep is the ocean
with such a distinct technique;
ever heard a wheezing out of
breath saxophone player?
the wheezing one,
      the trembling-f-f-f-f one...
god, the name escapes me,
feels like i minding what
lionel nation might provide
with due anecdotes...
         this is going to **** me...
i want to remember his name,
i know i copied the c.d. -
  and mind you, why buy compact discs
these days?
  headphones are too portable,
at at times: to claustrophobic,
cultural appropriation yet? we hit
the high tide watermark?
  oh, i'm not worried about the spaghetti,
just asking, because i was just
going to say: classical music sounds
great in a concert hall, a bit ******
on the radio with all the adverts news
and weather...
    jazz?
         shady bars and certainly the radio...
i've been trying to find a jazz-only
radio station on the english FM / AM scale...
nothing, not even an s.o.s.;
come on, *******-it!
what was that saxophone player?!
**** it, whatever, the trembling-f-f-f-f
         bordering on asthma blowing guy...
can't be bothered enough to make the classy
anecdote...
         get lisa simpson on the case...
       i heard that robbie pinsky is still
on the case, hat off to you mate,
for those nostalgia pieces,
    or reviving the beatnik **** of poetry
& jazz...
           i wouldn't know where to begin:
i talk into the **** thing,
i don't talk over it...
  looks a "bit" crap, given rap...
  then again rap has become a mono-syllable
rhyming machine: ye yeah ye yeah um yeah
ye um yeah...
              mr. boombastic?
          mr. luvva luvva... ooh...
      slobbering mr. spastic, mr. fantastic,
diaper donning, hush ooh, shoo hugs shoo...
give up the buttocks for...
      white self-consciousness just kicked in,
and i feel like a middle-aged dad of three kids
and embarrassing a niece at her wedding...
****...
   even i know that ini kamoze
        made relative sense, by comparison.
God bless over the lost souls gangsta rock n rolls
Swoles of bank scrolls scriptures told in bold roles
Of the black legacy running since 1st of the BC
**** JC he ain't never walked out treachery scenery
All painted red footprints misread from bloodshed
See the heads tapped from the feds nothing but led
Read to the back of the real threads of forgotten saids
Speeches spread messages fled over sleeping beds
Cemetery buried with wise guys who saw lies ties
To the occultic pulp fictions sculpt it counterfeit
Life tryna sway away from the strife she got many wives
Husband of agony jealously ****** and armed robbery
See society in three dimensional reality salley
A sweet strawberry still gettin' dicked in the alley
Call up a rally no time for slouching scampis Sampson
Watching out for Delilahs shadow beautiful fiery halos
That's just waiting to re'glow resurface the cold
Once the heat is out watch where ya route ya business
Just giving up the realness all I suggest is kids
Teach 'em real scholars burning collars creflo dollars
Ain't never keep it real pastors just out to steal ****
And destroy they mad at me cuz I found my joy
Huh I move like earth vibrating tectonics supersonic
Blowing super chronic playing Ojays to BarKays
Real music for ya soul to dance to funky instrumentals
Write how I feel **** how you feel if you ain't diggin'
My skills stop chasing the bills of a thrills real steels
Being felt for those being dealt with this mafia ****
Amsterdam don't give a **** all critics get slammed


Boombastic fantastic stretch it like elastic rhymes fanatic
Like MF Doom static cracked it heads I batted tatted
On the mental from the scope I'm dope don't do dope
Got ya eloped to the bars that rope around industry slopes
It's hard to cope all the sane and insanity picnic ants
Crawling like instincts suckas scared to blink sink
Deep into twlight zone battles of Rome dueling chrome
Against my own got **** the war is still on the horizon
Flow cosmic *** my chick til she flies by space corporate
Guardians of the gate relate ******* her state
Hypnosis ****** overdoses stays the closest Moses
Holdin' my rod along with the stips caught wisdoms drips
Reign upon me showered me with a beautiful legacy crazy
This ain't a conspiracy but conned from the reality actuality
Still battling from a locality where many don't wanna see
Brown braids Rasta crusades original predator
No Schwarzenegger to bust out of the flavors tapers
Of Hollywood marginalized the hood off falsehood
See us we been banging before banging **** sanging
Cut off the puppet strings that was dangling paining
All my adversaries I got a picture with ya cemetery
We gotta keep it raw above the law do you see what I see
Warren G? 90s flow vibe feel the thrive all the way live
Coolio cracking ya mental celebrate Nefertiti's embryo
Yo I'm speaking on a certain skin melanin within sins
Got us welded unsung heros hung over the bridging gongs
Master martial arts lyricist cop ears listening to this
Tripping circuits my words hit like a baby symphony
Oooos and ahhhhs gimme the leche out ya bras
Mami's from Miami Texas Virgina and DC see me
Twice on the third **** the birds I chattel the herds
Seven time felon priced rhymes my mind ain't sellin'
Shaggy wah gwan is a sick ******* album yo. This **** is seriously boombastic.
I'm losing my ******* mind. Really wish I could smoke **** with out tripping out so hard.
I'd be lighting one up for you right nah shaggy
**** shaggy yeahmon

— The End —